Farmer H, The Walking Talking Money Vacuum

By money vacuum, I do NOT mean to imply that Farmer H is sucking up money to redistribute to our household funds! No. It's quite the opposite. He's a regular Charlie Brown friend PigPen kind of guy, except that it isn't dirt swirling around Farmer H... it's bills.

Two months ago we stopped taking monthly money out of Farmer H's 401K. That's because of the stock market performance over the past few years. That money will run out too soon, what with selling off stocks each month for our monthly allotment. Eventually, stocks will rebound. So you don't really lose anything if you don't sell off any shares. The value will come back up. So says Farmer H. I can see his point. It won't kill us to not take that money out for a while. 

Well. It won't kill us if Farmer H can stop needing MONEY every time he turns around. 

There was $100.49 for SilverRedO's dead battery.

Then the $400 to the dentist for two fillings (that he charged and didn't tell).

Around $50 for a tank of propane so he could grill for the elderlies' BBQ.

The $191.52 for chemicals to feed POOLIO.

And $153.09 for a new mask for his breather.

That's only for June! No one item, or even two, is anything to worry about. Like I've said before, I carry a cushion on the checking account. But funny how none of this stuff was needed when we were still bringing in our usual monthly "salary."

Oh, and three days ago, SilverRedO had a flat tire! He's been parked over at the BARn ever since. Meaning Farmer H is driving A-Cad. Meaning Farmer H is putting gas on the credit card, rather than paying it out of his weekly allowance he gets for such expenses. When that bill comes, he will swear that it was gas for our trip to have lunch with Genius, or for him to go to the doctor halfway to the city, or for lawnmower gas, or his family reunion trip. He always wiggles his way out of his gas-scamming tactics. He NEVER uses his cash for gas except in SilverRedO. Even though he's been driving A-Cad like he does SilverRedO, all around town(s), and to his SUS2 while adjusting inventory.

Anyhoo... Farmer H said that tire was fine. When he stopped at Mailbox Row on the way home, he saw it was low. And when he got a mile up our gravel road, it was completely flat. So flat that Farmer H must take off the tire and drive it to town in A-Cad to be fixed. Not just a quick pump-up and drive it five miles to Mick the Mechanic. AND, if that tire is not fixable, I imagine Farmer H will need TWO tires for SilverRedO. Since he's always told me you have to replace tires in pairs.

My point is, I control the purse strings with my old crone talons, and I do not like to pour out money for unexpected expenses. No, Farmer H isn't doing these things on purpose. It's just the unhappy coincidences which seem to follow him.