The Embitterment Of The Falsely Accused

Here we go again. Thursday morning, Farmer H reminded me that he hasn't been paid the cash he put out from "his own" stash of money that he used for payment on items for the flip houses. You may recall that there was a kerfuffle over this topic in March, when Farmer H claimed that I "lost" the piece of paper he gave me with his billing. Back then, it was discovered that such bill was NOT where Farmer H claimed to have put it. And that it was discovered by The Pony in another location.

Anyhoo... once again, I told Farmer H that I did NOT have that bill.

"I know you don't have the one for May. It's out in the truck. But I gave you the bill for April. You even told The Pony when he was out here for the BBQ."

"No. I told The Pony that I didn't have the bill yet for April. It was not yet the end of May, so of course I didn't have the bill for May. You NEVER GAVE ME the bill for April. I don't have it."

Farmer H gave his little chuckle. The one that means I am an idiot, and he is SO superior to me.

"I gave it to you. You just cain't remember nothin'!"

"I guess I'll look for it today. But I know I don't have it. That's why I told The Pony it wasn't ready. I wasn't talking about May, because it wasn't yet the end of May."

"I gave it to you!"

"We'll see..."

Farmer H left for town around 6:00 a.m. At 6:08 I got a text:

"Ok I was wrong I have April and May in my book I'll give them to you this evening"

"But I'M always wrong."

"I said I was wrong"

"I can read. Once again you don't see the pattern of the way you treat me."

Funny how I didn't get a response. But I DID get the bills for April and May. On my laptop Friday morning, the coward not daring to hand them to me or mention them, just dropping them there on his way out the door at 6:00 a.m.

A Slip Of The Lip, Or A True Confession?

Farmer H said he would be gone all day on Wednesday, to Illinois to buy merchandise for his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5). That he would be eating lunch there around 2:00 at his favorite restaurant, so wouldn't need any supper. Well. You know how THAT goes. Farmer H was home by 4:00, and said he would find something to eat for himself.

I DID ask Farmer H later if he had eaten lunch, and he said, "No." When I asked why not, he suddenly remembered that he DID have lunch, at a Chinese buffet. Such a selective memory, until interrogated...

Anyhoo... I was just leaving for town, and told Farmer H that there were hot dogs in FRIG II if he wanted them for supper. He said that yeah, he would have a hot dog later. Let the record show that he usually eats supper around 6:00 or 6:30.

I was home from town by 5:00. Getting a snack to have with my Shasta Zero Sugar and lemon. I offered some to Farmer H.

"I'm slicing some of your Oberle Cheese that is six months old now. I can get some for you if you want."

Heh, heh. Gracious Mrs. HM, offering to cut the cheese for Farmer H!

"No. That's okay. I ate while you were gone."

Well. That is curious. He ate at a Chinese buffet around 2:00, but needed two hot dogs and chips for supper between 4:00 and 5:00. Farmer H is unpredictable.

Anyhoo... on Thursday, Farmer H was having hot dogs again, because he said he didn't want me to get him a big salad from Country Mart. He got home late, around 6:30, and put his hot dogs in the microwave. While he was getting chips, I heard those hot dogs sizzling and popping.

"I don't think hot dogs should sound like that!"

"They're fine, HM. I'm cooking them just like I did yesterday while you were gone. For an hour and 15 minutes. Um--"

"THAT explains it!"

"No. I meant to say for a minute and 15 seconds."

"I really wouldn't be surprised if you actually cooked them for an hour and 15 minutes."

Farmer H acted like it was a joke. I suppose he just misspoke. I was only gone for an hour that day, so I guess the evidence points to a slip of the tongue.

Mrs. HM Is Envious

We haven't been to the casino in a while. Not since February, to celebrate birthdays for The Pony and me. We've just been busy doing other things. Well. Not so much ME. I pretty much do the bare minimum every day, heh, heh. And the weather has been stormy, or floody. But The Pony went to a casino yesterday, with cousin Niecy. They have been trying to coordinate such a trip for a year or more.

Anyhoo... The Pony was quite disappointed to find that the slot machine which paid out a $16,633.47 jackpot on Christmas Eve morning had been removed!!! The Pony looked all over the casino, but it was gone. I guess maybe it was paying out too much! Too bad. It was version of Huff 'n' Puff, with pigs and a wolf.

The Pony found a new piggy kind of game to play.

It looks like fun to me. The Pony was not impressed, saying it ate a $20 bill right away. Still, if they have this machine next time I get to a casino, I will give it a try.

Here's another new machine. I don't know what this one is called, since I can't see the name.

Looks like The Pony won $283.75 on a 75-cent bet. Of course I would also try this game! The Pony and Niecy had a good time. The Pony left a minimal loser. I don't know about Niecy. Surely I would have heard if she hit a big jackpot. They had lunch out, but The Pony forgot to take pictures.

At least I got a little taste of the casino...

Farmer H, The One-Man Kitchen-Wrecking Crew

Have I ever mentioned that occasionally, I get a little bit annoyed with Farmer H? 

I think perhaps I have...

Monday evening, Farmer H came in from mowing the yard. He stopped by the kitchen sink to wash his hands. Not that there's anything wrong with being clean. For once.

"Hey! I just cleaned off the faucet neck. It had black dirt all over it from you washing your hands."

"I ain't washed my hands in a long time!"

"Isn't THAT something to be proud of!"

"I don't know how it got dirty, but it wasn't me."

After washing, Farmer H shook his hands at the sink. Then turned to the cutting block, where the roll of paper towels sits on a metal holder.

"Do NOT put your hand on top of the paper towel roll! You always do that, and leave a black handprint, and ruin every paper towel! If I can tear one off using only one hand, I know you can."

But no. Farmer H could not. So he put his left elbow/forearm on top of the roll while using his right hand to tear off a paper towel. He must not have washed up that far, because I did not notice a black print on top. I DID see that half the top edge of the roll is now smashed down. 

But wait. We're not done. Farmer H got out his container of Chinese food that I spent 2 hours making and cleaning up. It was just frozen stuff, but I add scrambled eggs, mushrooms, fried onions, and green onions to the rice. Then there was the chicken to cook, and the orange sauce to add, and portioning it into five containers, and then the washing of the dishes. By hand.

"I don't care if you use a glass plate, or a plastic plate, or eat it out of that container after you warm it."

Farmer H took a paper plate. A single paper plate. Dumped his food on there, put another paper plate on top, and shoved it in the microwave.

"If you think that one plate is going to hold it, you better think again."

When Farmer H took that plate out of the microwave, he grabbed a tray from the stove to set it on. Which would have been fine if it was the rectangular tray I had washed, or the pizza pan I had washed. But no. Farmer H chose the pizza pan that still had foil on it, from the cooking of the chicken pieces at 400 degrees for 23 minutes. Since it was battered chicken, it left a bit of grease on the foil. I use such a pan over again for a few days. No need to waste foil. I usually swipe the dogs' treat bread across the grease. But this time I had not.

"WHY are you using that pan with the foil?"

"FINE!" Farmer H picked up his single paper plate, now with grease on the bottom, and put it on the pizza pan I had just washed.

It really would take less effort to sit him in a high chair and feed him with a baby spoon.

History Repeats

As my second-best old ex-teaching buddy Karen used to chant sing-songily... "When will she EVER learn?" That was on weekends when we played poker with fellow teacher Jim, and they soundly tromped my rumpus every time, raking in the pile of pretzel sticks that we gambled with, while chomping on Rold Gold Pretzel Rods like they were cigars. That's what teachers did for recreation, you know.

Anyhoo, after my fright at almost losing (technically, I DID lose it, to no winners) $20 in the left machine at 10Box on Saturday... I gave that lottery machine another try on Sunday. Mrs. HM, always the forgiver. This time, I only put in $5. I wanted a Monopoly ticket. Can you believe that darn machine did the same thing again??? Took my money. Showed me the ticket I poked, so I could make a selection. Then just did nothing. No sound. Kept showing that Monopoly ticket on the screen.

I waited. And waited. Waited some more. THEN IT TORE OFF MY TICKET AND DROPPED IT IN THE TRAY! That was a relief. Still, it was a loser.

I went back in 10Box on Monday, with a fistful of draw tickets to redeem. I bought them from The Pony's stack of winners, since The Pony wanted the cash for a casino trip with his cousin, Niecy. My mind was made up that I would NOT patronize the wonky left-side lottery machine. As luck would have it, a man was there in front of it anyway.

I went to the right-side machine and started scanning four draw tickets that added up to $11, and also a $5 and $10 winner. The Man kept turning around, looking perturbed. Then a supervisor, the one who always brings a cart over to T-Hoe for me when she's outside, came out of the back room with the key. She told him it would be a minute.

As they were waiting, she nodded her head at me. "Look at her. She's like: 'No problem over here.'"

"I know! The same thing happened to me at that machine two days ago. It tried to do it again yesterday. So I'm NOT going to try it for a while!"

The Man said, "So you're getting all the winners out of that one!"

"More like I'm clearing out the losers so you can win, heh, heh!"

The supervisor was just getting that left machine working as I left. I fanned out my selections. "Here's what I got. Just in case you don't want to buy the same thing!" Another guy was waiting behind me to use the right-side machine. He got a look at my tickets, too. 

Mrs. HM. So selfless. Always trying to help other gamblers in the way she would like to be helped.

WHY???

No, Mrs. HM was not whacked on the knee by a thug wielding a police baton. But she WAS attacked by The Universe on Friday.

I went into 10Box to buy scratchers out of the machines. I put a $20 bill in the left machine. It has been cantankerous, and not scanning winners. The machine showed my $20 credit. I selected a $10 ticket. The picture of it popped up, and I selected the "1" option to purchase one ticket. At that moment, the selection option disappeared as usual. I waited to hear the RIP of my ticket being torn off inside the roll in the machine. But no. There was no RIP. And that ticket turned gray! That's how it looks when they are out. 

Huh. What to do, what to do? These machines sometimes have a lag, like they need to catch up, or reset themselves. One of them in Country Mart does that often. If I wait 3-5 minutes, the machine starts functioning again where it left off. The 10Box machines have each done that as well. I waited. And waited. Waited some more. But there was nothing changing. I stepped over to the right machine and scanned a couple of winners, and made my selections without a hitch. I stepped back to the left machine. Still the same. Showing that I had $10 in credit. But I had no ticket.

I turned to the cashiers, who were talking to each other without customers.

"Is this machine just being slow today? I've waited, but it won't give me a ticket or any options."

"It HAS been slow. It will probably start up again."

"But she's been over there a LONG time. I'll call."

She got on the PA and called up a supervisor by name. I was back at the machine, so nobody would walk up and think they hit a jackpot with money in there. YIKES! That manager came up behind me like Dracula in the Winona Rider movie gliding silently without moving! She doesn't look like Dracula. More like a scarecrow, or somebody related to the Addams family. She's perfectly nice. But scary if she appears behind you out of nowhere. I explained my situation.

"It did the same thing to ME today! I'll see if Manager is still here."

Off she went, to the other end of the store. I waited. What else could I do? My knees were achy and shaky, but I wasn't walking away from $20! Finally, Scarecrow came back with Manager. I explained what happened with the machine. 

"It's been acting up today. I think it's because they run on a satellite signal. Let's see if I have the right key."

She did. She opened up the machine, and punched in a code on a number pad inside.

"I'll look away. I'm not stealing your code."

"It's the same one for all the machines, " said Scarecrow.

Manager pointed out that the machine showed my twenty was "stacked." And that no ticket had been dispensed. She asked which one I tried to get, then tore it off the roll and adjusted the rest of them.

"Here's your ticket. What do you want to do about your $10 left? You can pick your tickets after I close it, or take credit."

"I don't want to wait while the machine resets. I'll take credit, and put it in this other machine."

I thought she might print out a credit slip for me to scan, but she just took a $10 bill out of the machine and handed it to me.

"Thank you so much! This is really good customer service! Everyone here is always so nice."

They ARE so nice in that store. Never make you feel like you're a bother. Always polite and friendly.

Let the record show that my tickets from there won NOTHING. Yes. That sound you hear is The Universe snickering, sniggering, chuckling, chortling, and wheezily laughing like Muttley.

More Danging Of The Doggie

That dang Pupsie! She continues to plague Farmer H with her penchant for chewing. She ate a bit more of his lawnmower seat. A 4-foot long curved piece of white plastic guttering has appeared in the front yard. The cow skull reappears every day, despite Farmer H declaring he "got rid of it."

"I threw that skull down in the woods."

"Well, it was in my way again in the driveway when I came home."

"I threw that skull over on Neighbor's property!"

"And yet it's back on the carport today."

Silly Farmer H. I don't know how he thinks the distance he can throw a cow skull while standing in the front yard will keep Pupsie from finding it and bringing it back. She probably thinks it's a game.

When I left for town on Thursday, Farmer H was coming in. He had some white plastic 5-gallon buckets stacked together, and set them on the side porch. Then went in the house, saying he was going to work on fixing his WAGON WHEELS on the front porch, that the dogs had knocked loose. Dogs? I'm pretty sure my little Jack has not been knocking down big iron wagon wheels...

I saw the buckets as I went down the porch steps. Inside were two drills. I got in T-Hoe with those buckets on my mind. I called Farmer H on my way down the gravel road.

"You need to bring in your buckets. That's just the sort of thing Pupsie would love to chew on."

"Yeah. I'm going out right now to work on my wheels."

When I got home, there was a black piece of woven material that looked like a basketball net on the carport. It had been there when I left. But now it was joined by a long stick with no bark. It might have been a chewed piece of lumber. Or some type of rail from a porch. I don't think either came from our Mansion.

"I see your dog has some new chew toys out by the garage."

"That dang dog! I was screwing that wagon wheel back on the porch, and she came right up to my buckets and put her head in. She was gonna take my other drill! Right out of the bucket, with me standing there! She looked at me when I yelled at her, like 'What are YOU gonna do about it?' She's into everything!"

Yes. Pupsie is into everything. Farmer H knows this. He really needs to be more careful with his stuff. You know, like daring to leave a seat attached to his lawnmower.