Don't go thinking Mrs. HM is hirsute. I have nary a hair on my chinny-chin-chin. No plucking, no shaving, no stroking to appear wise. What I DO have is a single rogue strand of hairlike material that emanates from my cheek. My FACE cheek, you rapscallions! Not my rumpus cheek. It's on the edge of my right orbit. You know, that curved part of bone under your eye.
The Tendril has appeared off and on over the years. It's thin and white and about 1/4 inch long! Not very noticeable. Especially not to ME, since I don't look in the mirror very often, and when I do, I'm so nearsighted that I only see enough to part my lovely lady-mullet.
I was resettling my glasses in my lair, running my finger under the edge of the lens, when I felt it. I grasped The Tendril with my thumb and forefinger, and plucked it out. Uh huh. White. Thin. And no longer on my face!
It's not like I could be Rapunzel, and dangle The Tendril over the basement stair banisters to allow The Pony to climb up with that DOVE Chocolates bag in his teeth to throw away. It's a single strand. Not braidable. Doesn't need coloring or trimming. Just a pluck to remove it when it shows up. It doesn't sprout from a mole. It's just there. Or it's not. I never notice The Tendril until it's fully grown to 1/4 inch.
I suppose I'm lucky that I don't have a beard. I saw a gal on that 600 Pound Life show, and at first I thought she was a dude! She would have made a great bearded lady for Barnum and Bailey! She shaved it like a man, but not nearly often enough. You'd think that for being on TV, she would have gotten rid of the beard.
Yes, I'm lucky that I don't have any hairs on my chinny-chin-chin. Just The Tendril BY my chinny-chin-chin.
I have three of those hateful hairs! One on each side of my upper lip, actually above my upper lip. I will call it my upper upper lip. The last one IS on my CHIN! Mine are like bristles and they hurt when plucked. Unfortunately for me that are almost black in color.
ReplyDeleteI once saw a woman in the grocery store--in line in front of me--and she had a 5:00 shadow. Quite a heavy one, in fact. I feel fortunate I do not have to deal with that issue.
ReplyDeleteI have enough trouble keeping my eyebrows from becoming too Eugene/Daniel Levy-esque...
I have one hair that grows just under the curve of my chin, to about half inch length before I notice it and pluck it out, also one that sprouts from a mole on my throat about once a year that I also pluck out. Then there's that one white eyebrow hair that refuses to grow flat like the others and insists on sticking out, which makes it easy for me to pluck out.
ReplyDeleteKathy--The one who has a klothesline--There is a "shaver" called "Flawless." It's sold in Walgreens (and maybe CVS) in the "Seen on TV" aisle. It does a wonderful job of getting rid of those "mustache" hairs. I used to use Nair (for the face) and now use this. It works well, and doesn't hurt.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteYOU WIN! Maybe you can get a show on TLC. Pimples are already being popped, and gnarly feet being reconfigured, but maybe you can get the hirsute women to consult you. Looks like there's no shortage of them. We're 4 out of 4 here! You could be Dr. Bristle-Plucker!
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Sioux,
Maybe you could shave off your eyebrows. I could draw them on with a magic marker, at the risk of making you look like an ANGRY Uncle Leo...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXQgqCu98CM
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River,
If there was an award for the best ASSORTMENT of wild hairs, I'd give it to you. But there's not, so you'll just have to envy Kathy's award for having the most ANNOYING wild hairs.