"I gave it to you! On Sunday when The Pony was here to grill steaks! You was sittin' at the table, with Pony drinkin', and I laid it down. You got all mad and moved it!"
"I don't remember that at all! If I moved it, I would have put it in the box with all the house stuff. I just looked through that this morning for taxes, and all that was there was the January list."
This went back and forth, with Farmer H having a fit that he's out all that money because he can't remember what he spent. And me having a fit that we need those records for the house and future taxes. Farmer H huffed off to bed after The Amazing Race. I went to look again in that box. Nope. Not in that box. Not in the other box (we have a lot of documents from our flips!) on the chair.
Then I got to thinking about Sunday, and when Farmer H got home. I sure let him hear about it Thursday morning.
"You could not have given me that February list the way you said! I was not even sitting at the kitchen table when you came in. I was halfway through the kitchen, on my way to the bathroom. The Pony said, "Oh! Dad's home!" and I said, "NOOO! He's too early!" That's when you got mad and asked me what I meant about too early. I said we had just gotten done with his checks, and didn't have any time to talk yet."
"No. I put the list on the table, and you complained about it being on the end, so I moved it over to the other side."
"I don't think so. Because I would have put it in the box. That's where I always put the list. Why would The Pony have announced that you were here, if I was sitting right there and could see you come in?"
"I don't know. But I put that list on the table."
"Did you move it, or did I move it? I wasn't sitting there!"
"Yes you were."
"No. I was on my way to the bathroom, and I hollered to Pony, "Make your dad's drink." And when I came out of the bathroom, you were sitting in your recliner, and The Pony was handing you a drink."
"I cut out that list from my tablet with my knife. In the truck. And I brought it in with my list for my business. I took it down to the basement to leave it with my stuff there. And you went back to the kitchen and moved the list then."
"So you saw me from your recliner? You can see out the back of your head and around the corner, to see me moving a list you left on the table?"
"Well, I was in the basement."
"I don't know if you went to the basement or not. All I know is that I did not see you put a list on the table, and I don't remember moving a list off the table, and at the time I came out of the bathroom, you were sitting in your chair."
"I could have been. It don't take me long to go down in the basement and come back."
Farmer H went to search the basement. He came up with his business list. Then he went to search the kitchen. He returned with the February list!
"It was right there!"
"Where? In the box? I looked all through it! There's only January, and some insurance papers from when you switched our homeowners."
"No. It was on the floor. See? I told you!"
"On the floor where?"
"Behind them totes."
"Totes?"
"Them things! Them containers you use for Chex!"
"On the stool by the wall? Behind my chair? Why would it be there?"
"I don't know. That's where I found it."
"So my arms reach backwards? Did you see me do that while sitting in here?"
"SOMEBODY moved it! I put it on the table."
"Maybe The Pony moved it. While I was in the bathroom."
"I don't know. But I DID lay it on the table."
Farmer H is like a dog with a bone. He will not give up on a story that can only be true HIS way. I asked The Pony about it on our phone call. The Pony did not remember what happened with the list. He DID say that I was indeed not in the kitchen when Farmer H came home.
"He MIGHT have put the list on the table? But you were going to the bathroom. I made Dad's drink. I don't remember moving the list or you moving the list. But as you recall, I had been drinking rum and Coke."
Whatever. We have the list for me to deal with now. In fact, I had just told The Pony on Wednesday morning, when he dropped by to pick up his forgotten computer mouse, that I didn't have the February list yet to give him the February expenses. He made no mention of the February list at that time.
I'm not so sure that Farmer H didn't lay that list on the Chex containers when he came in, and it fell to the floor. Of course with no witnesses, Farmer H would never admit such a thing.