The Dog House Is Too Good For Farmer H

Farmer H needs to be in the dog house. But I won't give him the satisfaction. He should be OUT of the dog house. No roof over his head at all. Preferably in a downpour. His transgressions in the past 24 hours are unacceptable. I guess if they were acceptable, they wouldn't be called transgressions.

First and foremost, sitting on the long couch yesterday at 12:50, he informed me: "Poor ol' Juno got locked in the BARn all night."

WHAT? He said it like my Sweet, Sweet Juno was some bumbling idiot who misplaced the key and locked herself in! And we all know that the only way Juno is getting locked in the BARn is if FARMER H CLOSES UP WITHOUT LETTING HER EXIT!

"She didn't tear up nothin', though."

Well. I'm sure that makes it all better for Juno...NOT! He acted like Juno deliberately hid herself to be left inside all night, just so she could have her way with whatever junk was in her reach. When in reality, she was lonely and scared and holding in her poop and pee for over 12 hours, without food or water. Since Farmer H came to the house that evening around 5:30, and didn't let her out until 9:00 a.m. Or so he said. He might have just discovered her after noon, and didn't want to tell me. Because, you know, that might make me think he should be OUT OF the dog house.

"Yeah, she sure was happy to see them other dogs when I cranked up the door. She ran out barking, all excited."

"Well, you know dogs really don't sense time like we do. She was locked in, and probably thought she was living the rest of her life in there. She didn't know you'd come back."

"I knew I didn't see her last night, or this morning when I went to town. So that's where she was."

"I heard Jack barking his fool head off last night, over by Shackytown, around 11:00. Not his annoying bark. His panicky bark. I should have known to go out and see what he was doing. Maybe he heard her and was worried."

"Maybe."

"Last time I heard him bark like that was when you closed him up in the garage all night."

Not only had Farmer H locked up my Sweet, Sweet Juno in the BARn...but he's got some other explainin' to do about the BARn. Or his new Freight Container Garage.

"I just paid the electric bills. The BARn is 63% higher than this time last year. And the house was only 6% higher."

"Well, I told you, I talked to my buddy who works for UE, and he said their rates went up."

"They didn't go up more for the BARn than for the house! That's what you tried to tell me LAST month when I asked why the BARn was so much higher."

"Well, I turned off all them lights I was leaving on. So it should have been lower. I bet they're charging me the commercial rate! My buddy said that they'll give you one outbuilding on residential, but any more they classify as commercial. And that rate is higher."

A likely story. Farmer H is probably selling electricity to someone else, pocketing their cash while I pay the bill.

Oh, and last night, he went to the auction in the city, without his regular auction partner, and stopped by the casino, which is virtually next door. Uh huh. Farmer H went to a casino without me!

I don't think I have to worry about Juno sharing her house with him.