Farmer H finally got Poolio looking swimmable. He kept complaining to the pool store about their recommendations when he took in water samples. One time they'd tell him it was too alkaline, and the next time that it was too acidic. Even if he didn't do anything to the water in between visits! They kept recommending one product or the other.
Finally, Farmer H hooked up that thingy that crawls across the surface of Poolio, with an umbilical-like appendage that is attached to a thingy that it drags across the bottom of the pool. The thingy on top is mostly triangle-shaped. Like a UFO on the surface of a swimming pool. I think the dragged part eats up the algae on the bottom, or at least knocks it loose to go through the filter. Anyhoo... the water was nice and clear over the past couple days. Farmer H actually took a dip!
So far this year, Farmer H has spent $296.15 on chemicals, trying to get Poolio in shape for the summer season. And he has taken two dips. So that's $148.08 per swim right now! Hopefully, he will take other swims this pool season!
In typical Farmer H fashion, he declined a new air mattress to float on in Poolio. I offered. They have them at Country Mart. Or at the Dollar Store beside Save A Lot. Just a cheap float that you blow up with your mouth, to wrestle yourself on top of to bob on the surface of the water. But no. Farmer H said he already had an air mattress. No need to get another one.
The next day I came home and was told by Farmer H that his air mattress is getting old. A suggestion, I suppose, that he'd like a new one. It's not like they're expensive. I could get him one for $5. Of course he didn't need one when it was MY idea, and I was on the way to the store where I could get one.
The preferred air mattress used by Farmer H is kind of an oval blow-up ring, with a net portion in the middle. So he floats partially under water, keeping cool. I'm pretty sure that one came from the Devil's Playground. Where I no longer set foot. So we can ask The Pony to pick one up. Or I can look online.
I gotta admit, it's much more fun to look out the kitchen window and see Farmer H trying to get on top of one of those cheap grocery store air mattresses, that are too narrow for him to lie on comfortably. It's like watching a man wrestle an alligator, when the alligator is winning.
That sounds like it would make a great attraction when people are touring the estate. You could probably find an inflatable alligator, so it looks realistic.
ReplyDeleteI know I would pay good money to watch a man get bested by a bunch of air--over and over and over again. (After all, some men are full of hot air, so the wrestling would be ironic.)
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteThat is a most scathingly brilliant idea, Madam! I know I can find an inflatable alligator somewhere. I could also have some foam #1 Fingers made up, for our Mansion tourists to cheer on the alligator! I'll have that Poolio debt paid off in no time!
You can find joy anywhere! Watching him struggle with a pool float would be amusing! We are so happy to not have to worry about a pool! I always thought I would want a pool when I retird, but the one in the campground cured me! We are currently looking at boats. We are so close to Lake Chatuge that we would get a lot of use out of it. He wants a fishing boat, but I would prefer a pontoon. I don't want to be in something I might fall out of!! I am not a fisher person, but I don't want him to go out alone. I would worry endlessly and he already worries me enough!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteIt would be even more enjoyable if Farmer H wore actual garments made for swimming, rather than none at all, or his tighty-whities! Even the SpongeBob boxers would be an improvement, yet they hang on a hook on the back of the bathroom door.
Before Genius and The Pony, we had a little pontoon boat that Farmer H bought off a local car lot. We'd take it out to the lake development where he bought a tax-sale lot, just to be able to get in and use the lakes and pool. I loved it! I AM a fisherperson, and loved fishing on the big lake rather than in the ponds. Also, Young HOS and Young Future Veteran liked jumping off the side and swimming in the deep lake! Wearing life jackets, of course.
$148.08 per swim? It would be cheaper to fly to the coast and dip a toe in the ocean! (maybe)
ReplyDeleteHe could save a lot of that cost just by emptying poolio and cleaning it out, than putting in fresh NEW water (*~*)
River,
ReplyDeleteI know! That's why I keep a tally, and point this out to Farmer H every summer. It was better when The Pony lived at home, because he also used Poolio. More justifiable expenses, with two swimmers. Now Farmer H is missing two days of swimming in this sweltering 95-degree heat, because he had a medical procedure on Friday, and can't submerge the area until Sunday.
I agree that fresh water should need less "balancing" with chemicals. It would probably be easier on the filter, too, starting fresh with no gunk growing on the liner.
I bought my grand nephew an inflatable shark for his summer pool fun. Farmer H could wrestle one of those for the camera.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteShark, alligator... any top predator would be entertaining!