Sunday, January 14, 2024

The Deliverer's New Clothes

Pony needs a new pair of pants! Not because he split them, or had an accident of indisposedness. But because he only has two pair of uniform pants, and one is too tight when he layers tights and a pair of cargo pants under them during frigid weather. 

In case you don't know, and why would you, the USPS uses vendors who will only sell to city carriers who have an official number for their yearly uniform allowance. When The Pony was a CCA (City Carrier Assistant), I think he got around $500. That seems like a lot, until you see that the vendors charge over $100 for a pair of pants. Don't get me started on the jacket prices.

Anyhoo... The Pony has acquired two pair of pants, a few pair of shorts, and a couple shirts. Also a jacket, which I think he bought, but might have been given by another carrier. I know one gave him a cardigan.

Anyhoo... you can't just go online and buy these uniform togs with a credit card. So I was looking for alternatives to get The Pony through the winter. Other carriers online had sung the praises of Ben Hogan Golf Pants, from the Devil's Playground. They're around $20, and come in that gray/blue heather color of regular uniform pants. The only thing is there's no stripe on the side.

The regular uniform pants come unhemmed. The Pony had Farmer H take them to his "tailor" to be cut off and hemmed. That's a lady where Farmer H takes his Goodwill jeans for hemming. Farmer H has a 28-inch inseam. The Pony measured, and tried to tell me his is 25 inches! I'm pretty sure it's not. Doesn't matter anyway, because the shortest inseam on the Ben Hogan pants is 30 inches. Worst case, The Pony can have them hemmed like he did the uniform pants.

Anyhoo... I ordered two pair of the golf pants, to see if The Pony likes them, and if they'll fit okay. While I was at it, I ordered him a pair of the shorts, just to try them out, so he'll know if he wants to get some in the summer. As with any good deed Mrs. HM attempts, she and The Pony are being punished by other deliverers. The shorts arrived on Friday, and the pants, allegedly getting here Saturday, now won't be here until Monday. Which is MLK day, and FedEx may or may not be working.

While I was at 10Box ahead of the upcoming arctic air mass due to hit on Saturday night, I picked up two pairs of gloves for The Pony. He has some, has misplaced others, and might as well have a couple extra. They cost me a grand sum of $1.76 for the men's, and $2.21 for the women's. (Oh, plus the 10 percent that 10Box charges at the register.) Different prices, even though they are the exact same style. Just a different color. I figure The Pony can cut the fingertips off the right hand, which he needs to be able to touch the mail, and use his scanner. What's it matter, at that price?

Here are The Pony's shorts and gloves:


See what I mean about the same color as the postal uniform shorts/pants? I got the black gloves because they won't show dirt. And the women's gloves because they're the color of the pants. They are posed on the back of the long couch, on a blanket that my niece, Niecy, made for me a couple years ago.

Here's an odd thing about these shorts. The back pockets, which you can clearly see here, have the silky pocket pouch area dangling inside those shorts. But you can't put anything in them! The seam is sewn shut! Believe me, I pulled and tugged and looked for Velcro, but nothing will open those back pockets. It would be different if they were mock pockets, with nothing inside the shorts. But there are actual pocket pouches that cannot be accessed.

I even asked Farmer H to take a look at them, in case my valedictorian brain is not well-versed in men's pants. Farmer H said, "Huh. They've sewed the pockets shut."

I don't think this will be a problem. I can't imagine The Pony wanting to carry anything in his back pockets while working. It's not like he'd take a chance on losing his wallet...

Anyhoo... I'm interested to see if the pants come with the pockets sewn shut.

6 comments:

  1. The pockets are most likely sewn shut so that small items cannot be inserted for smuggling into the country, I've seen this on the border security shows I watch when things that aren't meant to be sewn closed are found to be stitched because someone has tried to smuggle things into the country. Like extra cash or balnk credit cards ready to be stamped with stolen identities. So manufacturers who will send their products overseas will stitch those back pockets closed, all you need to do is unpick the stitching so The Pony can carry his phone in the pocket.

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  2. River,
    I sometimes watch the smuggler shows, but I've not seen anything about pockets sewn shut, or used to smuggle those items. I usually see the drugs in a shampoo bottle, or cocaine in the lining of suitcases and purses. Or the bundles of drugs inside car doors.

    Unpick the stitching? Like, start it with a razor blade, then pull out the stitching? I guess it won't do any harm, since the pockets are useless as they are right now.

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  3. A seam ripper would do the job and you could find one at Walmart, or maybe at that 10box store. Just easier to work with than a blade. Hope the pants make their way to you soon! They will probably have the pockets sewn closed as well.

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  4. Kathy,
    I'll look tomorrow when I go to 10Box. Dang it! Those pants just arrived. I took them out of the package, but forgot to check the pockets. Farmer H left to deliver them to The Pony, along with the thermal underwear, which he will definitely need tomorrow.

    The Pony had not yet tried on the shorts, because, as he said, "Cold." I pointed out the sewn pockets, and he said, "That's how the uniform pants come, too. I never use the back pockets." So I guess he's not concerned about it!

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  5. I use a seam ripper thingy, but a razor blade will do the job.

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  6. River,
    I'll ask The Pony if he wants to use the pockets, and proceed accordingly. I know one thing he won't be putting in there: his billfold!

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