Last week, Farmer H came home early a couple of days, because Old Buddy was not able to work in the mornings on Bargain House. Farmer H did what he could, and then had time left over. He mowed some of the Mansion grounds. Then he said he was going to spray. Farmer H mixes his own insecticide, and has a canister and metal spray thingy that he uses while walking around the perimeter of the Mansion.
I don't know what the deal is, but we have not had an issue with invertebrate intruders until after the spraying! Sure, there are occasional spiders spotted, and flies that get in when the door is open. But we really don't have a problem with pests.
This week, I have seen TWO CRICKETS inside! I hate crickets. HATE, HATE, HATE! Not only is their sound annoying, but I despise their evasion tactics, and their bodies full of guts. The two crickets I saw MIGHT possibly have been only one, in different locations. I'm not willing to accept that theory. I must remain on guard.
Let the record show that I did not HEAR a cricket. I was in the kitchen, getting my supper ready while Farmer H was at the auction. A CRICKET walked across the floor! WALKED! Didn't jump. Just walked, creepily, its large body suspended by those jointed legs.
I can't move quickly. I'm not good at standing on one leg. My intention was to step on that cricket, and put an end to him. As I was positioning myself with a hand on the counter so I could lift my foot, that darn cricket walked under the stove! There's no retrieving a cricket from under the stove. No way to get at it. No way to kill it.
But wait! It gets worse!
As I was sitting on the short couch between midnight and 2:00 a.m., I saw ANOTHER cricket walking across the carpet. It came from the corner by the TV cabinet. Walking. So creepy. Walking. Across the floor, and under the marred coffee table. I could see it standing under there. I weighed my options. I cannot arise quickly from the short couch. Once I'm up, I have to get my balance, and let my legs unstiffen. I knew that cricket would be gone before I could get to it. Besides, what could I do with it under the coffee table? Take off a Croc, maybe, and bend over and whack it.
I watched. That cricket eventually turned and went back across the open floor, heading for Farmer H's recliner. I was afraid it might take a turn and come at ME. Maybe get onto the fleece throw I was covered with, given to me by The Pony when he returned home from OU. But no. That cricket walked under Farmer H's recliner.
I fell asleep watching TV. When I awoke around 4:00 a.m., I saw that cricket coming towards me. Crap! What to do? I picked up the large red metal flashlight on the TV table. It's there in case of a power outage overnight. About a foot long. Cold heavy metal. As that cricket walked, I leaned over.
BAM! BAM, BAM, BAM!
I smashed that cricket. But still, it refused to give up. It tried to JUMP and get away! I grabbed a Puffs With Lotion and covered it and squeezed. I know some guts were already coming out. I wiped up any of the goo that might have touched the carpet. SQUEEZED that dang cricket inside the Puffs. Wiped off the end of the flashlight.
Then I deposited the Puffs in a plastic bowl that I use to hold regular Puffs if I blow my nose overnight, and throw away the next morning. I got up and grabbed the cricket Puff and took it to the bathroom for flushing.
My problem is 50 percent solved! Maybe it was the same cricket, taking a tour of the Mansion, while I had been at the kitchen table for a couple of hours. Maybe not. I have my flashlight ready.
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