Mr. Needy McNeedypants, Esquire, is overworking his public servant. It's a wonder she has strength left to type up this tale, after having just lost one hour of her life she will never get back.
Farmer H requires specific forms to be submitted concerning the delicate nature of certain items he offers for sale at his Storage Unit Store. The move to a new address means a review of the new information is necessary before the items can be sold there. So everything must be done again, and submitted to the licensing authority.
Farmer H would be non-compliant if left to his own devices! Oh, he means well, and thinks he is doing the right thing. But he lacks a certain attention to detail. Plays fast and loose with written instructions. Such as, if told to ATTACH certain information, Farmer H decrees:
"Just write it in on that line below. It's the same thing. Here. I'll read it to you."
Even after having that form with the precise instructions waved under his nose, with the explanation that ATTACH means to include it on a separate page... Farmer H STILL wanted it written under the instruction. Yet 3/4 of the way into it, he suddenly decided that yes, perhaps the paper he had COULD be attached.
Sweet Gummi Mary! Two forms. 25 Questions. Five attachments, only four of which Farmer H had at his immediate disposal.
Do you know what Mrs. HM was paid for her services? NOTHING. Well. Unless you count harsh words when she asked for proper details...
I am so helpful and selfless. I keep giving you the same solution for so many, many problems... and you ignore me each time.
ReplyDeleteIf you were still teaching, and had to work some evenings with parent-teacher conferences and staff meetings, you wouldn't always be home for Farmer H to use and abuse your brain.
Just sayin'.
Aaaarrrghh! Did he finally come up with the fifth attachment? did the forms get sent on time? Do you have a crash helmet to contain the blowout should you head actually explode? it's easier to put back together if all the pieces are there...
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteSweet Gummi Mary! You're such a GIVER! And yet I can't allow myself to be a TAKER. It is disturbing to think that Farmer H is the lesser of any evils, but I will take my chances with the devil I know. Perhaps it will be small consolation to know that I will be thinking of you at the moment my gray matter splatters.
It's already NOVEMBER! The school year is almost over, Madam! Just a hop skip and a jump. Thanksgiving, Christmas, POSSIBLE SNOW DAYS, President's Day, MLK Day, Spring Break... you'd better start getting your stuff boxed up for the summer.
***
River,
Farmer H had to get that other document from his SUS2. It's the copy of his Missouri business license. He doesn't need a city license at the SUS2. Or that would have been ANOTHER attachment. He ended up bringing everything back home, and I had to write on top of the business license. All told, there were 8 sheets of paper in the envelope I sealed for him. HE is taking it to the post office for postage and mailing. There was no big rush. It just had to be sent within 30 days of his move. Which technically was this past weekend, when he opened the new one for business, and closed the old one.
I do not have a crash helmet. I almost bought myself a bright orange sock cap at Country Mart last week. If they still have them, I think I'll get one.