Never a dull moment in Save A Lot. It is, after all, the store where a woman followed me around, stroked my arm, and said I was SO PRETTY. And where a dude walked up to me while I was boxing my groceries, and handed me a wad of cash. I really need to start going there more than Country Mart!
Anyhoo... I popped in on New Year's Eve for a few necessities that ended up costing me $87! Seems like I'm not exactly saving a lot. I wanted some yellow onions, romaine lettuce, mustard, assorted canned beans for chili, ramen noodles for The Pony, hamburger for Pony burgers and chili, saltine crackers, hot dogs for the after-chili chili dogs, smoked sausages, Oberle cheese, chicken patties for quick Pony meals, garlic toast, and fake Honey Nut Cheerios.
SWEET GUMMI MARY! They were out of fake Honey Nut Cheerios! I had to get a box of the REAL kind. It cost over $4! The space for the fake cereal was empty. The cost was $1.89.
Anyhoo... I was perusing the family packs of ground beef when I noticed a man standing in my way where I wanted to look for large styrofoam bowls. Dude was late 40s-early 50s. Bald. Not too tall. Regular weight. In jeans and a plaid shirt. He had a cart with two items. I couldn't tell what was in the child seat part of the cart. It was flat and white. Like a greeting card. Or a pack of labels to put on file folders. Save A Lot has neither. There was also a small box of some indeterminate product down in the business part of his cart. But that wasn't what was weird about him.
DUDE WAS CHUGGING A BOTTLE OF WATER!
Sure, you may think that drinking water in a store is normal. NOT LIKE THIS! First of all, where did Dude get that water? Did he take it out of the glass-doored cooler up front? Was he not going to pay for it? Who brings a bottle of their own water into a store? It's not like he had a diaper bag, or purse, or European carryall on his shoulder. He would've had to carry that water into the store in his hand. Or stuffed in the back pocket of his jeans. Not normal. But here's what drew my attention to Dude.
DUDE SUCKED THAT WATER OUT OF THE BOTTLE UNTIL IT CRACKLED!
Oh, I'd know that sound anywhere! It's why I didn't let students bring water into my classroom. They always had to make a scene by crackling the water bottles. And sometimes, they'd squeeze an empty one to make the lid pop off. But I didn't notice Dude doing that. He was sucking all the water, and most of the air, out of that water bottle.
THAT IS JUST NOT NORMAL FOR AN ADULT IN A PUBLIC PLACE!
It would be akin to a shopper grabbing a rotisserie chicken out of the deli, crouching like a caveman, devouring the meat off the carcass, then tossing it over their shoulder! Thank the Gummi Mary, Save A Lot does not have a deli!
Yes, it was 66 degrees outside on December 31. But not oppressively hot and humid. I doubt Dude could have been at a level of dehydration that would require sucking back water like he was shotgunning a can of beer around a redneck campfire.
My Weirdo Magnet still has a charge.
Must be something in your DNA that attracts these unusual characters. Maybe they're really everywhere and you just have an acute sense of radar that notices these various events, that the rest of us do not. I don't know but it does seem a bit odd. Just wanting to drop a line and wish you and your family a happy new year. One can only hope it will be better. Ranee (MN)
ReplyDeleteThat is a little weird. Perhaps he is on some sort of medication that makes you thirsty? Or maybe he is on his way for a drug test and needs to flush his system?
ReplyDeleteI have seen so many "let's not pay for this" happenings during my time in a supermarket. I've seen women with a carton of cheap eggs and a carton of free range eggs wandering around the store long enough to exchange each egg then put the free range carton, now filled with cheap eggs back onto the shelf and pay the cheap carton price for a dozen free range eggs. I've seen people select a one kilo bag of grapes, eat them while doing their shopping then hand back the almost empty bag at the checkout saying they have changed their mind and don't want grapes. I've seen women "try out" lipsticks then put the used one back on the shelf. Children get handed cartons of chocolate milk and the empty carton later left on whatever shelf they are next to at the time. Ditto bags of chips or lollies. I could go on...
Oh, I think your magnet is 100% charged...
ReplyDeleteI think you could make some money creating a dating app for the weirdos you find. One person's weirdo is another person's dreamboat...
Rae,
ReplyDeleteI mainly notice them because they come up to me and interact! At least Water Dude did not! I guess they sense something in me that seems to be accepting of weirdness.
Farmer H had a guy come up to him in an Oklahoma casino and tell him he needed money for a birthday party. Farmer H said, "Get away from me! I ain't givin' you no money! I'll call security." Farmer H does not suffer weirdos.
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River,
Oh my gosh! That egg lady takes the cake! I worked in an insurance salvage store, and saw a man stuffing packages of underwear in his jacket. The 17-year-old kid who was cashier that day reached across the counter and unzipped it! The guy left "his" underwear on the counter and walked out.
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Sioux,
I'm sure I could make money at that! I could name it OkStupid.
Oh no, the people of Walmart have discovered Save-A-Lot!!! I have seen people eat hotdogs from the package as they stroll through the store, leave the package on a shelf and walk out withour purchasing anything! Rude!!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteIt would seem so. I have never seen that hot dog trick!