THURSDAY
I found another unwelcome visitor in the basement. This time, it was creeping towards my OPC (Old People Chair), where I had been slumbering unintentionally a mere five minutes previous.
Let the record show that I leave my dark basement lair anywhere between 10:30 and midnight, and move to my OPC to watch TV. I usually have at least one break, to visit the NASCAR bathroom, before I ascend the stairs for bedtime. A couple times a week, I fall asleep in my OPC. This time, it was getting pretty late (or early) when I woke up. It was 3:15 a.m. No big deal. I don't have to rise earlier than 9:00, and I don't work in a nuclear power plant where alertness is a requirement.
I powered my OPC to its normal chairlike configuration, and padded across the floor in my stocking feet, leaving my old sturdy New Balance beside the OPC. That's my habit. Once in the OPC, I don't put my shoes on again until time to go upstairs. So my bathroom visits, and any extra trips to my lair, are done with just a thin layer of fabric from my black Doc Ortho socks between me and the floor.
I returned to the TV area and unplugged my Christmas tree. Yes, you read that right. It's still up, and I get many hours of enjoyment from the soft glow. I strode across the giant braided rug that belonged to my grandma (Mom's mom) to step into my shoes, ready to proceed to turn on the overhead lights, at the switch way over by Farmer H's workshop door. It's my routine.
Wait a minute. You know how something gets your attention, but it doesn't sink in for a few seconds? I had a weird feeling as I stepped into my shoes. Something didn't look right over by the Christmas tree. I turned back. Squinted in the light of the two lamps. Yes. Something off. Something about the rug pattern.
IT WAS ANOTHER MILLIPEDE!
This one was moving! Marching across that rug in the direction of the end table that acts as a coffee table in front of The Pony's gaming couch. NO NO NO! I had to stop it! What if I'd been sleeping in the OPC, and didn't know it was there! Would it have crawled up and onto me??? At best, this millipede would be on the loose. At least I saw it. Now I had to stop it. Crap.
I got a Puffs Plus Lotion from the box on the TV tray that acts as a table beside my OPC. It was the closet thing I could get. I folded it over a couple times, gritted my teeth, held my breath, and pinched that millipede between my thumb and index finger. NO NO NO! I could feel it squirm. Like it was still marching while I held it, though I don't think I'd be able to feel those legs moving. YUCK! I scurried to the NASCAR bathroom and dropped the whole kit n kaboodle into the toilet. A Puffs can flush!
Now I have TWO millipedes somewhere in my plumbing! This one was about half the size of the other. Thinner, anyway.
It's a wonder I saw it at all. Look at this rug. There's no millipede in the photo (THAT I KNOW OF), because I took the picture the next day, fully lit. Just to show the pattern.
That millipede was in the dark section. I'm lucky it was moving, or I might not have noticed it. Oopsie! Looks like a Cocoa Puff missed my improvised trash bag hanging off my TV tray. And I seem to have dropped an index card. I bet that's where the millipede was going. Do you think? To the Cocoa Puff, silly! I doubt he was headed to the index card to make a shopping list. You can bet that I picked that up forthwith.
And now, for the scaling the heights with The Roller Coaster of Even Steven...
FRIDAY
I had a $40 and a $30 scratcher winners. Not sure I'm ready to plummet down again.
Now you don't have a millipede mate bent on revenge, you have their orphaned offspring who will come after you.
ReplyDeleteImagine the thick and yellowed toenails on the human-sized human feet at the end of those millipede feet... Savor it.
And pray you can move faster than angry millipedes who finally found the woman who murdered their parents.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteNot only are you an evil conjurer, you are also a psycho psychic, because THAT IS THE TOENAIL RUG! I may or may not have shared that story many, many years ago, like when I started blogging in 2005. Not many things are before your time, Madam, but I believe this was. Yet you have STILL managed to mention TOENAILS.
Last night, while padding across the millipede zone in my Doc-Ortho-ed feet, ever-vigilant for a break in the rug pattern... I stepped on something. I don't know what it was, maybe just a piece of sock lint or overlooked tape from The Pony's frenzied gift-unwrapping. But I immediately assumed it was another millipede, and darted past that section faster than Usain Bolt out of the starting blocks.
In retrospect, it was most likely just a dislodged ball of lint from the bottom of my sock, but it had the hairs on the back of my neck at attention.
I love the rug, it's similar to one I used to have, but smaller and in green shades. I know we didn't give it away, but I have no idea what happened to it. The kids used to sit on ours to eat their snacks while watching TV, when they were little enough to all fit on the one rug.
ReplyDeleteI hope you've successfully stemmed the millipede invasion.
River,
ReplyDeleteToo bad that your rug disappeared! This was the perfect rug for our basement TV area. Though it IS good camouflage for crawling critters. I'm hoping the millipedes are gone, too. We hadn't seen one for many years. The very first one was discovered by Genius on that very rug, when he was about 10. It was a MONSTER!
Oh, no! I hope the millipedes aren't coming from the rug! I think that's impossible. Maybe the wet weather drove them inside.
Lift the rug and check they haven't been hibernating under it.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteHow brave do you think I AM??? I don't know what a millipede nest looks like, and I sure don't want to find out!