Thursday, May 9, 2019

I Ain't A-Woofin', It's Got No Bite

Diet Coke in 20 oz bottles, as of late, seems to have lost its umph. I checked the date on the side of the bottle the first time it happened. Okay. It had been expired for two weeks. Not a big deal. My fault. Just a couple of bottles, though I could have sworn I didn't buy them all that long ago. It's not like they were left from Christmas, like the Sprites in the mini fridge under the basement stairs.

It tasted like I was drinking out of an open can of Caffeine Free Diet Coke left sitting around my Mom's house with a torn-off piece of Bounty Select-A-Size paper towel stuffed in the opening. Not that I ever tasted such a thing, of course. Anyhoo... the next time I opened a bottle, from the six-pack I had just bought at The Devil's Playground two days prior, I checked the date. Oh, good. It was still six weeks away. Wait a minute! That Diet Coke also had no bite!

After the initial whoosh upon breaking the seal of the plastic cap, there is no sound of carbonation upon re-opening. Let the record show that Mrs. HM tightens that cap after each swig or pour. Tightens it like preventing the release of a deadly nerve gas depends upon the seal. Yet re-opening yields not even the slightest hiss, one that would embarrass a premature pit viper with asthma.

I don't know what's going on here. I checked the date when I picked up the last six-pack, before putting it in my cart/walker, and it was good. At least a month in the future. Some of the six-packs on the shelf, though, were sweating. You know, condensation, inside the bottle at the top. What's with THAT? I don't think that should happen. Has The Devil been storing his Diet Cokes outside in the sun? Or in another similarly fiery location? I expect a BITE from my bottled Diet Coke. Same as I expect the fountain version to be smooth. They serve different purposes.

Same as with everything else these days, I guess. Nobody cares about quality. Must be the fault of the young whippersnappers manning the bottling line, paying too much attention to their phones.

4 comments:

  1. Complain to the company and also mention the sweating bottles in the store, and name the store and its location. Companies like to be told about this sort of thing so they can keep their satisfied customers. Well, here in Australia the companies like to be told and when you do they send you a $10 gift card to be used in that store.

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  2. River,
    That is cool about the gift card. I've complained to the company about biting down on a bone in a can of white meat chicken, and got a lot of coupons for the chicken! I also complained about an inch-long stick in a jar of peanut butter, and got nothing!

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  3. Did you photograph the stick and include the photo with the complaint? That should work especially if the stick has peanut butter on it, so if it happens again, you know what to do.

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  4. River,
    I know I mailed the bone with my chicken complaint. So I either mailed the stick, or I complained online. If it was online, I know I didn't attach a picture, because that stuff was hard for me back then. That might be the problem. I guess a lot of people make up STICKS in their peanut butter to get free peanut butter!

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