In His Typical Unpredictable Fashion

A while back, we got a new water heater when Farmer H bought a big order of stuff at Lowe's for the elderly apartments. He paid our share, but it gave him enough for the discount, to save money for the apartments as well.

That water heater has been sitting in our basement, next to the old water heater. Which has been working fine in my opinion, but I don't go down in the basement workshop. Farmer H said it has been leaking. Thus the need for a new one. And the fact that this one is probably 15-20 years old, and has been cleaned out numerous times due to mineral deposits that clog up in the bottom.

Anyhoo... Farmer H had planned to get the new water heater installed shortly after buying it. But he was busy with the apartments, then Old Buddy got sick, then we had a bunch of rain that made driving SilverRedO through the yard not a good idea for removing the old water heater.

Tuesday morning, Farmer H said he would be bringing HOS home with him in the afternoon, to help install the new water heater. He didn't say as much, but I figured that meant the water would be turned off for a while, and then there would be a lag for hot water while the icy well water was heated in the new water heater. Accordingly, I took my shower three hours early, and left for town.

When I got home, Farmer H was out on his blue tractor in front of the neighbors' house. The blue tractor now with new hydraulics and two new front tires. He was trying to fill in some dirt along the edge of the gravel road where a deep ditch has washed out. Somebody has to do it!

Anyhoo... Farmer H barely got his tractor off the other side of the road so I could pass by. I almost had to get off in that still-deep ditch. Farmer H said that he could not pick up HOS, because HOS had another chore. That meant my early shower was in vain.

Wednesday around 1:00, Farmer H called me.

"I'm bringing home HOS so we can put in the water heater. What time do you take your shower?"

"I took it early yesterday! Because I thought you were putting in the water heater. I usually have it around 2:00 or 3:00. I can skip it today. I doubt the water will be ready. And you won't want to wait that long to put it in."

Exactly. Farmer H didn't want to wait. If he had revealed this new plan at 6:00 a.m. before going to town, I could have again taken an early shower. But no. Why would he do THAT?

Farmer H was here at 1:30. He left at 3:00 to take HOS back home. I am unshowered, but since I don't get all that dirty sitting on the couch and innernetting at the kitchen table, I don't think I will offend anybody by missing a shower. It's not worth rearranging my regular schedule to have one later. I am a creature of routine.

Hopefully, the water will be nice and hot later when I want to rinse out the supper dishes.

Pepper Teaches Himself A Trick

At four months old, puppy Pepper is developing a personality. He's rambunctious in the way of the young, always excited and happy to see us when we go outside. He leaps and prances, then tucks in behind us as we walk. It must be the heeler part of him. I don't recall our other pups doing this, though Jack and Juno (the lab/border collie mix) did this in adulthood, each of them sometimes poking my leg with a nose to steer me.

Anyhoo... Pepper is good about not jumping ON us. He learned that quickly with just a sharp NO! He will hop on his hind legs, but not make contact. 

Pepper knows that I bring a little treat as I leave for town. Lately it has been a bite-size piece of stale English Muffin dipped in the juices left from the Easter roasted vegetables with bacon. I'm sure Pepper can smell it. But he also looks at my hands, to see if I am carrying his treat.

Jack knows to go stand on the side porch and wait. That's where I distribute the leaving treats. Pepper seems to hope I'll drop it early. Even though I give him a (soothing) Farmer H style lecture on the way. "Pepper. You know you don't get a treat until I'm at the top of the steps. Just wait."

Today, Pepper was hopping on his hind legs, in front of me as I reached the steps and turned to toss the treats. He BARKED at me! Just once. As when you teach a dog to wait for a treat, and say, "Speak." It was coincidental timing.

Heh, heh. Pepper has taught himself a trick. He might be a genius. I'm sure he thinks he has ME trained to drop a treat when he barks.

A Round Of Good Luck At The GSCS

You may recall that I buy lottery tickets every day at the Gas Station Chicken Store. It's always been pretty lucky for me, though I do go through losing streaks, no matter where I buy tickets. 

My favorite cashier, Fave, works Thursday-Sunday. I think she's luckier for me than the others. As a token of appreciation, I give her a few scratchers every week, bought elsewhere, in an envelope. I don't expect any special "favors" from Fave. Just her handing me my tickets, infused with her luck. If I have a good week there, I give extra tickets. 

On Friday, I came in waiting to hear if Fave had won anything on those tickets I had given the day before.

"Oh, I FORGOT my tickets!"

"What? Oh, no! Were they still here?"

"Oh, I didn't forget them here. They were in a pouch in my car. I called and had my son go see if they were in there, and they were. So I'll scratch them tonight."

"That's a relief! I hope you win something this week!" Because last week, Fave won nothing! Even though I had put in a couple extra.

On Saturday, Fave was excited to tell me...

"I had a $75 winner on my crossword ticket! The back of it had SL on it. And I won $5 on another one, and $3 on the three-dollar crossword. So I won $83 this week! Also, I gave two tickets to my son to scratch. So I'll know about them tomorrow."

Which turned out to be a couple winners, so Fave won $91 this week! I was really happy for her. That's why I give her the tickets. I don't expect to be giving her losers, heh, heh.

"Well, I've been having a decent week wherever I buy. That SL means it was from Save A Lot over here, from their machine. I'm happy you got some of MY luck!"

When I bought my scratchers from Fave on Sunday, I saw that the two crosswords were 054 and 055. Not my favorite numbers on the roll, which only goes up to 059. But I won't go without crosswords just because I think the good tickets have probably already been bought out of the roll. Any number can win. Which I found out Sunday evening:

I didn't win anything at the top. I only had two words, which win nothing. But at the bottom, on the bonus words, I had a winner. That's $250!!! Not at all what I was expecting. Usually I get $5 down there, or maybe $10/15/25. I was totally surprised! Farmer H had already gone to bed, so I couldn't even gloat until the next morning!

I'll wait and cash that in on Thursday, so Fave can do it, and see what she sold me. She'll get a couple extra tickets this week.

In Sickness And In Wealth

This past week was good for Mrs. HM in the financial department. We sold the Bargain House flip (competely!), and scratcher luck was good. I'm at three consecutive days with winnings over $100. There are no BIG winners, except the $100 on a $3 crossword. But I've had a couple $50s and $25s and $15s. They all add up!

I should be dancing a jig with excitement. I'm not. I don't feel well. I blame it on Farmer H (you knew that was coming, right?), who has been waltzing around the Mansion for three weeks now, spewing his coughed and sneezed germs like Johnny Appleseed on a mission.

Wednesday, the day we had our closing on Bargain House, I was not really sick, but not really normal. My joints were extra hurty. On Monday and Tuesday, I'd had bad bouts of dizziness. Lying on my back in the master bedroom, I felt like I was in Willy Wonka's factory, spinning faster and faster, but without the delicious sugary ingredients. I figured it was just water in my ear from the shower the other day. That it was shifting around, depending on how I held my head. Or something with my sinuses, since I also had a dull headache at the back of my skull.

Thursday, I woke up with some hoarseness and throat-clearing. Through the day, my nose dripped a little bit. That's when I realized I'd caught FarmerHitis. You wouldn't think he'd still be contagious after so long having not-pneumonia. Which he'd had for a couple days, when his NP called on April 6 about his x-rays where she suspected early pneumonia. Which it turned out not to be.

Anyhoo... everything is going great, but I don't feel well enough to gloat! I have that burning feeling down between my throat and chest. You know, how it burns when you cough. It's getting a little better, but today my eyes don't want to stay open. I think they're dry because I'm dehydrated, or haven't been sleeping enough. They're not gunky or red to suggest conjunctivitis. I'm not enjoying innernetting, and the thought of going to town if the day remains sunny is off-putting.

I MUST get to town today, though. Because on Monday, supposedly we're getting the worst storm of the year, with risk of tornadoes between 5:00 and 7:00, starting around 3:00. The TV meteorologist gal said that she's usually home in her slippers then, but she plans to wear her SHOES! Doesn't that strike fear into the listeners??? Of course, she's just the Sunday morning meteorologist. Anyhoo... I need to get scratchers for today AND tomorrow. I don't want to risk my streak cooling off. That happens soon enough.

I told The Pony to be ready to run sit in the furnace closet if the weather gets bad. Not to just fall asleep early and be oblivious when lifted up in a twister! There's room in that closet to put a kitchen chair. So no hardship. It's the most interior sturdy room in The Pony's house. I know I can't make it to the basement of the Mansion, to our safe room. I guess I'll depend on the laundry room if the storm tracks from the west, as shown on simulations. Or the boys' bathroom, if it comes from the southwest.

I hope we don't lose electricity. But if we do, you'll know why I'm not around.

To Pay Or Not To Pay

Mrs. HM is faced with a conundrum. Something that should be so simple, yet requires reflection. Even Farmer H was stumped.

We received the first water bill for our newest flip, Lap House. We bought it March 19. Farmer H went by the city offices to turn on the water, and was told there would be a $150 deposit. Not a problem. The other city where the previous flip houses were located also charged a $150 deposit. After they sold, we've (eventually) gotten that deposit back.

A water bill is usually simple to pay. Your statement has a return stub. You see your meter reading and the itemized charges. Then the amount due, and the due date.

This bill is wonky.

Oh, it seems easy enough. We owe $19.45 for water usage. Then it showed a credit balance. That seems to be the $150 deposit, minus the current charges. I can't show the return stub, because it has a barcode, and our identifying information on it. But it does not show the $19.45. In a space labeled Credit Balance, it shows $130.55-. Then there's a blank to write in Amount Paid.

I assume I should just mail a check for $19.45. OR SHOULD I? Will they just subtract what's due each month until the credit for the deposit is used up? That seems like it would be more of a thing for the FINAL BILL. To take out the current charges, then return the balance. That way, the city has their money, no worries about somebody skipping out on the bill.

The Pony lives in this town. And was no help during my consultation. 

"I pay mine online. I have it automatically deducted. I DO know the city recently updated their billing software. Mine even looks different online now. Let me look it up. I don't have any credit balance on mine. I don't remember if I ever paid a deposit to get started. Dad might have done that the month I moved in, getting the water turned on at the last minute, after he'd re-done the plumbing."

I don't remember paying a deposit there. I think when Hick called me after turning on the water at Lap House, he was kind of mad about paying a deposit. Which must mean he didn't have to pay one before.

The Pony thinks since it only says I have a credit on the return stub, that I don't need to pay it until after the deposit is used up. I think I should pay it each month as it's due, and it will continue to have the $150 deposit credit on our account. Otherwise, on the month it runs out of the deposit money, it will look like we're in arrears on our payment. The city might cut service, and charge another deposit or fee to turn on the water again.

I'm leaning towards just sending that $19.45 check. It's the easiest way for my records.

Rules For He, But Not For Me

Have I ever mentioned that a certain person living here in the Mansion cannot follow a simple instruction? Or exhibit common sense? I'm NOT talking about myself!

CASE 1 

Last week when Farmer H got home, I told him as he entered the kitchen door:

"There are a few bags on the back seat to carry in. And you need to bring in a couple of your sodas, because you're out."

Farmer H dutifully went out to the garage to fetch the items. It seemed to be taking a long time, just to pick up bags off the back seat of T-Hoe, and soda from the floor in front of the seat. He finally came in, but I was innernetting on HIPPIE, and didn't question the timing. He had all the bags, and put two six-packs of Diet Mountain Dew under the chair by the kitchen door where he keeps it until it goes in FRIG II.

A couple days later I went to 10Box. I got a couple 12-packs of my Shasta Zero Sugar Cola, and put them in T-Hoe's rear. It looked like Farmer H was running out of his soda again. Only four packs, when I thought there was more. I put my cold groceries on the back seat, so I could grab them to carry inside. And there were FOUR six-packs of Diet Mountain Dew on the floor by the back seat! Taking up room where I could put bags of canned goods, or heavier stuff that would crush my other items on the seat.

This meant that when Farmer H went out to get my groceries off the back seat, he had taken time to open the garage door, go to open T-Hoe's rear, get out his soda, close T-Hoe's rear, close the garage door, and get the bags off the back seat. No wonder it took him so long!

CASE 2

At Easter, we used Kerrygold butter in stick form, on my mom's crystal butter dish. We let it set out at room temperature on the cutting block until we finish that stick, so it's soft. Farmer H had been buttering Hawaiian Rolls to have with his chicken and dumplings this week. I set out his plate and utensils and the rolls, and move the butter dish out beside them. He butters, then puts the lid back on the butter dish and moves it over to the edge out of the way.

Thursday morning, I stood at the cutting block putting ice cubes in my water bottle, and saw the butter dish looking empty! It WAS! Yet Farmer H had put it right back where we keep the warm butter, as if it was still usable, rather than putting the empty butter dish beside the sink. ONLY A STEP AWAY!

CASE 3

This morning at 5:50, Farmer H asked if I had laid out the check he needs for Mick the Mechanic, to pay for two tractor tires.

"Oh! No, I forgot. Bring my purse from the chair by the kitchen table."

Farmer H brought my purse. I got out a check for him.

"Just set it on the table. I'll put it back on the chair when I come in."

That's because I kind of balance it on the corner of a box on that chair, which holds the paid bills and statements for the flip houses. I didn't want my purse to fall off and dump everything.

When I came to the kitchen table later, I saw my purse balanced precariously on one edge of that box, and smashing down the flip house paperwork. It was turned around backwards as well, not where I can reach into it to get the checkbook register, or my winning scratchers to see what I might cash in that day.

I don't know why Farmer H seems to deliberately make everything harder than it needs to be. I flat-out tell him how to do something, and he ignores it. He ignores me when I try to help him, and he makes more work for me when he "thinks" he's helping.

Oh, and that check he wanted? Farmer H had told me the evening before, when he came home. But I am fighting a cold that I'm sure I got from his presumed pneumonia sickness that he is just now about to get over. I can't be expected to remember to tear out a check after he's gone to bed, when I'm busy blowing my nose and coughing up phlegm. So I'm excused for that little oversight...

Four Month Old Puppy Bests Valedictorian

I'm not proud. It seems that puppy Pepper has more smarts than Mrs. HM. 

Wednesday, I was coming home after our real estate closing on Bargain House. I had stopped by 10Box to pick up some big fat hot dogs that Farmer H wanted for grilling. Hot dogs, buns, waffle fries, bananas, baked beans, and some Drumsticks. Farmer H was in town moving furniture, so I had to carry the groceries in myself. 

The hot dogs were in a 20-pack, the only way I could buy the big fat kind, unless I wanted to pay $15.99 for 12 all-beef, rather than the 20 of questionable ingredients for $10.99. This pack weighed five pounds. The ten bananas felt of equal weight. Anyhoo... I had several bags draped on my arm, plus my purse, and the metal water bottle clutched in my fingers by the loop in the plastic top.

You might not think that sounds like a lot of weight to carry, but my knees let me know. I set the bananas and hot dogs on the metal chair on the side porch. No need to climb the steps with that extra weight. I also set down my water bottle right in front of me, to get the bags off my arm.

Pepper was frolicking on the side porch. He's learned not to nip at the grocery bags. He's allowed a sniff, but no mouthing. I don't think he was ever trying to eat the groceries. They were just something new to chew on, which could have turned into a surprise treat. After several trips and admonishments of "PEPPER! NO!" he has learned to leave the groceries alone.

I have not taken my water bottle with me since we got Pepper. My trips are usually short. But the signing for the house was over in Bill-Paying Town, and I knew I'd be going in the store and getting scratchers later, so I took it. I only meant to set it down momentarily while juggling the grocery bags, then pick it up again to ascend the steps.

Pepper ran over and was right away interested in that water bottle.

"PEPPER! NO!"

He'd shy away, then come back. In all, I commanded Pepper five times! On the last one, he got his mouth on my water spout. Which earned him a swat on his hip/rumpus. He darted away, looking surprised. I picked up my water bottle, giving Pepper a lecture in the style of Farmer H, reminding myself to wash the spout when I got inside. I know my words did not enlighten Pepper at all, but the tone had him looking at me quizzically. I could see his little mind working.

Once inside, I put Farmer H's drumsticks in the mini freezer in the laundry room, and the waffle fries in FRIG II's freezer. Got the buns put away, and the beans and bananas. It was a hot day, and I was thirsty. Before putting my water bottle in FRIG II to cool off before I started my ticket-scratching session, I took a swig.

Immediately, I remembered that Pepper's butt-licking tongue had been on it!

YUCK!!!

I unscrewed the top and washed it, but it was too late to put that germy genie back in the bottle. I don't know if I'll catch some horrible disease, but by evening I was coming down with something. I suspect it's Farmer H's once-presumed pneumonia cold. Not a dog malady.

When I went out the next day, I taunted the frolicking Pepper with:

"You're getting your balls cut off next month!"

Pepper did not reply.