Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Proof Of The Under-My-Roof Controlling Contrarian

On Saturday, The Pony sent me a text that he was off work, and getting Domino's Pizza. He emphasized that they were having a half-price sale until Sunday. So I asked Farmer H if he wanted pizza on Sunday night, and he said he did.
 
"Remember that garlic dipping sauce of MINE that you took last time? Do you want me to get you some of that when I put in the order?"
 
"Yeah. That would be good."
 
"Okay. I'm getting us each two of the garlic sauce, and two of the marinara sauce. So we'll have it for two days, for the leftovers."
 
When we picked up the pizza, those weirdo workers didn't even put the sauces in a bag! They laid them on top of the pizza box! Of course Farmer H didn't ask for a bag. He balanced them to the car, and then had to set them on the floor beside the pizza box. At least I made him put them on the floor! He was trying to put that box on A-Cad's leather seat!
 
"NO! Put that on the floor mat. And you'll have to set the sauce off the box, or they'll go flying when you turn the curves."
 
Farmer H was able to do that correctly. Gold star for him! He even stacked those eight sauce cups back on the pizza box to carry them into the Mansion.
 
"Remember, you get a garlic sauce and a marinara sauce tonight, and then you also get one of each tomorrow."
 
Again, Farmer H was able to follow directions. 
 
Monday evening, I warmed the pizza in the oven. I set a marinara and a garlic sauce on top of the burner that has a little vent hole that heat comes through from the oven. I was going to have mine later, so I did not bother to put my sauces over there just yet.
 
"Okay! Your pizza is warm. You can come get it. There's your sauces. I know the garlic sauce is warm. It's a smaller container. But I think the marinara is pretty warm, too."
 
"I don't want the garlic sauce. You can have it."
 
"WAIT! That's the one you stole from me last time! And then you said you wanted me to get you some this time. You even ate one last night."
 
"Yeah. I don't really want the garlic sauce."
 
That's the way the cookie crumbles. That's the way to protect your garlic sauce: order enough for the thief, who will decide it's not worth stealing. 

6 comments:

  1. I figured it out. You didn't?

    Farmer H only wants it if it's yours. Stealing... sneaking... That's more than half the fun.

    I hide things in my vegetable crisper/rotter, under the celery or whatever. My PITA doesn't go nosing around in there.

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  2. Sioux,
    Well, my mind has atrophied, with all this spare time on my hands...

    Ooh! That's a good idea, except that Farmer H keeps his weekly medication that he injects into his thigh in FRIG II's top crisper. I guess I could hide things in the bottom crisper.

    My 3rd best old teaching buddy Kellie used to wrap her treats (like a chocolate Easter bunny) in foil, and put it in the back of her refrigerator. Said she was able to save it well past summer. Then again, I guess she had the ability to ration chocolate...

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  3. I thought coveting garlic sauce was a high sin! After living with each other for years I buy snacks that he likes and I don't care for. Occasionally I will buy something that I like. He will eat mine before he even starts on his treats. Should be a sin!

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  4. Kathy,
    Farmer H definitely shouldn't be casting the first stone when it comes to garlic-sauce-coveting! Farmer H and Genius are two peas in a pod when it comes to stealing other people's snacks! AND they leave the empty containers in place!

    The Pony and I are the victims. We've learned to hide our tasty treats. Sadly, The Pony didn't hide his cake well enough, that day Farmer H helped himself to a large slice while waiting on The Pony's new laptop to be delivered. He KNEW Farmer H likes cake. I had no idea he likes garlic sauce.

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  5. So did he want your marinara sauce instead? And why does a pizza need extra sauce of any kind? Is it for dipping breadsticks?

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  6. River,
    No, I outsmarted him by ordering marinara and garlic sauce for BOTH of us, to last two meals. We did not get breadsticks this time, because they weren't on sale. The sauce was to dip the crust, which was hand-tossed, rather than the thin crust we usually get. Domino's leaves a lot of crust exposed on the edge of the hand-tossed pizza. Nobody wants dry crust! It was our breadstick substitute this time.

    Oh, and I had to pull your comment out of SPAM again! I don't know what's going on with Blogger!

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