A couple weeks ago, Farmer H went to a birthday party for one of The Veteran's elementary-school age daughters. He was planning to give her $20. Because that's what young kids like to get, you know. A limp dirty piece of paper money. It's the easiest thing Farmer H can shop for. He only told me he was going the evening before. Of course I was invited, but I'm not a social person. Besides, I was JUST THERE at Christmas!
Anyhoo... being Farmer H, he totally forgot about giving that little gal money. He mentioned it that night. Called The Veteran, and said he'd come by and take her out to The Devil's Playground to pick out her own gift. Which is better than handing her a twenty.
Saturday, Farmer H's business at his Storage Unit Store was thwarted by rain. So that afternoon, he went to take the birthday girl to pick out her present. Her sister is within a year of the same age, so Farmer H took both little girls to visit The Devil. When he went to bed Saturday night, he left the receipt, and a paper plate note on the kitchen counter for me to find.
WAIT A MINUTE! It just NOW dawned on me that if he'd given her the twenty, it would have come out of HIS money, but by using the debit card, it came out of OUR money! What a sneaky snake. I don't begrudge that little lass a gift, and in fact would reimbursed Farmer H, had he mentioned it. It's just the idea that Farmer H thinks he's putting one over on me by doing it this way! Can't let him get the upper hand!
I was a bit surprised to look at the receipt, for writing down in the checkbook ledger, and seeing a total of $51.64. "What in the NOT-HEAVEN did he buy?" I wondered. Out loud. Perhaps with some adjectives not listed. I looked first at the paper plate note for clarification. Farmer H's penmanship is perhaps two levels above that of other-blog buddy Joe H's wife's grocery list writing. Farmer H would never meet a brutal, watery end by being awarded the Penmanship Medal ahead of Rhoda Penmark.
Oh. That explained it. He'd gotten wipes, and a small gift for the sister as well. Okay. WAIT A MINUTE! From the looks of the receipt, those wipes cost almost $9 apiece!
Why in the world would Farmer H need wipes for his truck? Is he too good to drive a dusty vehicle? I don't use wipes on T-Hoe. Oh. Maybe Farmer H meant those alcohol wipes. Like for cleaning his skin before sticking his finger to test his blood. WAIT A MINUTE! He's been using that thing in his arm, that he can scan. No more blood-sticking. Huh. Maybe he wanted to clean his hands before lunch. The $5000 house where he works every day doesn't have the water hooked up yet.
Of course I called to ask about the receipt.
"HM. I spent $25 on her gift, and $4 on a toy for her sister, and I bought two windshield wipers for my truck. WIPERS. Not wipes.
Never mind...
Now that he's actually said it, I can almost see the "r" in the paper plate note where he wrote "wipes", there's that little hitch in between the 'e' and the 's'.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteYeah, once he said it, I saw what I'd missed.
Um, I saw wipers all along. In my defense, I am a nurse from back in the day when one had to decipher the DR's handwriting and I am married to HeWho ...
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteAlso, you probably don't ASSume as much as I do!