Okay, first of all, I can't get too carried away. I might not even climb up on my soapbox, but just stand tall and bear myself regally for effect. It's not like these Gourmet Lollipops are made of ground truffles and gold leaf and caviar and spun sugar. They are found on the shelf of The Devil's Playground. And I think The Devil is in on the shenanigans practiced by the Original Gourmet Food Co.
Yes. I know the package is open. I opened it myself. Even Mrs. Hillbilly Mom wouldn't buy an open package of Gourmet Lollipops. Notice the label. I assumed I was getting 7 Gourmet Lollipops. You know what happens when we assume.
I even looked at the back, to make sure of what I was getting.
Uh huh. Six flavors there. So I assumed I was getting one of each, plus an extra. YES! I do know what happens when we assume. The Original Gourmet Food Co. turns out to be asses! THAT'S what happens!
Here are my suckers on display.
You might notice that some of them certainly appear similar! That's because I have THREE watermelon flavor suckers! I don't quite know when watermelon became gourmet. But I despise watermelon! Unless it's the real fruit from the vine. I hate watermelon FLAVOR. So now 3/7 of my Gourmet Lollipops are watermelon! One is wild cherry. One is MYSTERY, but it looks kind of watermelony to me. And the other two are cotton candy. That's the flavor I really wanted! Give me three of them, plus a mystery one! I also wanted the bubble gum flavor, but I have slim hope that the mystery is such.
Yes, I know that one of the cotton candy Gourmet Lollipops looks kind of like a shrunken head. I bought them a couple weeks ago, and they've been sitting on my newest rolly chair in my dark basement lair, and last night I couldn't stop hearing them calling to me. "EAT ME! Mrs. Hillbilly Mom! Over here! On the rolly chair in this Devil's Playground bag. EAT ME!" So I did.
You can see in that picture on the bag, there is a little window for sussing out what kind of Gourmet Lollipops you might be getting. Guess who's going to shake that bag around seven ways to Sunday next time before buying Gourmet Lollipops? That's right! Mrs. HM.
That purchase may come sooner than you think. I plan to set aside those three watermelon lollipops, and possibly the MYSTERY, and send them to The Pony in his next care package. That way I can get a new bag after eating only two more, the cotton candy, of course, and the wild cherry.
What I should have noticed, clearly on the back label...the words over the flavors:
MAY INCLUDE.
I'm just kind of upset that the Original Gourmet Food Co. made me feel like a sucker.
Heh, heh! Get it?
"May Include" is a cop-out as far as I'm concerned. I think you should write a strongly worded complaint to the company and keep a dated photocopy for yourself so you can keep sending them if you don't get a reply. Tell them you are unsatisfied with the flavour selections and they should make more effort to include one of each available flavour. Tell them their employees need to stop ripping off the good flavours for themselves, leaving only insipid watermelon for the paying customers.
ReplyDeleteLet us know how that goes.
They used to have a display of those suckers in the main aisle. I love the cotton candy and the bubblegum, too. HeWho was fond of the blueberry cheesecake. I am thinking they took all the ones that never sold and bagged them up to get rid of them!!
ReplyDeleteRiver's got a good idea!!
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteI did something like that one time, but I'm afraid this time I am the one who will look foolish, because they can simply point out that the package says MAY INCLUDE. Still...4 out of 7 being watermelon IS a bit suspect. Even though The Pony adores watermelon flavored candy. He's also crazy about the Blue Raspberry. Not that I got one of those accidentally included with the bag of watermelon lollipops.
***
Kathy,
I found the wooden tree display at the checkout today, and I snagged another cotton candy, and a BUBBLE GUM! I didn't have my glasses down on my nose, or I would have looked for the blueberry cheesecake. I'm not taking a chance on a whole bag. It's really more cost effective not to attempt that bulk discount, since I know several of those are not crossing my lips.
***
fishducky,
She does! But my pride will not allow it, since that will mean admitting that I did not read the label before purchase. You know what happens when we assume...we get over half a bag of watermelon lollipops.