Farmer H Has Different Household Expectations

I'm not going to give Farmer H a pass on his slovenliness and entitled attitude...but to be fair, he might really have to work to correct this behavior.

Farmer H grew up the middle of three brothers, in a small rented house with no indoor plumbing. His dad was blind, and his mom was hospitalized a lot with mental illness. So it stands to reason that he might not easily see how his clutter should be picked up BY HIS OWN HANDS in a reasonable amount of time.

In the past, he has commented on how his dad swept the floor barefoot, so he could tell when it was clean. Which should at least tip off Farmer H that floors are meant to be swept, and that men can do that job. I'm not excusing him here, although he might think that if there's a woman in the house, that is surely her duty.

Growing up in a male household, Farmer H sometimes sees women as mysterious creatures. But while he WILL put them on a pedestal, he neglects to dust them, or let them shine. In his mind, I guess, the are expected to dust themselves, and be allowed to shine if conditions are right and the sun reflects off them, no credit to their tireless dusting of themselves. But you'd better believe that Farmer H sees those women as his possessions, to be guarded from other men who might want them for their own collections, where they'd be dusted daily by a professional duster, placed under a spotlight to enhance their lustre.

No...Farmer H doesn't get a pass for his cantankerous demands. Seems like he knows better, but he is reluctant to put any effort into contributing to the household cleanliness. Even if it's HIS mess, he's not about to do one tenth of one percent more work cleaning it than he expects Mrs. HM to do. He's always quick, when confronted over a mess of his doing, to point out OTHER messes by OTHER people. Like his can be forgotten and forgiven, since somebody else did it too.

The Pony has inherited a bit of this attitude from Farmer H. Oh, he will do chores without complaint, in a timely manner. And pick up his own mess forthwith when asked or told. That's just it. If you don't TELL HIM that it's a problem or an expectation, he would never in a million years think to do it. Yes, The Pony WILL do the chores, but will usually have an explanation for why there were not done until mentioned. Not in a manner of backtalking or excuse-making, but like a logical (to him) explanation of delay.

Genius will volunteer to help if there's something in it for him. Like looking good in front of other people. Or maybe getting a monetary reward for his thoughtfulness. But to do it because it's the right thing to do? Not so much. He will also push to the limit to see what he can get away with. Why make himself a sandwich if he can nag me into doing it for him? Or bring him a drink, because he's really comfortable laying on the couch, and I'm up, anyway, washing dishes or putting away leftovers. Yes, Genius is in it for himself, but still, compared to Farmer H, he's like Gallant in the Highlights magazine I read as a child.

Yes, I'm rough on Farmer H because I feel that he's slacking in household responsibilities. But then, I had running water growing up, and didn't have to take my bath in a washtub on the kitchen floor, with water heated on the stove.

I guess Farmer H grew up with different priorities.