Time to vent again. It's more of the same. Mrs. HM is tired of having one set of rules while Farmer H makes his own as he goes along. While usually I slowly simmer, today my angst has boiled over. The papercut on my left ring finger second knuckle incurred while stuffing the Lowe's payment in the envelope was the tipping point.
I was paying bills, specifically the Lowe's bill, which is hard to decipher because of how they space the itemizations. Turns out NONE of this $964 bill was for anything related to our flip houses or household or Farmer H's SUS2.5. Nope. It was for materials Farmer H used to renovate one of the senior apartments. Now I have to wait on the reimbursement check, and make sure Farmer H deposits it in our checking account. Oh, and I just found out he is being paid EXTRA money above his more-than-$300 a month salary.
I don't begrudge Farmer H working extra for extra money. HOWEVER... from the beginning, as a married couple, filing taxes jointly, all salaries and monies have gone into our joint accounts. Then Farmer H started his business, and decided all that was HIS money. Despite what my mom bequeathed me being OUR money. It should be one or the other. It's all ours, or we each have some separate. It's not that I NEED my own money. Just that fair for one should be fair for the other.
I know Farmer H does all the work on the flip houses and doesn't charge "us" a fee for his labor. And the proceeds are split equally. But I also do uncompensated work, like the finances and taxes and waiting on him hand and foot, and pay the bills for his business without even a thank you. I resent that Farmer H feels entitled to have his separate money. Which is mainly fed into hoarding merchandise for his SUS2.5. Which certainly doesn't need THREE storage units for which he pays rent and electricity. Eventually, he will probably control the entire flea market!
Still, I don't need anything which I can't afford. It's not like Farmer H is spending it all on casinos and strippers and vacations. The idea of only separate funds for him is what rankles me.
When paying our lone credit card that we use for household expenses occasionally, I saw three charges to Casey's. This usually means GAS. Unless we order pizza there, which we haven't in several months.
"Hey! I see three charges to Casey's on this credit card bill. I didn't know we were paying for your gas. That's why we have our weekly cash allowances."
"I don't charge my gas to us, HM! I drive my truck all the time doing things for us and don't charge the gas. Them was when we went to the casino. In the Acadia. And when I went to the doctor. And for lawnmower gas."
"In SPARTA, ILLINOIS???"
"What? Oh. Um. I forgot to put gas in my truck before I went to Illinois. So I had to get some there."
Sure. And he had to use the credit card? Instead of the cash he always carries around? I'm not buying it. Farmer H knew exactly what he was doing. Scamming gas out of OUR money, on a trip to buy stuff for his business. I guess he doesn't know that the location of the Casey's comes up on the bill.
"Well, YOU owe US $45.85 for gas."
Am I being petty? Probably. But if a man has his own money from his business and side jobs, I think he should use it for expenses related to his business and side jobs.
Just a little FYI, gas in Illinois is usually more expensive than MO. I think it's because of how it's taxed.
ReplyDeleteAngie,
DeleteI can believe that. I think Farmer H would have charged it to our credit card no matter what the price. He'd rather use the card than go in to pre-pay with cash like I do. Still, if it was only for convenience, he could have told me that he owes us for his gas he charged. He's done that with other stuff he buys for his handyman work. He just thought he was getting away with it, because he didn't know the location would show up!
I don't think you are being petty, and also agree that if HE has money that is only HIS, then you can do the same. Cut off his supply trail to the money your mother bequeathed you. A friend and his wife both had their own bank accounts from before they married and kept things that way now they are getting divorced there is all kinds of financial troubles brewing. HE paid for many upgrades on their home while SHE never aid a cent and now SHE wants the house but doesn't want to pay for it. SHE never contributed to holidays either, HE paid all expenses there too.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
DeleteThat's the deal. Either both of us should have our own money, or neither of us should. I know Farmer H is a hard worker. But he had nothing but debt when I married him, due to divorce. I worked, too. Not my fault a building maintenance manager was paid twice what a teacher was paid! Plus I had the kids to take care of 24/7, too.
My inheritance money is in a CD, earning great interest. It's not like we're living off of it. My mom didn't scrimp her whole life, keeping her heat and air conditioning at levels which were torture to me, to preserve her "fortune" to give to Farmer H! The fact that he calls it OURS is what bothers me, with him saying the store and apartments money is HIS.