At Least A Humpty Dumpty With A Melon Head Did Not Plow Into Me At The Plate

Whew! Mrs. Hillbilly Mom needs a day of working in a coal mine, toiling on the chain gang, toting barges and lifting bales so she can relax from her everyday rat race.

She had plans Friday to take a day off work for The Pony's appointment that has been scheduled since June. Even called a couple weeks ago to verify, because Farmer H argued over the date. Wrote down the date given by the office staff. And yesterday, she arrived home at 4:35 to find a message reminding The Pony of his appointment "tomorrow."

That's right. The replacement was already contracted for Friday, yet Mrs. Hillbilly Mom needed him THE NEXT MORNING! She called her immediate superior at the stroke of 5:00 p.m. to report the new need, and was told it would be taken care of. Kind of like arranging for an annoying dog to stop barking. It will be done. The details are not necessary.

Of course no plans were in place. It's the freakin' third day of school. Who has plans ready? Our folders were not due until Friday. So, since she had to drop off The Pony for half the school day anyway, Mrs. HM stopped by her room to whip up some learnin' in absentia for her charges. She printed up-to-date (remember, it's now the fourth day) course rolls and sitting configurations. She left a list of work to be done. She ran copies. She stopped by the office to make sure her replacement was coming.

Let the record show that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom entered the building at 7:20. She hoped to be on her way back home by 7:45 to get some other stuff done. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom might as well hope in one hand and...um...feel a bit indisposed in the other, and see which one fills up first. She was assured that her replacement was indeed coming. Whether it had been done the previous evening, or whether the Jill of All Duties had to fetch him that very morning, remains to be discovered.

At 8:10, Mrs. HM was still waiting. She wanted to explain a couple of items. But the longer she waited, the more she wanted to make sure SOMEBODY showed up to take her place. After all, she was there already. No need for pupils to be unattended. The clock ticked ever forward.

First bell rang!

Mrs. HM went to stand at her own doorway as usual. No replacement in sight. A good two of the four minutes went by. Her whole class was inside the room. They thought she was there for them. Nobody wants the understudy, you know. Everybody wants the star of the show.

With one minute left before the tardy tone, in walked Replacement through the back door, carrying his lunch in a Devil's Playground bag twisted shut at the top. He walked on past to report to the command center. Just before the tone, he arrived at Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's door. A quick warning of impending disasters, and Mrs. HM was off. Replacement walked on stage cold.

The show must go on, you know.