Can A Dog Be De-Nosed?

Some cats are de-clawed. Some dogs are de-barked. What I want to know is... can you safely remove a dog's nose? Probably not. I think it's kind of vital to their existence. How else would they sniff other dogs' butts?

My Sweet, Sweet Juno has continuous issues with her nose. Namely, the time she SHOVED IT IN MY MOUTH WHILE I WAS TALKING TO HER! I wrote about it on my newer blog. I could have severed her proboscis right then! Or The Pony might have sliced it off with a garage-door guillotine!

This time, though, my thoughts of cutting out Juno's snout were not for her future safety, but for mine. Perhaps not so much for my safety, as for my comfort.

Sunday, I returned from a quick trip to town without my 44 oz Diet Coke. I was saving it for later, after an excursion with Farmer H. So all I had to carry inside were my purse and water cup. I tucked them on my right arm, so my left was free for dog-petting and cat-kibble-dispensing. There I was, one-handed, trying to pet jealous Juno, and happy Jack, while she jostled him, trying to shoulder him out of my reach. I have reflexes like a ninja, though. Just ask my former students from Newmentia. I was able to give Jack his rightful petting.

In fact, I was leaning over to look him in the face when Juno jammed her rubbery wet nose against my left cheek, and

SNEEZED!

Sweet Gummi Mary! That was quite an explosion, extra-pressurized by both nostrils being flush against my cheek. Such a spray finally escaped that it dripped down off my jawline. Juno seemed to think this was completely acceptable.

I hurriedly doled out the kibble, and scurried into the house. I DID take time to toss each dog a slice of bread. Then I rushed around to the sink, and washed my face with cold well water and Blue Coconut Snowball hand soap from Bath and Body Works.

My mutts need Miss Manners.