The Good Old Days Of Wings And Videos

When Farmer H and I got married, he moved from the apartment complex where we met into my $17,000 house in town. He did a lot of work fixing it up. We built an addition on the back for our master bedroom, converted the walk-out half basement (with windows on three sides) to a little apartment with built-in bunk beds and a living room for HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) and The (little future) Veteran, who were 9 and 7 at the time, and came for weekend and summer visits.

Hick was working in the city, and I had transferred from my city unemployment job to the local office, which was only three blocks away. Every Wednesday, I'd drive over to Bill-Paying Town for Chinese food before Farmer H got home, and pick up two movies at our local video store. Mmm...that Chinese was fantastic. Farmer H would get Hunan Chicken, and I'd get Cashew Chicken, and we'd split an order of BBQ chicken wings. That's what they called them, BBQ. It was like no BBQ I ever ate. More like fried wings coated with Hoisin Sauce. I wish we could find them now! So sad when a restaurant changes owners!

This was way back when people still rented videotapes, sometime between 1989 and 1994, after Farmer H and I were married, but before we had Genius. On this particular Wednesday, I picked Friday the 13th for my movie. I don't remember what Farmer H got that night. I know it wasn't Booty Call, because that one hadn't come out yet. But I remember him getting it later!

Anyhoo...I'd never seen Friday the 13th, but I knew it was a horror movie. Farmer H was laying on his stomach on the floor in front of the TV. I was sitting in our recliner, a cheaper version before we saved money and bought the La-Z-Boy.

In case you've never seen Friday the 13th, you might want to check out the ending. It's probably on YouTube. In fact, it is! Here's a link! It's slightly over a minute long. That's all you need! Watch it before you read on, to fully understand Farmer H's antics.

After the other counselors at Camp Crystal Lake are murdered one by one...the lone gal who survives is floating in a canoe in the middle of the lake. The water is glassy calm, and you're breathing a sigh of relief with her as the cops pull up to the edge of the lake to make sure she's okay.

Well! When that final scene played out, Farmer H JUMPED STRAIGHT UP IN A LAYING DOWN POSITION! I've never seen anything like it, before or since. I have no idea how he did that. He was stretched out like Superman on the carpet, and then shot about a foot into the air, looking like Superman stretched out flying. Of course he fell back to the floor pretty quick, and started crabbing backwards in a frenzy, butting into my recliner.

I think he also squealed like a schoolgirl. Farmer H doesn't like to be surprised. At least he didn't jump out of the La-Z-Boy when I surprised him yesterday evening by coming in the door from the porch.