Anyhoo... imagine my shock when I glanced over at the cutting block, and saw Farmer H reaching HIS HAND into the bag of crispy fried onions I had just opened to use for a salad topping.
"EWW! Get your hand out of there! You were just outside peeing, and you DID NOT wash your hands!"
"HM. I use my left hand for that."
"That's bull! You use your right hand for everything!"
"No. I pull up my shorts leg. With my left hand. That's what I use to pee."
"I don't believe you! Get your hand out of those onions! You could just shake the bag over your salad, you know. No need to stick a hand in there and root around and grab some."
"You're always on me for something!"
Yes. Yes, I am. Even though I was too late to prevent the initial contamination, I will remain ever-vigilant to thwart Farmer H's atrocious hygiene practices!
Sorry if this was too much information...
What was it I said recently? Eeeeuuww, ugh, urk?
ReplyDeleteLet me just repeat that.
Eeeeuuww, ugh, urk!!
With an extra: Do NOT dip your hands into open bags, EVER!
That's what utensils are for.
River,
ReplyDeleteYes. The HORROR remains the same!
Most men fail to wash their hands after they pee. Just a fact. HeWho always washed his hands before he eats, though. So he does get credit for that!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteYou must be Cesar Milan of husband-trainers! I can't imagine Farmer H washing his hands before eating.