Tuesday night, I got a curious text from The Pony. I was in my dark basement lair, and he was "cleaning up" after making his own supper. Which consisted of a can of biscuits, expired by approximately two months, and butter and strawberry jam. Okay. So he only ate 5 of the 8 biscuits. And he doesn't really like strawberry jam, but we were out of grape jelly.
"Uh. Ignore the picture of the butter I sent. Whoops. That was a joke for Bestie. Accidentally emailed it to you."
"Is it inappropriate???"
"No. It's. Butter. That I bit off the block of."
"Okay. No dairy pr0n."
"What-what did you think I was going to do with the butter?"
"I thought you might have a caption or comment with it."
Seriously. What kind of PSYCHO sends his friend a picture of BUTTER? I guess the answer would be, "The Pony kind of psycho."
He's a well-known Butterton. Like those old commercials. He would drape himself in butter if it was socially acceptable. One of the most crushing disappointments of his life occurred during Thanksgiving dinner of his 3rd grade year, when he passed around a baby food jar filled with butter that he'd made in class, and instead of just trying a bite, WE ATE IT ALL! Perhaps that incident damaged him for eternity.
Anyhoo... I still hadn't looked at the picture the next day, when the subject came up again, since we were having a baked potato.
"It was just a picture of my Kerrygold butter. We were talking about how much I liked butter earlier, and I said I loved it so much that I'd take a bite right off a stick of butter. So I put my teeth on my block of Kerrygold, and sent her a picture, as a joke."
Looks like he did more than 'put his teeth on' that butter! Seems like jokes were funnier when I was The Pony's age.
Reminds me of someone I heard about years ago who would slice butter like it was cheese and just eat it. I love butter too, but can't eat just butter on its own.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteI am not much of a butter aficionado, but I can slather mayo on just about anything, and even dip my fries in it. Still, I can't eat it on its own, nor make a plain mayo sandwich. The Pony used to take butter-and-jelly sandwiches for his school lunch. HE requested it. No peanut butter for him!
BUT HER response to his joke... What was it?
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteHe didn't tell me! She's in law school right now, and interviewing for an intern position, or whatever they call it, with different firms. So maybe he hadn't heard the response yet.