One Down, Three To Go

A while back, I bemoaned the fact that I have been unable to find certain items in the new 10Box store that replaced Country Mart. Let the record show that on Monday, I found

MICROWAVE POPCORN!

Was it on the chip aisle, where I might have overlooked it? Nope! It was on the BREAD AISLE! Funny how I have been down the bread aisle several times, yet not actively seeking microwave popcorn there. So it went unnoticed by logical Mrs. HM. 

I was actually planning to ask the cashier, for future reference, when I walked by on the main front aisle, and happened to glance over at the bread aisle. That's because I originally thought I was going to get bread, but of course that's where three employees were congregating while one put bread loaves on the shelf from a big metal cart. I had decided we could go without a new loaf, and was just looking to see if the triumvirate had disassembled, when the bright orange of the Blast O' Butter popcorn box caught my eye. Yay, me!

Anyhoo... now I only have to discover where they're keeping the canned potatoes, Puffs With Lotion, and baby corns.

I might not even look for the potatoes, because on Tuesday, I'm making a pot of vegetable beef soup, and using frozen cubed hash brown potatoes. For once, Mrs. HM is able to think outside the can...

Santa Needs A New Pair Of Shoes

Farmer H is in demand during the holiday season. He's a Santa's helper for an early childhood program. He used to only don his gay apparel for the Parents As Teachers program, and an occasional daycare. He has been down to the one "client" for years, but got a call from one of her acquaintances last week requesting his (free) services.

"I don't mind to do it. I can't give out little presents to the other one, but I can show up and talk to the kids and hand out what she wants me to. I need to get a new pair of black boots. I can't bend my ankles to fit into my old ones. I want shiny black boots. Not the dull rubber ones."

Farmer H went to Tractor Supply on Sunday. I suppose he found what he wanted, since he gave me a receipt for $37.34 for "BOOT LDS WORK BU 10." Not sure exactly what that means...

Santa is a hick! He can use those boots during the off-season, for mucking out the reindeer stalls.

The Pony Goes With The Flow

The Pony has been dealing with the heavy load of mail after the Thanksgiving holiday. Some because the workers had a day off, and some because it's been Black Friday Week, with businesses offering early deals online. AND Cyber Monday is coming...

Anyhoo... The Pony has had some overtime. He clocked out at 6:00 on Saturday evening. Then saw something as he was leaving that might complicate matters even more.

"Water main break right between the post office and the library."

"I might have been the first to report it. Or, well, to tell the manager to, since I don't have the number."

I think that's one of their mail delivery trucks backed up at the loading dock. Not sure if this break will require the water to be shut off. That might be a problem for the bathrooms, and of course for the drinking water. Not sure if this will affect The Pony's house a few blocks away. That last break affected the post office, but not The Pony.

Still Living In A Man's World

Farmer H was kind of on his best behavior for Thanksgiving. However... he's still a man, living in a man's world. You know, that entitled world where other people, 99 percent of them being women, do things for you that you don't want to do, because it's beneath your station.

The Pony and I were still chatting and chowing down on our main courses when Farmer H finished and was ready for the first of his three desserts. He got up from the table and walked around the counter to get it out of FRIG II. But not before first shoving his empty plate and salad bowl down the table, to his left, and out of his way for dessert-feasting. Because, you know, carrying his empty plate and bowl to put beside the sink, or even setting them on that kitchen counter an arm's reach away, would have been a chore much too tedious for a MAN.

I was having none of that! As Farmer H got up to fetch his second dessert, I called him out.

"Uh. Why are you leaving your dirty dishes on the table for ME to fetch later? There's nothing wrong with your arms. Take them to the sink."

Farmer H grunted, which is his manner of showing how displeased he is with picking up after himself. But he took his plate to where it was supposed to rest and wait for me to wash it. Saving me (but more likely The Pony) the effort of transporting it.

For our supper of leftovers Friday night, I warmed the pan of roasted vegetables on the stove. I had the slotted spoon I'd been stirring it with laying on a paper plate next to it. Farmer H's plate had been set out on the cutting block, along with all silverware he might need. But he was in charge of getting the foods out of FRIG II to spoon out his portions, and warm in the microwave.

I was back at the kitchen table, out of his way, when Farmer H came to heat his meal. I turned to look just as he was up to something shady. He had placed his plate in the microwave, full of ham, hash brown casserole, and rolls. He closed the microwave door, and reached for the slotted spoon.

"Wait! What are you doing? Cover your plate so it doesn't spatter all over the microwave!"

"I was going to..."

"But you already closed the door. And you're holding the spoon for the vegetables."

"Well. I was going to use the plate you have the spoon on to cover my food."

"What then? Lay the greasy spoon on my counter, so I'll have to clean it?"

"No."

"So you were just going to hold the spoon until the microwave was done? I don't believe you. You just didn't want to lean over two feet and get another paper plate out of the holder."

"Whatever..."

Uh huh. Caught red-handed and one-paper-plated! Either way, he would have been making more cleanup work for me, whether it was microwave or counter. 

I really don't know how Farmer H's mind works. Other than overtime to make my life harder.

Mrs. HM Is Foiled Again By The Pony

I was lucky to have The Pony to help me during the last hour of Thanksgiving Dinner preparations. I had most things ready to go, due to prepping them on Wednesday. So they just needed to be slid into the oven, except for the 7 Layer Salad, which took two hours. 

I made sure to set out the Kerrygold butter so it would be warm enough to spread. I bought the big block, which fit on my butter dish on its side, but was twice as tall as it should be for the lid to fit. That didn't matter. I figured I'd wrap up what was left in the original gold foil wrapper. I folded its sides in, so as not to get butter on anything, and set that wrapper over on the counter by the stove, on top of the bag of onions that I keep there.

The Pony got everything else warmed up and set out, while I directed him from a comfortable sitting position at the kitchen table.

As we were finishing up the meal, I commented that I wished people had sliced their butter along the top of that block, rather than straight down, on the end.

"Then the lid to the butter dish would have fit on it. But that's okay. I'll just wrap it back up like I planned, if you can get me the wrapper."

"Um. What do you mean?"

"I put it over there on the counter."

"Wait! You wanted to save that? I threw it away."

"PONY!"

"I can get it out of the trash for you. It's on top."

"No! I'm not George Costanza eating an eclair off a doily on top of a magazine in his girlfriend's wastebasket." That reference was lost on The Pony, who was never a Seinfeld fan. But Genius would have caught on in an instant. Here's a 43 second clip on YouTube.  

"I thought it was trash! It was on the onions!"

"Did you throw away the onions? No. Why would I carry it AWAY from the wastebasket to put on the counter if it was trash?"

Anyhoo... I sliced the butter chunk horizontally, so it was short enough to have the cover on the dish. We had eaten enough that the two sections just fit, end to end. 

And The Pony reminded me:  "I did the same thing last year..."

Mrs. HM Is One Of THOSE People

The people who go to the grocery store on Thanksgiving Eve! I am one. At least I wasn't buying my whole Thanksgiving meal shopping list, like a few of them I saw. The parking lot of 10 Box was about 1/3 full. Unfortunately, my favorite parking spaces were occupied. So I parked next to a cart return. That's so nobody could close-park and block T-Hoe's door, and so I could wheel in a cart/walker.

Oh, no! An employee was coming to gather the carts! NOOOO!

"Hey! Could you leave one of those, and I will take it in?"

"Sure can."

"Thank you!"

Not only did she leave it, she took it out of its metal cage, and parked it beside T-Hoe where I could just walk back and start pushing. Their employees are really nice!

My mission was to get bananas, because we ran out Wednesday morning. And black olives, because I had wanted to make myself nachos on Tuesday night, but no black olives could be found in my pantry. I also enjoy black olives with my Thanksgiving meal, whether it be ham, which Farmer H requested, or turkey. I also picked up a bottle of vegetable oil, 2 lbs of Great Northern Beans, and four boxes of corn muffin mix. Guess who's having beans next week with the hambone?

I had to wait in line behind two gals with a full cart. Of course it was two separate orders. And they had their phone app coupons. One of them bought a CASE of green beans! And some of those crunchy fried onions that Farmer H just decided he liked. I'm pretty sure she was the designated green bean casserole bringer, since she also had a can of Cream of Mushroom Soup.

Anyhoo... the first gal would not move forward to start bagging, so I couldn't get to the conveyor to set out my stuff. Then they left the cart between them, rather than pushing it to the end of the conveyor by the bags. I had another gal on my heels, waiting to buy her full cart of Thanksgiving meal.

Other than that, the last-minute shopping wasn't too bad. And I won $50 on a $10 scratcher out of their left lottery machine. So life is good.

This Is What Happens When You Leave The Inmate Roaming Freely About The Asylum

Perhaps you recall that I have been troubled by a cloggy sink for about the past three months. It has been mentioned numerous times to Farmer H. Who has reacted with the same sense of urgency he displays when I tell him T-Hoe is making a noise, or has low tires, or a dead headlight. I took matters into my own hands on Friday, and bought some Drano.

I have been planning my schedule around preparing Thanksgiving Dinner. On Tuesday afternoon, I was going to use that Drano to unclog my sink. The bottle has been sitting on the cutting block for five days. I figured that after I got back from town, and before Farmer H got home Tuesday evening, I would use that Drano. It has to sit for 30 minutes, and then be flushed down the drain with hot water. Well. That's a problem in my sink, since it has to run about 5 minutes until the water is hot. So I thought I'd get out my big chili/soup/ham and beans/egg-boiling pot, fill it with water, get it to boiling while the Drano was sitting, and then pour it down the sink. Easy peasy.

Of course Farmer H had to alter his schedule on Tuesday. Came home at 1:00! I hadn't even showered for town yet. As I was leaving the Mansion at 2:00, hurrying to get to the bank before it closed, Farmer H said,

"I figured while you was gone, I'd unclog your sink."

"NOW? Of all the times you could have done it? Are you using the Drano?"

"No."

"How are you unclogging it?"

"I'll get it done."

"DO NOT USE THE TOILET PLUNGER!"

"I'll get it done."

"Stop saying that! I'm going to be cooking and washing dishes and really busy. I don't want to have to clean the sink before I can do that."

"I'll get it done."

"I DO NOT want a poopy plunger in my kitchen sink! And what about my clean dishes in drainer in the other sink? What are you going to do with them?"

"I'll take care of them, HM."

Of course the whole time I was in town, I was worried about what Farmer H was doing. That's just like him, to ignore the problem for three months, then decide to fix it when it's the least convenient time for me.

When I got home, the sink LOOKED like he'd done something to it. My clean dishes were still sitting in the drainer. There was one large blue plastic cup sitting on the side where I put the dirty dishes. When Farmer H came back in the Mansion from burning cardboard boxes by the BARn, he turned on the water in the sink as I sat at the kitchen table.

"There."

"I don't know what you're doing. The water has always worked. I can't see down into the sink."

Farmer H let it run. Stuck his hand in the stream. "There. It's hot now. And the water didn't back up."

"If you say so. I can't see it. Did you use the plunger?"

"Nope."

"Well, did you use the Drano?"

"Nope."

"What did you use?"

"Vinegar."

"Sure. You just poured vinegar down the drain, and it cleared?"

"I plunged it with this cup here."

"How in the world did you do that?"

"I ran some water in the sink, and then used the cup to push it down."

"Where did you get the vinegar?"

"Under the sink."

"That's MY vinegar! That I used to clean the hard water stains out of my water bottle and Bubba cups. and on the pans when they get discolored."

"Not the little bit in the front. A whole gallon in the back."

"That's what I use to fill the little jug. So I can lift it. You and Pony always had your own gallons of vinegar, for running through the jets of the big triangle tub in the master bathroom. But you had to use mine. Now I'll have to get more."

"I'LL GET MORE VINEGAR!"

Sure. In about three months...

Funny how the Mansion did not smell a bit like vinegar. That's usually very obvious. I hope I've not been bamboozled.