Before Farmer H left for the auction on Saturday evening, he lectured me a bit on the treatment of my head pain from puffy sinuses as a result of the low pressure system this week that spawned several tornadoes. Little did he know that he was about to fire up an in-Mansion tornado...
"All you need to do is use some Vicks. Put Vicks in your nose. That'll open up your head."
"I might give it a try, but it's not stuffy like with snot from a cold. Just puffy. Squeezy. I'm NOT putting Vicks up my nose. That would burn. I might inhale it."
"My dad used to make us boys EAT Vicks when we had a cold! It worked."
"Well, you're still here. But that doesn't mean it worked. I read that Vaseline was first intended to be used for COOKING. But never that Vicks was safe to eat. I don't know where the Vicks is. I know we have some. I might have taken it downstairs."
"There's Vicks in the bathroom."
"Huh. Why don't I walk all the way in there, with my shooting ear pains, and stand around looking for it..."
"Do you see it?"
"No. I've looked in both sides of the medicine cabinet, and on the sink."
"It's on the left side of the sink. In a metal tub with my medicine."
You heard Farmer H, right? The words I just typed that came from his pie-hole? I looked on the left side of the sink. There were about 7 medicine bottles. No metal tub. No Vicks.
"It's not here. There's no metal tub. Nothing."
"On the shelf. Towards the bathtub. On the left of the sink."
"Nope. Only medicine bottles. No metal tub. No Vicks. I've had it. I can't stand in here any more. I'm taking my supper downstairs. My ear hurts too much."
"I guess I'll have to show you myself!"
I leaned on the sink, and Farmer H came stumping in. He moved three medicine bottles on the tiny shelf, reached behind them, and pulled out an itty-bitty flat round metal tin of Vicks. I've never seen one so small. It looked like an old lady's pill box that she'd keep in her change purse. About the size of a silver dollar coin, and as thick as an Oreo.
"That is NOT a metal tub! You never said the Vicks came in a tiny metal tin! I was looking for the blue jar of Vicks! In a metal tub container about the size of a Kleenex box. Since when is that little thing a TUB?"
"That's what it IS, HM. And it was exactly where I told you it was."
I beg to differ...
I found the jar of Vicks downstairs. Not in a metal tub. I took whiffs of it through the evening. It might have helped a little. It didn't hurt.
Vicks used to come in flat metal tins but I remember them being quite wide, like a shoe polish tin, and the Vicks tin had the same little twisty thing on the side to open the lid. Then they got screw top lids and after that it was the small blue glass jars that are now plastic. I wonder how old Farmer H's tin was and was the Vicks still good?
ReplyDeleteI don't think Vicks would help much with swollen sinuses, that's a job for a different medication.
River,
ReplyDeleteThis one is not as wide as a shoe polish tin. I don't think it's a collectible. I imagine Farmer H found it in a bin of travel accessories at his drugstore, CeilingReds.
After opening up my plastic jar of Vicks, and taking a few deep inhalations through that right nostril, I could feel the coolness of the active ingredient spreading through my head. Again, not saying it helped much, but it didn't hurt. Today was a tiny bit better. I'm hoping I'm getting over it again. I'm pretty sure that lit, smoldering cigarette not being smoked by the lady next to me in the casino on Friday did NOT help the situation. Nor breathing back my own mouth bacteria for the time I was masked at the hospital for my NP appointment and lab.
A little Cool Hand Luke today?
ReplyDeleteYes, men give nonsensical descriptions, and then expect us to understand them.
Mouth bacteria? You're supposed to breathe through your nose. Which also has its own bacteria so probably doesn't make much difference.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteYes. In place of Steve Miller, which I really wanted. Maybe this was Farmer H's way of keeping that special Vicks for himself.
***
River,
I've never been able to breathe only through my nose. NEVER! It's like air only goes in the left nostril, unless I pinch it shut and force it through the right. I can't imagine my days of running 10k races, breathing only through my nose. I'd be asphyxiated!