Now All The Baby Steps Are Going Backwards

Just when I thought I was making some progress in training Farmer H to be kitchen-efficient... he has had a major relapse!

We had Casey's Pizza for supper on Friday, with leftovers for two more days. Farmer H usually warms his leftover pizza in the microwave. I prefer mine in the oven. Makes it seem like it just came out of... um... an OVEN, heh, heh! One evening Farmer H had come home late from an auction, while I was getting my own supper ready, and I offered to put his pizza in the oven with mine. Well. That was certainly a mistake! Because he saw the difference.

Anyhoo... there are two parts to this tale. Two major steps backwards in the training of Farmer H.

Friday evening, he came in carrying the pizzas. Set the boxes on the cutting block, taking up all the room there, when I've told him for years to set them on the stove. Farmer H went out to check on Lucky. To pet him and give him some "treats" from a baggie of ham chunks I had set on the counter for that purpose. I moved the pizzas over to the stove, where the cardboard boxes could "breathe" a little sitting over the burner coils, and not sweat from sitting on flat wood of the cutting block.

Farmer H came back in, and went straight to his pizza. He got his own plate. I had already torn off a paper towel for him, not wanting him to hold onto the top of the roll with his wet dirty hands after washing them. Well! Farmer H fooled ME! He didn't wash his hands! As he was walking into the living room with his plate, I called after him:

"THIS is why I don't want you putting your hands in food I'm going to eat! You were petting that dog, and handing out old ham, and didn't wash your hands before you touched your pizza!"

"Huh. My hands are clean enough."

Not even the common sense to be ashamed!

Anyhoo... On Saturday evening, I was already sitting at the table with my scratchers when Farmer H came home. He was puttering around, wet from the downpour, going out to check on Lucky. I figured he would warm his own pizza when he was ready. But I just had to ask...

"So, you're going to microwave your pizza when you come back?"

"Well... unless you want to warm it in the oven."

"I don't really want to, because I just sat down with my tickets. It's not hard. Even you could do it! 350 degrees, for 10 minutes."

"But I don't know how."

Sweet Gummi Mary! It's not like he was performing brain surgery! Or re-wiring a house. Or cutting off a MACK truck trailer, adding hydraulics, and turning it into a dump truck. It was just turning on an oven, putting pizza on a pan, putting the pan in the oven, and setting a timer for 10 minutes!

Of course that was beyond the capabilities of Farmer H. So I did it while he was outside. Let the record show that he did NOT wash his hands when he returned. Maybe the rain cleaned them a little.

Bamboozled By The Brewing Storm

Rain was in the forecast for Saturday. I knew that, because I saw several weekend events that had been postponed, or moved to an inside venue. It doesn't seem like a "ghost walk" would be nearly as much fun, even if it was held inside a building in a neighboring town called "heritage hall." I felt bad for the organizers of that event.

Anyhoo... in planning my trip to town, I consulted the weather radar of a news station. At first I was thwarted by a random hiccup of HIPPIE, who refused to connect me to the internet. Everything had been just fine for the first half hour I was on. Then the connection stopped. The weather was fine at the time. Bright and sunny. Of course I had also been planning to pay the gas bill for our Bargain House flip property online. Seems like I'm always inconvenienced when there's something important I need from HIPPIE.

Anyhoo... despite my efforts of restarting, shut down and start-up, tinkering with HIPPIE's innards including wi-fi and troubleshooters, and trying a different browser... nothing would let me connect. More infuriating, HIPPIE declared that I HAD an internet connection! No problems found.

After about 50 minutes, HIPPIE became compliant again. Nothing I did. Simply worked like normal when I tried a website. By now, my time was running short for getting two blog posts typed up, and checking the weather. So I tabled the bill-pay for the next day. It's not due until the 28th. Takes me 15-20 minutes by the time I get into the site, make the payment, record it, document The Pony's portion for tax records and reimbursement, and then file it with the Bargain House bills. I don't like to feel rushed, and I'd rather have my blog posts done before leaving for town.

I finally got the weather radar map loaded, and checked the futurecast. Indeed, the storms were coming. Even if I left home before showering, it would put me in a hot spot. So I looked for a window of just light green (light rain) across my section of that map. Aha! There it was. I could have about an hour before the next dark red wave entered Hillmomba. I had time to type up two blog posts, take my daily  20-minute nap, shower, and drive to town.

The storm came in waves, as I knew it would from the radar. When I left, there was just a light sprinkle falling on T-Hoe. As I approached town, there was a black cloud. I expected it. The weather was supposed to be passing north, before the next wave hit. I should be safely home by then.

WELL! That radar map, along with its cohorts, the lying meteorologists, had betrayed me! I went into the Gas Station Chicken Store without incident. No rain at all. I went across the street to the Liquor Store. No rain at all. Only one stop left, the Casey's.

With it being Saturday evening, people were buying their party supplies. I was lucky to be fourth in line. The three ahead of me were buying alcohol and vapes. Two were together. The next gal was with them but making her own purchase. She paid with cash. I stepped up. The cashier was a new girl. Really slow, but at least polite. I was almost tapping my toes, because it was taking SO LONG. It looked like she scanned my three winners and printed out the tickets separately, rather than with just the total winnings on one ticket. Somebody needs to show her how to do that!

Anyhoo... I heard thunder. I looked outside, and it looked like NIGHT! Car lights were on. That dashed my hopes that it was just tinted glass, even though I go there frequently and know it's regular glass. Lightning flashed! A second or two later, more thunder. Dang! This gal was taking so long!

It was indeed very dark as I went back to T-Hoe. A big dark cloud coming from the south. I went back across the street to Casey's. My rightful handicap space was open. As I turned off T-Hoe, rain began to fall. BIG drops. I got out and hobbled to the door, the rain falling heavier with each step. I looked like a drowned rat by the time I got the door open. I could hear the rain on the roof.

"Wow. It's really coming down!" said the young guy, one of the newest cashiers.

"I know! If only I had been here five minutes earlier! I'd like to cash in these winners, and get more tickets."

Young Guy took them, and turned to the terminal where they scan the winners. "Oh. The system is down. I can't scan them."

"Okay. But you can still sell tickets, right? For cash? So I can buy new tickets."

"No. It's all down because of the weather. I can't scan them."

"Really? You can't scan the price?"

"No. Sorry."

"Well, the weather is not YOUR fault! I just wish I could have been here a few minutes earlier. Now I have to go back out in that!"

[Here's my deal. When the Gas Station Chicken Store's lottery terminal is down, they can still sell tickets. That's at the cash register, same way they do it at Casey's. They just scan the PRICE section of the ticket, with the scanner they use on all their merchandise. It rings up just fine. It's separate from the lottery terminal where they print out draw tickets, and scan for winners. They can't sell DRAW tickets when it's down, but they can sell scratchers. So maybe this guy just didn't know. I seriously doubt that it works differently for Casey's.]

Indeed, it was black as night, rain slamming down. By the time I got to T-Hoe, I was as wet as a drowned rat that had been trapped under a log for 24 hours, floating down the Mississippi! Wetter than when I got out of the shower! I had to drive home with T-Hoe's windshield wipers on maximum speed, at about 25 mph, though it seemed much faster. According to my pre-planning, I should have still had 30 minutes of my "light rain" window left.

Of course you guessed it. By the time I got to the Mansion driveway, the sky had lightened, and the rain was just a sprinkle again. I didn't see Lucky at the end of his lead. So I figured he was in his dog house. I had made sure Farmer H allowed him enough cable. I had asked the night before, when I knew it was going to rain. He assured me it would reach.

Little Jack came out to T-Hoe, and went in the big garage door when I opened it. Jack was dry, so I figured he had been on the porch. It had obviously rained just as hard here, because the roads were running with water headed for the creek.

Farmer H got home about an hour later. He was dripping. Said it had poured on him all the way home from his SUS2.5. 

"I'm going out to check on Lucky. To make sure he can get to his house. He's standing out there in the rain."

"You told me he could! So you didn' even check? But I think Lucky is fine, because I didn't see him when I came home."

Farmer H took lucky a piece of bread and some ham chunks. Said he COULD reach his house, but was still standing outside. Of course! Lucky has learned how to make Farmer H come over and interact with him, heh, heh!

Anyhoo... it's bright and sunny this afternoon. But with winds gusting to 31 mph. I'm still planning on going to town. Just as soon as I pay the gas bill online...

A Harness Was Not The Solution

After the altercation between new dog Lucky, and my little Jack (the instigator), with Farmer H caught in the middle... all parties retired to their respective corners. Farmer H came into the Mansion for first aid for his bite/scratch. Lucky was left on the lead with his collar. Jack disappeared.

As I left for town, Jack came around the corner of the garage. I didn't see any bleeding on him. He was moving slower than usual, and seemed subdued. I hope it was just embarrassment from his recent thrashing, and not an internal injury. 

Farmer H later told me that he went back to put the harness on Lucky, on his way to the BARn. Jack came running, and Farmer H stuffed him into the pet carrier that had brought Lucky home. Then he put on the harness, which fit just fine. He let Jack out. Said Jack made sure he stayed out of range of Lucky on his lead. Farmer H went over to the Freight Container Garage to get some parts he needed to repair old fishing poles that he had in the BARn.

"I heard something behind me, and turned around, and it was LUCKY! He had chewed through the harness! I bet it hadn't been on him 20 minutes! He just came in looking for me. I walked back over to his cable, and attached it to his collar again. I guess that's the only way we can keep him tied up!"

"That may be how we ended up with him! Nobody could keep him in town, because he kept getting loose! Where was Jack?"

"The two of 'em were roaming around together! Not fighting!"

"I guess because you weren't there to fight over!"

"Maybe. I cain't believe Lucky chewed off that harness!"

For now, the collar is doing the trick. I drove T-Hoe over there to pet Lucky when I came home on Friday. He is a sweet dog. He jumped up once, but I said, "NO! Sit!" and he did! Then I called him back, and he stood for petting. Meanwhile, Jack had run over to greet me, and was jumping up like a fool. But he's small, and I told him no and pushed him down. He stayed out of Lucky's reach, getting petted with my right hand, while Lucky got the left.

When Farmer H got home, he took pork chop bones out for both dogs. Said Lucky was happy as he put the bone and a slice of bread in his food bowl. And that Jack had followed along into Lucky's territory, wagging his tail, and ate his portion that Farmer H tossed on the ground.

I have hope that we can manage their relationship without further incidents, until time for Lucky's very special operation.

Shackytown Boulevard Is Paved With Gravel And Good Intentions

When we last convened, Farmer H had settled our new rescue dog Lucky in the side yard, over by Shackytown Boulevard. Lucky had slipped his collar three times, and Farmer H got a too-small harness to contain him. 

Wednesday afternoon, Farmer H had exchanged the harness for a larger size to fit Lucky. He was outside putting it on, as I readied myself for town. When I got out of the shower and dressed, Farmer H was back in the house.

"I don't know what we're gonna do! Them dogs went crazy! I had Lucky by the collar, with my left hand, trying to put the harness on him. Jack jumped in, and started nipping at Lucky. Bit him on the balls and the pecker! Lucky went after Jack. He had him on the ground, underneath him. I couldn't pull Lucky off. Lucky was on top of Jack, with his mouth around Jack's head. I kicked Jack out of the way--I mean, I scooted him with my foot, and he still kept coming back! Lucky pulled me off my feet, and I was on the ground in the middle of it. Lucky bit me!"

Farmer H held up his arm, which was dripping a little blood from a long mark on the inside of his left bicep. No puncture holes. One gouge, about three inches long.

"Wait. I don't think Lucky could have bit you on the arm you were holding him with. That must have been Jack."

"Maybe. It happened so fast, I couldn't tell. It might not be a bite. It might be from claws."

"Yeah, Jack has those digging claws. And Lucky has feet just like that. But again, if you were holding him with that arm, it was probably Jack."

"Jack started the whole thing, running in and biting Lucky."

"I believe that. Jack can be a little sh!t. Is he okay?"

"Jack got bit on the eye. I hope it's all right. He run off yelping. I don't know what we're gonna do. They're gonna kill each other!"

"If Lucky wanted to kill Jack, he would have done it. You couldn't have stopped it. But he didn't. He taught him a lesson. Once he gets his operation, that will help."

We got Farmer H's bleeding stopped. Put on some antibiotic ointment and a big bandaid. Farmer H said he was okay. But he looked shaky from the adrenaline rush. I said I'd stay home, but he said he was going over to the BARn to do some work.

I don't blame Lucky for the fracas. He was restrained by Farmer H, held captive with Jack biting him. That's not a fair fight. They had been fine together the day before, wagging tails and sniffing, just a few warning growls, then more wagging.

Usually, we introduce new pets by sitting on the side porch with them, the new one in a carrier, giving both treats, and reprimanding any signs of aggression. Then more petting and treats over the following days, so both are getting attention from one of us. I told Farmer H that next time he's working with Lucky, he needs to first toss Jack into SilverRedO, so he can't cause trouble. I'm pretty sure it's just Jack's jealousy, and trying to protect his territory.  

More on this saga tomorrow.

The Escape Artist

Here's a picture that was a happy accident. I was tossing little chunks of bread to Jack and Lucky on the front porch, when Farmer H first came home with Lucky. They finished, and were looking at Farmer H on the sidewalk. How cute is this??? They are "twinning!"

Farmer H took our new dog Lucky over to the side yard by Shackytown Boulevard. Rather than putting the giant screw into the hard dry ground for Lucky's lead, Hick attached it to the guide wire that steadies the electric pole holding our dusk-to-dawn light. Lucky promptly took a walk over to the edge of the woods, and got tangled in the underbrush. Farmer H had to go rescue him.

"I guess that ain't gonna work!"

He led Lucky across the beginning of Shackytown Boulevard, to the old swing, and hooked the lead to one of the swing legs. I went back in the house. Hick came in to get his BARn keys, and said,

"That dog got out of his collar! Turned around and backed up and slipped out! He done it THREE TIMES while I was out there! I guess I need to get a choke collar."

"I don't like that."

"Well, he wouldn't get loose. And I don't think he'd choke hisself. Maybe I'll get him a harness."

So Farmer H went to town for a harness. But he got a medium, and it was too small. So he said the next day, he'd exchange it ($31.99) for a large. Meanwhile, he put the screw in the ground for the lead, and moved Lucky away from the swing, because he'd gotten tangled in the trees there, too. So Lucky was by the dog house in the side yard, where Scarlett had spent her first few weeks.

Lucky didn't bark much at all. Only if Farmer H went out for something. He has kind of a "hound" bark. Almost baying, at the end of the bark. I'm not sure what his other breed might be.

Wednesday, Hick came home with the large harness. THAT'S another story entirely...

It's Our Lucky Day

Tuesday at 1:00, Farmer H went to the dog pound to adopt the pet of my desire. The animal control guy said, "He's been here a long time. I've been waiting for him to get adopted." Farmer H was given paperwork while Animal Control Guy went out to get the dog. Farmer H called me.

"I was sittin' there fillin' out the form, and the dog come in and put his head on my knee."

"He knew you were there to rescue him!"

"I guess. He let me pet his head. He's a big dog. Almost as big as Copper Jack, but not quite. But he's that shape of dog."

"Is he fat?"

"No. He ain't fat. But he's a healthy-looking dog. Strong. And his leg ain't broke!"

"I was looking on Facebook, and they'd updated it to say, 'Paw is all better now.' It also says he knows how to 'sit' and 'shake.' And that he might be housebroken."

"Well, I got him in the back of the truck now. On the way home."

Here they are out front. Jack is getting a sniff. Farmer H said we should call the new dog "Lucky." That's fine with me. I'd thought of "Barney," after seeing the original picture. Once I saw him in person, I think Lucky fits better. He IS a very lucky dog that we rescued him from the dog pound.

For now, Lucky will be on that wire lead that hooks onto a screw in the ground, used for Scarlett. Though I think Farmer H learned his lesson about driving by on the Gator, and won't almost-strangle Lucky by catching the lead on the axle! Anyhoo... Farmer H's plan this time was to hook the lead to the guide wire on the electric pole over by Shackytown Boulevard. That lasted about three minutes...

Tomorrow I'll give a better picture, and the tale of Lucky's first day.

The Quest For Pet

On Monday after he returned from his trip to Illinois to return "stolen" merchandise, Farmer H called about the dog I want to rescue from the Sis-Town dog pound. He got central dispatch, who said the animal control guy wasn't working that day. This was expected, because it was Columbus Day, a holiday observed by the state of Missouri for government workers, so the local government usually follows suit.

Anyhoo... I took that as a good sign, because if WE couldn't talk to somebody about adopting this dog, then nobody else could, either. Farmer said would try on Tuesday. Meanwhile, I was obsessively (don't say you're surprised) checking the Facebook page for any new comments. Just in case somebody else was trying to steal my abandoned, broken-legged, intended pet! Only one new comment, saying he deserved somebody to give him a good home.

Shortly after 9:00 on Tuesday, Farmer H called. 

"I talked to the guy at the pound, and he said he can meet me at 1:00 to get the dog. He said, 'You realize this dog weighs 40 lbs!' I said I didn't, but that was okay."

"Why would he tell you that?"

"I don't know, unless he thought maybe we was gonna keep it in the house."

"Can you get him okay?"

"Yeah. I brought the pet carrier in the back of my truck."

"Do you have a collar and leash?"

"No. But I'll have him in the carrier."

"Can you lift him?"

"I can lift 40 pounds, HM!"

"Well. What if he runs off when you let him out of the carrier? Takes off on three legs! You still won't be able to catch him."

"I have the lead from when we had Scarlett out there."

"But you might need a collar! I guess the Dollar Store might sell them. Or the feed store."

"Yeah, the feed store right there in town probably has them. I think I have what I used on Scarlett. A leash. I'll get him home."

"Are you sure you want him in the side yard like Scarlett? You could put him out front by the driveway, under the big cedar tree."

"No, I think I'd rather have him at the side, in the light."

"I hope he's not mean and snarly. The lady who found him said he was nice."

"If I can touch him and pet him, he'll be better than Pupsie!"

I don't know what "being in the light" has to do with anything. We're not going to be outside with this dog at night. Both places have shade and sun throughout the day. With temps in the mid-70s now, he'll be fine wherever we keep him. A couple weeks, and he can be let loose to hang out with my little Jack.

I'm excited!