If Mrs. HM continues down this path, she might just need to jack up her high horse to new heights, schedule some cosmetic surgery to have her nose lengthened for better looking-down, and open some social media accounts to tout her worthiness!
Sunday, I was in the Hillmomba Casey's to buy scratchers. SO MANY people in line. One guy got there the same time I did. He motioned me ahead, but I told him no, I was getting lottery, so he could go first.
"Okay. But I'm buying lottery, too."
Dang it! But I still kept my end of the deal.
"Heh, heh. You'll probably get the winner."
I was pleased to see that he bought a PowerBall draw ticket, which I don't buy. So no harm, no foul. I gave the clerk my winners. She was the old lady clerk who's missing a few front teeth. She looks like her bones are creaky, but she's always nice to me. As she was ringing them up, the scanner double-beeped. She cleared her entry, and did it over. She pushed my tickets across the counter, and said,
"That's $15. After your winners, we're even."
"Um. Are you sure? Because I thought I was spending $20. I have this five all ready to pay you. Are you sure the $5 crossword rang up?"
She checked the receipt, and it had not. So she scanned it again.
"That's it. I didn't want to cause you to be $5 short."
That's Mrs. HM, honest as the day is long. Never consciously taking what isn't hers. Except for an occasional dollar out of the lottery vending machine...
Anyhoo... on Monday my good deediness continued. Farmer H came home at noon, all sweaty from carving up a giant fallen tree limb over at Pony House. Then he mowed some of the yard/field in the 85-degree heat. So when he came in around 2:30, asking if I was getting ready to shower, I told him he could go ahead of me. He had plans for the early auction. Even though it meant I might not have water as hot as I liked, I put Farmer H's needs ahead of my own, and set about washing the two big glass pans that I'd baked chicken in the night before. Because I'm selfless like that.
After Farmer H left, and I was on my way to the shower, I saw a SPIDER on the kitchen wall. A little spider. Definitely a spider. Not some freaky pincer-ed scorpion. I grabbed a paper town, and PINCHED that spider to death! No spiders allowed in the Mansion. He should have read the unwritten rules. I did not open the paper towel to make sure the spider was dead. I squeezed it as tight as I could, gave it a twist, and buried it in the wastebasket.
When I came back from town, there was a BIGGER spider hanging in front of the kitchen door. Not ON the door, but suspended, as if in a webby hammock, dangling in front of the door. He was black, with orange stripes on his legs. Pshaw! That's an outdoor spider. I had no interest in him at this time. I pulled the door open, swinging him towards the outer wall of the Mansion, beside The Pony's window. So I figure my spider karma is currently neutral.
I'm such a shining example for people contemplating good-deeding...
The spider on the kitchen wall would not call you a good deeder. No, indeed not.
ReplyDeleteDid you read "James and the Giant Peach" to your sons? The story the spider told about (I think it was) her mother or grandmother was so, so sad.
You're as bad as the person who painted that ceiling and got that spider's relative trapped...
More spiders are on their way to avenge that little kitchen spider's death.
All you need now is for Even Steven to recognise those good deeds.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteThat spider violated the unwritten rules, and got what he deserved! How would you like to pop a delicious deviled egg into your pie-hole, and chomp down on a SPIDER? I was upholding the unwritten law of the Mansion. I deserve a plaque and a key to Hillmomba. And maybe a Come Pay Me account for donations to support my gambling habit.
It was a good deed because I LET THE OUTDOOR SPIDER LIVE! He was there again today, dangling in his web-hammock. I think he reached out 4 arms to give me a hug, but I just slung him against the wall again with the door. I'm not one for shows of affection.
I never read James and the Giant Peach, but somehow I saw a few scenes from the movie, which were terribly disturbing to me.
***
River,
Even Steven has provided an extremely small reward this week...