It's the end of an era. Time to say goodbye to an old friend. His warmth will be sorely missed. Sorely.
MY UNDER-DESK HEATER IS DEAD!
I can't remember life in my lair without my under-desk heater. He's been with me since all four fluorescent lights were working. Since the tile was not crumbling. Since there was room to walk through here, without old teaching accoutrements boxed up. Since my little tiny Pony sat at the gray desk in the corner, listening to the CD of learning Arabic that he'd requested for Christmas. (Tell me I'm not on a watch list!)
HEATIE had some health problems over the past couple years, but he always pulled through after bouts of choking. Now he cannot be revived. I only get a click when I try to turn him on. Do you know what Farmer H said when he heard the news?
"Good."
That's not very nice. Farmer H has always had a problem with HEATIE. Going so far as to say how much HEATIE must cost us on the electric bill! When Farmer H builds themed sheds, Freight Container Garages, and spends hundreds of dollars trying to purify POOLIO's Squirrel Carcass Gumbo water every summer, only to take maybe 5 swims in him!
I am missing HEATIE every day. My knees miss him more.
You need a new hottie. Or a couple of heating pads. Or Viggo Mortensen to apply hot towels every 20 minutes or so. Or an 84-pound golden retriever who's willing to lay across your knees when you're reclining on the couch. (I can deliver said retriever in less than 24 hours, if you so desire.)
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteI would prefer Goran Visnjic over Viggo Mortensen. No need to take away your boyfriend. I'm selfless like that.
I don't think my knees can take an 84-pound golden retriever. That would make them bend backwards. Or at least straighten them out all the way, which is not pleasant. What do you think I AM, some kind of contortionist???
Ignore Hick and get a new heater. Right now. Or yesterday. Do I correctly assume that all four fluorescents are NOT now working? They haven't been fixed? And why not? Are you surviving down there by candlelight?
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteDuring one of HEATIE's previous relapses, Farmer H found me a portable heater in his storage unit hoard. Unfortunately, it won't fit under my desk, it's too tall. AND it doesn't have a blower. It's like a portable radiator. I have no need for my BACK to be warm. It's my KNEES! And they are under my desk (which is actually an L-shape of two countertops), and I sit in the V part of it, able to rest my elbows on each side.
Let's not forget this is my DARK basement lair. Miraculously, the light by the door started working a couple weeks ago. I noticed something was different when I returned after a trip to the NASCAR bathroom. Just came on while I was gone. And the one over my desk has been consistently lit. It's the two behind me that don't work now.