Farmer H drafted his paid helper to wage war against the attic squirrels of Pony House. He bought six bars of Irish Spring for $5.00 at the Dollar (and 25 cents) Store. They shaved the soap and scattered it all willy-nilly around the inside of the attic.
Panic ensued when they encountered a puffy-tailed enemy INSIDE the attic as they were working. The Buddy scared it, and the squirrel was sprinting through the other side of the attic, toward the area where Farmer H was standing on a ladder with his head poked up in the ceiling. Farmer H SCREAMED, and the squirrel turned and ran for the front section of the house.
Farmer H went down the ladder, and went outside. The Buddy had also come out of the attic, and was standing on the roof. They saw the squirrel sitting on the eave. It ran down to go back in the hole it had come out of, but The Buddy was in the way. So the squirrel jumped towards the ONE LIMB they could not cut off the tree in the front yard.
The limb was too far away and The Squirrel turned in mid-air to try and grab onto the side of the house. The aluminum siding was too slick, and The Squirrel slid, clawing futilely, down the side. Farmer H and The Buddy wired a metal plate over the hole in the eave.
The Pony said he didn't hear any sounds in the attic when he got home from work, but he saw one squirrel on the roof.
I don't know why I keep thinking of Bill Murray and that gopher in Caddyshack...
I'm wondering if Farmer H screamed in fright or did he scream to scare the squirrel back the other way.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteWhen he told me the story, it was clear that he screamed in fright. At least it stopped the squirrel from running at his head! Farmer H was agitated, even with the memory. Let's not forget Farmer H has no love of rodents. He screamed like a schoolgirl when he reached his hands into the pockets of his BARn coveralls, and encountered hairless baby mice.
But, did he wet his pants? I would have! Good that they found the hole. That squirrel could have bathed for years!!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh. I don't think so, or he would have mentioned it. Farmer H has no shame, and likes a story to be all about him, even if it shows him in a bad light.
That soap might go to waste! There has been no sign (nor sound) of a squirrel in the attic since then. KNOCK KNOCK on the wood of the giant pecan tree still taking up the yard.