Not-Heaven Hath No Fury Like A Teacher Swarmed

Today during second lunch (and by that I mean the second shift of three, not an extra meal for teachers because they burn up too many calories jumping through hoops), Mrs. Hillbilly Mom bellied up to the Kyoceras with Mrs. Not-A-Cook. As Even Steven would have it, Mrs. HM was there first, because she actually eats first lunch shift, then transitions into plan time. She had just put a single-sided 75 job on the main Kyocera.

Mrs. Not-A-Cook only needed a few odds and ends. Let the record show that Mrs. HM would have let her line-jump had she not already pushed the button. She and Mrs. NAC go way back. However, between the two of them, stopping that one job to start another is not in the best interests of their supply needs, the faculty educational materials requirements for the rest of the year, or the Kyocera.

“Oh. This one is just out of paper. I can do that. I thought it was jammed.” No sooner had Mrs. NAC spoken those words than Mrs. HM’s Kyocera also ran dry.

“Make sure to put the paper in right! You see that note that’s been there for years? About putting the paper in the way it’s found in the ream? That does NOT mean the way it lays when you have flipped over the pack and ripped open the seam. Nope! It means the top is the top that you read on the package. Without the seam. I KNOW! Every one of us in here to see the unjamming last week found out we’d been doing it wrong!”

Both of us filled our drawer at the same time. I looked to make sure my Kyocera resumed the job. It did. As my papers once again shot out the nether region of the main Kyocera, Mrs. NAC put her page on the suck-through section. (Sorry. Technology and its nomenclature is not my friend.) Before she had even pushed the button, papers began spewing from her Kyocera’s nethers. WITH STAPLES! Stapled handouts swarming from the lesser Kyocera at Mrs. NAC like so many hornets swarming at Farmer H every time he runs the lawnmower over their nest!

“What in the world…? I’m not stapling? Oh. Great.” Mrs. NAC threw up her hands in disgust. “I’ll go make mine in the office.” Let the record show that using the office machine is frowned upon. Kind of like having sex on your desk with the cleaning woman. Mrs. NAC was ready to risk the wrath. Copiers gonna copy.

Revengers gonna revenge. Somehow. Let the record show that we know who was printing a job from the comfort and efficiency of her classroom while Mrs. NAC broke her back filling the Kyocera that would not have done the work for free without the milking cow there.

Rest assured. Grudgers gonna grudge.

Even Steven will have to sanction the remote copier. Because Mrs. NAC and Mrs. HM do not have the skill set to stop a job in progress to teach the remoter a lesson.