The Pony and I picked up Domino's Pizza on Friday, for our late lunch/early supper. Lupper. As usual, The Pony rode shotgun in T-Hoe. We got his rolling feast first, and he strapped on the old feedbag before I even left the parking lot.
My next stop was the Liquor Store, where I got a $3 crossword scratcher that later won $12. From there it was off to the Gas Station Chicken Store. A journey that requires nerves of steel and cat-like reflexes, to make a right turn out of the parking lot when the stoplight turns red to hold up oncoming traffic, but before the right-turn-on-red people hit the accelerator. As soon as I'm out of the parking lot, I have to swerve into the left-turn lane immediately, onto the street beside Casey's, to take a short cut across the back of Farmer H's pharmacy, and across the moat to the GSCS.
"Hold onto your pizza!" One of those things you never thought you'd be saying to your future kids.
The GSCS sold me tickets (that won their money back. So it was not a banner scratcher day, but nothing to sneeze at), which I put away for later scratching, and settled my 44 oz Diet Coke into T-Hoe's cup holder.
"Aah. My precious! My magical elixir!"
"Heh, heh! I won't even say it. It's too obvious. I can't... but you know what it sounds like."
The Pony lets his 13-year-old freak flag fly. His humor relies heavily upon "That's what SHE said" scenarios.
"Okay. I know what you're getting at with E LIX IR."
As I waited at the light, I sympathized with Man Owner.
"Man Owner is working all by himself. He's not the fastest cashier. You'd think after owning this place, and doing it for 30 years, he'd be a little better at it."
"I take it his temperament is better than Woman Owner?"
"Yes. Man Owner shall inherit the earth. Woman Owner will reign in the Nether Region."
I thought The Pony was going to snort a liter of Coke out of his flaring nostrils as I made the right turn at the light to head home.
"UM! UH!"
"Okay. I know what I said. What I MEANT was NetherWORLD! WORLD! But it's hard when you get old and probably are coming down with a case of Alzheimer's!"
"Well, yeah. Nether REGION has a different meaning entirely!"
"I KNOW that! I use it all the time."
We made it another three miles before my sweet revenge was served up on a silver platter, by Even Steven wearing a tux and white gloves. As we rounded the last curve on the blacktop county road, headed up the hill before the descent to Mailbox Row... a white dump truck pulled out of a long gravel driveway on the right.
"Eew. Yuck."
"What do you mean? It's only a dump truck."
"I thought he was going to stay there. This is no place to drive on the other side of the road to go around him. Hill."
"I bet he just put gravel on their driveway. Yep. Look up there."
"I can see where he just dumped his load up and down it."
"HA HA HA HA HA!"
"STOP! I just realized what I said, a little too late."
It's pretty early for The Pony to be having Alzheimer's set in...
Oh yes. Our kids don't realize that we old folks are patient. If we wait long enough, they will do something that will bite them in the butt.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteI waited 3 YEARS to get even with one of my colleagues from Lower Basementia. The Pony's revenge was a grain of sand in life's hourglass.
Isn't it nice when your kids get old enough to understand all that stuff but are still young enough to snigger and chortle at it too? The fun years, before they get too adulty and start telling you you're behaving childishly. Which hasn't happened yet with my children who are all in their forties now.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteYeah. It's pretty humorous sometimes. Like when Genius was living at home, and he'd order something, and I'd say, "Your package is way smaller than I expected." Or, "I hope the dogs haven't been chewing on your package!" That would start a round of increasingly unfortunate scenarios for his package.