Farmer H is trying my patience! A jury of my peers (Me, Myself, and I) is ready to throw the book at him!
Tuesday evening, I went into the master bathroom to do what a person normally does in a bathroom. And I DON'T mean take a 2-hour bath in a big triangle tub. Farmer H had just taken a bath, though only about a 20-minute version.
The master bathroom smelled so good! Not at all like a wet Farmer H. Delicious, almost. What was that aroma? So familiar. Something I like.
I was perched upon the throne, posed like The Thinker, contemplating this sweet-smelling vapor. THERE IT WAS! On the side of the big triangle tub. MY Vanilla Coconut Soap from Bath and Body Works! That is NOT bath soap for the common masses! It is my CHRISTMAS GIFT from my sister the ex-ex-mayor's wife! Every year she gives me a few bottles of fancy (to me) soap.
I hoard my Christmas gift soaps under the kitchen cabinet. In fact, when Genius and Friend were last here, they immediately started foraging for any soaps they could scam for their apartment. When The Pony moved out, he also rummaged around under the sink, holding up assorted bottles, asking, "MOTHER MAY I take this soap with me?"
In fact, I told The Pony in no uncertain terms that he could NOT take my Vanilla Coconut Soap. I LOVE COCONUT. Vanilla, not so much. But the coconut can overpower it. I let The Pony take a Christmas soap. An actual scent reminiscent of Christmas. And I had let Genius take a berry-blend soap. I'd do anything for my boys. But not for Farmer H!
Farmer H can just use his bars of Irish Spring in the big triangle tub! He thinks not. He wants a liquid pump soap. So I told him to get one out of the hall towel closet. A run-of-the-mill common bottle of soap from Save A Lot, for the common people like HIM.
Farmer H tried to tell me that he found my Vanilla Coconut Soap in the hall closet. I don't believe him. I keep them under the sink. I use them on the edge of the kitchen sink. Right now there's a foaming variety in a pinky-purpley bottle that I think is called Peach Bellini. It smells divine.
My special Christmas soaps are NOT meant for Farmer H's butt. Such an atrocity has not been observed in the Mansion since Farmer H sullied my beloved sweatshirt, Ol' Baby Blue, by holding it over his private area while traipsing through the house post-POOLIO, and being surprised by The Pony.
Oooh! How Dare He!! I HATE people using MY soap. Now that I live alone it's not a problem, and I don't have any fancy soaps now either. Just a regular bath soap that smells like roses. I don't have liquid soaps. I do have shampoo and conditioner that smell coconutty and I like that. I think I'd really like a vanilla coconut soap, probably a Peach Bellini too, since I love peaches.
ReplyDeleteI shall have to search online and see if we have Bath and Body Works here in Australia. Or something similar that carries those soaps.
River,
ReplyDeleteHe was so secretive about it! He could have asked. The answer would still have been NO, heh, heh!
I checked my sink soap, and it's Raspberry Peach. The one I used last summer was the Peach Bellini. I think it was regular liquid soap, and not the foaming kind like the Raspberry Peach.
It was a GIFT! TO YOU! He knew better. Next gift you give him should be the remainder of that soap and you get a new one for yourself!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! That Bath and Body Works soap is TOO GOOD FOR FARMER H! Even the remainder of a used portion.