Farmer H was getting on my last nerve even before the plate incident. He sprung it on me this week that we really need a Zero Turn mower. He had even been out shopping for them! You might recall, the LAST mower he bought without telling me! Took off in a fit of pique after a disagreement, and two days later went driving it by me as I sat on the front porch pew with the dogs! $1700 worth of mower!
The Zero Turn will cost around $4500, Farmer H says. He went to the John Deere dealer, and they had some on the lot, but wouldn't sell him one! Heh, heh! Such sweet justice! They said the dealership was closing, and those mowers were going to Poplar Bluff to a dealer there.
THEN Farmer H said he went to the local Family Center, and they had Zero Turn mowers for $3200. I don't know the brand of this version. Probably a knock-off, not paying for the name. Anyhoo... I don't know which hat he thinks I can pull this money from. We have spent all our expendable money on Pony House.
So I was already not in a good mood this week towards Farmer H. Yet still I made suppers for him, and bought him stuff to pack a lunch when working on Backroad Neighbor Bev's new house. PLUS we had some giant strawberries that I washed and cut the tops off so Farmer H could have a treat after supper.
I even toasted a hoagie and made him a chicken sandwich with melted swiss cheese. With fries.
"Do you want a real plate?"
"No. One of them other plates is fine."
"Which other plates?"
"Put it on a little big plate."
"I'm not getting it. A small plate?"
"No. A little big plate!"
"Sorry. That doesn't make sense. A little plate, or a big plate?"
"Over by the bread! A little big plate!"
"Saying it louder doesn't explain anything."
"You cain't understand nothin'! I want a little big plate!"
"A paper plate? A thin paper plate?"
"NO. A little big plate!"
With that, Farmer H came to the kitchen, and pointed to the sturdy paper plates, the kind with colored trim around the outside, rather that the thinner plain white ones with fluted trim.
"Right here! THESE plates! The little ones stacked under the big ones!"
"Oh. Why didn't you just say 'the small cardboard plate?'"
"I DID tell you! I said I wanted a little big plate!"
Farmer H still doesn't understand how I couldn't figure out what he meant. After all, he described it so clearly. And so many times.
one: at least now you know which plates he means and even I was getting a bit puzzled there. I wondered if he meant oval plates which are smaller across than they are wide.
ReplyDeletetwo: who stacks little plates under the big ones?
River,
ReplyDeleteFarmer H and The Pony are the wacky stackers! They are too lazy to reach under the "little big plates" to get a big one for their food. I use the thinner paper plates. I guess they think this is the fine china!
And you call yourself a valedictorian! Oh, right, that doesn't mean you read minds!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like a clairvoyantorian! Farmer H's behavior is so easy to predict, although I rarely have a clue what's going on in his mind.