Sunday evening we dropped off T-Hoe at Mick the Mechanic's shop. Then Farmer H drove me to pick up scratchers, then mailed a couple bills, got gas in A-Cad, and picked up pizza from Domino's. While I was getting out of A-Cad before he pulled into the garage, Farmer H got out to pee. Because, you know, the outdoors is just one big toilet.
I was puzzled a few minutes later when I went to change clothes in the master bathroom, and saw liquid on the toilet seat! In THREE places! I wiped it off and came back out to the living room to interrogate Farmer H.
"WHY is there pee on the toilet seat??? I thought you just peed outside before you parked the car."
"I DID! I don't know why there's pee on the toilet seat. Oh. Wait. I guess it's because I washed my hands, and went to dry them on my towel."
Huh. Farmer H's towel DOES hang on the shower door handle, beside the toilet. And the drops of liquid were more gray than yellow. So he was either telling the truth, or is a very unhealthy liar!
That must be the ONLY excuse a man could give for why there is dribbling on the seat... and it's NOT pee.
ReplyDeleteYes, the great outdoors is just one huge urinal.
Oh, I forgot to mention: a dollop of Debbie Harry is always appreciated. At least that proves you're not a one-trick pony, and you can rely on other songs instead of the same one, over and over and over again.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteI never would have believed this excuse, except for the hue of the liquid, and the location of sink and towel. Besides, Farmer H is not imaginative enough to make up such an excuse, and he didn't stall as long while answering.
***
Sioux 2,
Wait! I forgot to use The Joker! Steve Miller is poking a voodoo doll named HM right now!
I'd say he's telling the truth this time. Perhaps he could hang a towel closer to the washbasin?
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteThere IS a towel rack on the wall opposite the sink, but we hang other stuff on there besides a towel. Like Farmer H's SpongeBob boxers that he wears for swimming, or a shirt of mine for wearing around the house. I don't think much of it, because my bath towel is just across the closet door from that rack, and just as easy to use. I never thought of Farmer H going all the way to his towel to dry his hands. In fact, I rarely think of him washing his hands!
I guess I assumed he'd been using my towel, but after seeing how dirty his hands are AFTER washing, I'm glad he didn't!
How do they manage to hit the rim andthe seat of the toilet. Can't brush teeth without leaving clear evidence in the sink, like a gob of tooth paste and when washing their hands get the entire counter around te sink wet?
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteThey would make very bad murderers! So much DNA evidence for the taking!