Farmer H Rises, Only To Lie In A Bed Of His Own Making

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are the days Farmer H spends at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5). On Fridays, he's usually there for half a day. He does some business, and gets things ready for the weekend. He takes a lunch with him. Then he goes to town for who knows what, and ends up at his buddy's business for the Friday afternoon bull-shooting session with his cronies.

I set out items for Farmer H's lunch the night before. He likes the little 2-packs of mini cheeseburgers, or chicken, or spicy chicken sandwiches that I get in the 5-for-$25 items at Country Mart. The cheeseburgers come with three packs in the box. The chicken has four. I keep track of that, so I know when I shop on Thursdays if Farmer H will have enough to get through the weekend. I make sure they are in the kitchen freezer of FRIG II. I set out a bag for him to carry his stuff, and a mini-bag of chips. That's the routine.

Earlier this week, Farmer H asked for some individual packs of ketchup and mustard to take to his SUS2.5, so he could add it to his mini sandwiches after he warmed them up. I said it's hard to find those unless you order about 500 at a time. He said the bottles are too tall for his mini fridge.

"Uh... couldn't you just lay them down?"

"I guess I could."

"They sell smaller bottles, you know."

"Okay. Get me some mustard. The spicy brown mustard. And maybe if you could find a pack of hot dogs that comes with just five."

"Why five?"

"Because I don't need a whole pack of 10 hot dogs down there."

"First of all, there are eight hot dogs in a pack. Unless I get the skinny Oscar Mayer kind. I think they come in a five-pack, but they're more expensive because they're brand name."

"No. Don't do that."

"Well, you know I can take hot dogs out of a pack, so you can take one or two."

"Oh. That would work."

Sometimes most of the time I don't understand how Farmer H's mind works. Last Friday, I asked him something about supper, and he said he was going to skip it, because he was full from lunch.

"From a little cheeseburger and chips?"

"No. I went to the senior center. It was Christmas dinner in July. We had turkey and dressing, and sweet potatoes, and green bean casserole, a roll, and pumpkin cake."

"Along with your lunch you took?"

"No. I can have it tomorrow. So I won't have to take a lunch. Sometimes I eat at the senior center."

That puts us back to the hot dogs. I DID buy them, and buns, and a bottle of mustard. Farmer H said he would take them on Saturday and Sunday. I figured he must have had a pack of mini cheeseburgers in his mini freezer at the SUS2.5. So Thursday night, I didn't set out anything for him to take on Friday morning.

Friday morning at 5:45, I heard a lot of rustling in the kitchen. That was odd. I had not bagged up the trash for transport to the dumpster. What was Farmer H doing?

Turns out he was getting a grocery bag from the stool by the kitchen table. And a 2-pack of mini cheeseburgers from the mini freezer in the laundry room. And a mini bag of potato chips from the pantry.

"I thought you weren't taking your lunch today! So I didn't set anything out. You said you wanted the hot dogs for Saturday and Sunday. I figured you were eating at the senior center."

"Yeah. I did say that. But I usually don't go to the senior center on Fridays. I'm taking something just in case."

Serves him right! His faulty communication style has caught up to him. I looked at the senior center menu later. 

Lasagna

Salad

Buttered Peas

Garlic Bread

Variety of Desserts

Do you think Farmer H will be eating mini cheeseburgers?