Friday, May 28, 2021

Not Road Rage, But Parking Lot Passive-Aggressivity

Mrs. HM is no angel. She can control her inner rage, but she does not suffer fools lightly. 28 years of teaching taught her both.

Unless you are as unobservant as Farmer H, you know that Mrs. HM hobbles about on creaky knees. Stairs are not her friend, nor low toilets, nor seating to arise from without an armrest for leverage. When the issue was raised with her doctor nurse practitioner a couple years ago, he glossed over it with a bless-your-heart attitude, and decreed that Mrs. HM was too young for knee replacement surgery. Then THE VIRUS arrived, and any type of interaction with a medical professional became an ordeal.

Anyhoo... as you might presume, my knees have not gotten any better. If there is a parking spot near the door, I take it. Even if it might be a handicap spot. No. I don't have a handicap placard. As Farmer H and The Pony tell me, "The doctor would give you one. All you have to do is ask." I don't know what that entails, but I assume he gives official sanction, and then I send off to a state agency to get one. But like I said, such interaction with medical providers is not that simple now. I was hustled out of my last appointment so fast that I didn't think to raise the subject.

My favorite gambling aunt has as various times offered me her handicap placard to hang from my mirror, but that is a slippery slope which I prefer not to navigate. I'm not a cheater. Just a wobbly aching slow customer.

The Gas Station Chicken Store has a handicap parking space at the side of the building. It's on level ground, and I don't have to hold up gas-buyers trying get off the lot, like I do when parking over by the moat between the GSCS and Farmer H's pharmacy, and taking a Galapagos Tortoise hike to and from the door.

I have been parking T-Hoe in the handicap space for the last couple of months. I'd drive through it and park in the other space at the side of the building, but it's by the FREE AIR hose. There are always people stopping there for FREE AIR, and I don't like to block someone who might be in the middle of a flat tire, itching to flash their rumpus-crack.

 
So... there's a parking space here, parallel to the building, and one behind it. Here's a picture taken from T-Hoe, while I was parked in the FREE AIR parking space:

 
Anyhoo... I'm usually facing the other way. I come onto the lot from the stoplight area, and drive past the gas pumps, and park facing the FREE AIR space. You can see the faded HANDICAP sign on the wall of the building. There's also a faded blue wheelchair decal painted on the blacktop. Yes. It's wrong of me to park in the handicap space when I don't have a placard or a license plate making it legal. I own that. Not literally! I mean I take responsibility for my law-breaking actions.

The way I see it, I will be inside for 10 minutes. I would never park in a handicap space at The Devil's Playground, to be inside for an hour. I do at Country Mart, because they have 10 handicap spaces. Maybe more. And I take the one farthest away from the door.
 
A truly handicapped person might wait 10 minutes to get the space when I leave. But I generally to do not see handicapped people at the GSCS. They have a little blacktop ramp to go up to get in the door. It's not conducive to a wheelchair or walker, but a person with a cane could navigate it all right. I hang onto the door as I enter and leave, to keep my balance. The only time I've seen a handicapped person there in a hurry was a man who parked right in front of the door (blocking two gas pumps, not that I'm complaining, I don't buy gas there) to get his wife inside to the bathroom. They must have been highway travelers. I've never seen them since.

However... about five times now, I've seen a psycho guy in a gray pickup truck. One time he parked BESIDE T-Hoe in the handicap space. And four times, he has angled in front of T-Hoe, cutting off escape unless I back up. Not a problem, unless there's a car in line for gas. Which there hasn't been.

Here's the thing. Gray Truck has a handicap license plate. So I feel bad when I'm in that space and he shows up. However, I don't know WHEN Gray Truck is going to be there. I'm not psychic. I don't PLAN to beat him to that parking space and make him walk farther. Which, by the way, he has no problem doing. 

I don't know the nature of Gray Truck's handicap. He might have heart problems, he might have prosthetic legs, he might have half a lung, he might be on hospice, he might have nothing wrong with him at all, but has the handicap plates to haul around a wheel-chaired wife. Again, I AM IN THE WRONG FOR PARKING THERE, because I don't have a handicap placard, and he has the official handicap license plates.

However... Gray Truck brings out the worst in me, because he seems to have a chip on his shoulder. Maybe that's his handicap: shoulder chips. The second time I saw him, he was parked at that blocking angle when I hobbled out with my magical elixir. He sat in his truck, watching me in the side mirror. When I backed up and maneuvered T-Hoe around the back of his truck, he got out and walked into the GSCS. He did NOT back up his truck and park in the handicap space. He was only waiting there to stare at me, I suppose, and show me his displeasure with his cocky, non-limping walk. Perhaps I am reading too much into it.

There's a slim chance that Gray Truck is parking at that blocking angle to leave other cars access to the FREE AIR hose. Maybe he's actually a sainted Mother Teresa, and I just feel guilty about my crime, and look for some way to dislike him. But if he was a stand-up guy, surely he would ask, "Is there some reason you're taking up my handicap space? I really need it." And then I wouldn't park there again.

However... last week Gray Truck angled REALLY close to T-Hoe's front bumper. I had to back way up to get space to turn the wheels and get around him. As I was backing, Gray Truck came out of the GSCS and was walking beside the building, looking at me. 

I carefully assessed my clearance, and drove T-Hoe past Gray Truck's rear bumper with only inches to spare. Just to make a point. Namely, that Gray Truck doesn't know who he's messing with. Pin me in, and I will give you something to think about. It's not so cutesy when you think that I might scrape your vehicle, now is it?

Heh, heh! Gray Truck is poking the bear. Riling up a LAW BREAKER!

Yes. I'm still in the wrong. But I'm not a rumpus-hole who goes looking for trouble.

2 comments:

  1. I think his handicap is that you get to the space he wants before he even gets there. Too bad, he should get out of bed earlier. on the other hand, YOU should be getting yourself the handicap thingy to display so everyone knows you are parking there legitimately. AND I confess I thought you were always exaggerating a wee bit, I had no idea you really are so wobbly and slow. Now I am extra grateful for my knees, which still do what they are supposed to.

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  2. River,
    I DO exaggerate on just about everything, but the fragile status of my knees is not one of them. Nor the state of my lovely lady-mullet!

    My perception is that this guy wants what he wants WHEN he wants it! Like Farmer H. And that he thinks I should know when he'll be there, and avoid that space just for him.

    The past few days, I've been parking in the other space, by the FREE AIR hose, and when I come out, people have been parked cattywompus trying to get air in their tires (the hose has a long reach, so they CAN get it). And of course no one is in the handicap space, so I've just inconvenienced the flat tire people, and my own knees, for nothing!

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