Mrs. HM has a roving eye. Not a roving eye that seeks a secret paramour for clandestine dalliances. As Farmer H's friend Buddy's wife used to say, when he accused her of such glances: "I already have YOU. Why in the NOT-HEAVEN would I want another one?" It was not a compliment.
No, Mrs. HM's roving eye is her Teacher Eye. Not the Stinkeye, which is also a vital tool in the teacher's toolbox, used to restore order without saying a word. The Teacher Eye is almost all-seeing. It susses a situation in a second. Can detect anything hinky that might lead to shenanigans. It's like ESP, but not all that extra. A seasoned teacher scopes out a venue without conscious thought.
Mrs. HM may be retired, but she has not lost her teacher edge.
I went into the laundry room Monday evening, to remove some delicious crispy FREE chicken patties from the mini freezer. ALAS! They looked like the delicious crispy chicken patties, but they were sausage patties! Nevermind. They can be eaten on a bun and taste delicious in their own way. This is not a tale of mistaken identity in frozen chicken patties. The Teacher Eye had more pressing matters which needed attending.
Something was off. I knew it the minute I stepped through the louvered door from the kitchen. AHA! The spigots to the washer were in the ON position. We turn them off after washing a load of clothes. Buddy had a flooding incident in his almost-new house, because one of his water lines to his washer exploded while he and his wife were at work. The same thing had happened overnight in my $17,000 house. So Farmer H decreed when we moved into the Mansion that we would always turn off the water spigots unless actively washing a load of clothes. No big deal. A habit of 23 years now.
Of course I stepped over to the washer to turn them off. It had been three days since I did laundry. The Pony did his the day after. And Farmer H had been in and out of there on Sunday, his laundry day. I guess he forgot. I lifted the lid of the washer. There were clothes inside! Perhaps The Pony had done another load while I was in town. I'd ask when he came out for (the disappointing chicken-patty-less) supper.
While the sausage patties were warming in the oven, and before I sliced the onion and pickles that Farmer H still wanted, even on sausage, I asked HIM.
"Did you do some laundry? Do you have something in the washer?"
"No."
"The water was turned on, and the washer is full of what looks like a load of jeans."
"Oh. Well. I guess I forgot to put them in the dryer."
"Today?"
"No. Last night. I wondered this morning when I put on my jeans. 'These ain't the jeans I planned on wearing...' I guess I better go put them in the dryer!"
"I turned off the water. But you might want to run them through a cycle again if they've been there all night. Sometimes they sour if you leave them 24 HOURS in the washer! I didn't smell anything bad when I lifted the lid, though."
"They smell all right. I'm putting them in the dryer."
Thank the Gummi Mary we didn't have a plumbing flood! Perhaps Even Steven banished his French Cousin Unfair Robert to our other 10 acres up on the hill for the night.
The Teacher Eye. The Farmer Nose. It all comes out in the wash.
I wish I had enough jeans to make a load. I have one pair and they don't fit anymore, so they don't even count.
ReplyDeleteI used to always turn the water off when the washer finished, but now my dryer sits on top of the washer so I can't reach the taps or the power outlet. No trouble yet in nine and a half years.
I like Buddy's wife's response. When my PITA says something like, "Are you having an affair?" I tell him, "You've ruined me when it comes to men."
ReplyDeleteThat one is also NOT a compliment.
River,
ReplyDeleteI haven't worn jeans in years. My ample rumpus prefers it that way.
There must be something in our climate that wreaks havoc with those rubber hoses. Though the ones in our laundry room now are at least 15 years old, from when we got our "new" washer after Farmer H broke my Sears Kenmore. Of course, maybe keeping them turned off puts less pressure on them. I don't see how. Maybe it has something to do with the on/off parts that screw onto the hoses, and not the hoses themselves.
Oh, no! I hope mentioning this issue doesn't give your washer any ideas to be naughty!
***
Sioux,
Heh, heh. So many meanings can be derived from the same set of words...
My washer is 24 years old and has moved house 5 times without a single problem.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteI got my Sears Kenmore washer in 1984, when I lived in Cuba, MO. It moved to Springfield with me. Then to Desloge. Then to Park Hills. Then to the Mansion in 1997. So that's four moves, over 15 years. It lasted another 7 years, I think.
The problem was that in the $17,000 house flood (due to its broken hose connectors), it had water in the undercarriage, and only ran on one of the settings from then on. I think it would have lasted longer without that trauma! You can't beat a Sears Kenmore appliance! That's what my dad always said. He gave me the washer.
The replacement is a Maytag, I think. At least we got it at a Maytag store, the only place open the day Farmer H decided we had to have one RIGHT THEN. I'd have to check the label on it. I've never loved it like my Kenmore.
I loved all of my Kenmore appliances! I still have a Kenmore sewing machine that is my back-up machine. The Maytag washer that HeWho decided to get in MN, was the absolute worst washer I ever had! My old Kenmore had a lint filter right there under the lid. I could find all manner of contraband along with all the lint easily and toss it. When I confronted the Maytag repairman with my lint covered freshly laundered clothes, he suggested running them through the dryer again. I generously gave that machine to my daughter and got a Whirlpool. Still not as good as my Kenmore, but not as bad as the Maytag.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteThat's why the Maytag repairmen are so lonely. NOBODY wants to buy a Maytag once they get rid of an old one! Which is probably pretty soon, and not 25-30 years later.