It's no secret that I'm pretty sure Farmer H is trying to kill me. He has a variety of methods that he's attempted over the years. Some are more likely to leave evidence than others. NOW Farmer H seems to have bought a gently-used brain at the auction, and is using it to fine-tune his relieving-Mrs-HM-of-life techniques!
You may have read about my unfortunate leg-hole injury on my not-so-secret blog. That happened on Tuesday, April 19. The wound has been gradually healing, in the manner of an injury where flesh is gouged out of one's lower leg. It's not as if there was a flap of skin to cover it, or two sliced edges to grow together.
I cannot see this injury on the back of my upper calf. I can FEEL the area, but I'm not going to poke a finger into my leg-hole. I can feel it enough to remove the 2x4 inch bandaid over it, and the regular bandaid Farmer H applied to the lower edge of that one, to keep it from peeling off when I slide my leg around in bed.
Because I can't apply my own fresh bandaid, I am at Farmer H's mercy to tend my wound. I get the bandaid ready, slathered with triple antibiotic ointment, and make Farmer H wash his hands with GermX before touching anything. I would prefer to have my bandaid changed once per day, after my shower, when it gets wet and is easier to peel off.
Farmer H has been out of the Mansion at these times. So I've been getting my bandaid changed every 3rd day. It stays sealed up. The wound hasn't leaked anything since the Friday after the injury. So it stays sealed with the ointment and its own juices. HOWEVER...
I made the mistake of letting Farmer H peel off the old bandaid the first time. He must have read up on torture techniques, because he SLOWLY pried off that sticky bandage! Sweet Gummi Mary! I told him to just RIP IT OFF ALREADY! That's why I do the removal myself now.
Farmer H swears that the hole is healing. That there's nothing yellow on it. I have to take his word for it. If The Pony was here, he'd take a picture to show me.
Every time Farmer H changes my bandaid, he says,
"It looks healed. I think you could just leave this off. Let it get air. So it can get a hard coating."
"They heal from the inside out. You don't really want a hard coating, because that can get knocked off, and have to start again. Or it can hold in stuff that needs to get sloughed away. Remember when I had that big blister on my leg? I took care of it myself, and it was healing fine. Then you told me to let it air out. Within four hours, it had a yellow film over it! I had to put the ointment on and cover it again for several days! YOU are not a good judge of wound care!"
Seriously. I'm pretty sure Farmer H is trying to kill me, by doing absolutely nothing.
That is probably his favorite way. No effort. No real proof. (I just got back from five days with my academic cherubs. We slept in yurts. We froze on Monday and Tuesday. However, we all survived.)
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteThat would almost make Farmer H an evil mastermind. Which is HALF right, perhaps.
WHAT kind of person sleeps in a yurt and spends five days with students??? I'd rather take my chances with possible-murderer Farmer H! At least I have a warm bed where he stabs me with toenails, and elbows my lungs loose. PLUS, I can say what I want to him!
He's probably just fed up with having to change your bandaid. There's no reward in it for him. No cookies, no sneaky donuts, nothing but a thank you from you.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's such a chore to take one minute every three days to change my bandaid! All he has to do is bend over and stick it on. I already have it open, with the paper peeled off, triple antibiotic ointment already applied.
Sketchy health care provider!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteYou ain't a-woofin'! At least he's providing. Otherwise, I'd have to do it by touch. I can see the edge of the bandaid, but not the leg-hole.