That's The Pony's new single. A song written (by me, with heave plagiarization) as a tribute to his college friend, 2nd Bestie. She's back at school now. They text quite often. You may recall that she's the one who ate a year-old chocolate chip cookie she found on the floor of The Pony's car. I believe she DID offer him first crack at it.
2nd Bestie drove down for a couple of lunches and visits with The Pony over the holidays. She brought him some cookies in January, which he thoughtfully shared with Farmer H and me.
"Oh, Mom. 2nd Bestie and her mom made cookies, and she brought me some. They put some design in them, and I'm not sure exactly what spices. You should try one."
I did. I'm pretty sure they were made from a roll of those Halloween cookies that you slice off and bake. Because the orange design in the middle was a pumpkin. The same for each cookie. Not a variation among them. The spices, I surmise, were just the out-gassing of four-month-old cookies. Not that I would cast aspersions on anyone using four-month-expired foodstuffs... IF they found them and baked them. I might write a snarky blog post, though, about cookies that had been baked and left sitting around for four months. Let the record show that Farmer H loved them!
Anyhoo... it's the thought that counts, right?
The Pony started texting me furiously (as in SPEEDILY, not ANGRILY) from the big triangle tub during his Saturday night soak.
"Want to hear about 2nd Bestie's latest culinary crime?"
"YES! As long as she's not having her stomach pumped!"
"So. It involves oatmeal."
"Ugh."
"It started with her thinking 'Currently wondering how many regrettable things I can fit in a bowl of oatmeal. The answer was six. Want to guess what they were? Or just hear'm?"
"How many floor ingredients? It will narrow down my guesses."
"Zero. It's more of a 'these things are not oatmeal things.'"
"Savory?"
"Some of them."
"I will guess six. Ramen, Hot Dog, Cheese, Peanut Butter, Gummi Worms, Jelly."
"You have one correct."
"Oh my gosh! More than I hoped! Was it sweet?"
"No."
"Six more guesses... coming up. Egg, Cracker, Ketchup, Pickle, Chocolate, Pasta."
"You have none correct. One is tangentially related, though."
"Last six. Paste SAUCE, Honey, Bacon, Mayo, Syrup, Tater Tot."
"None. Ready for the list?"
"Yes."
"Fish, Cabbage, Vinegar, Curry, Peanut Butter, Cocoa Powder."
"Curry I would never have guessed. Nor Fish. Is she off the toilet yet?"
"Eww, Mom!"
"I just though it might upset her delicate digestive system..."
Anyhoo... here's the first couple of verses to the new release:
____________________________________________________
I Stopped the World and Knelt With You
Moving forward after fearing death
Making food with you was always second best
I saw the meal thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing what had been upon that plate
I stopped the world and knelt with you
I've made the exodus and I'm getting better all the time
There's nothing that's inedible to you
I stopped the world and knelt with you
Modern English is probably sick, knowing you're stealing all the glory from their one hit (was that their only hit?) and keeping it for yourself.
ReplyDeleteThat young lady is a character...
Why would anyone think to add things like that to oatmeal??I couldn't even put that mixture in my mouth, never mind about swallowing it. My oatmeal gets cinnamon and finely chopped dried fruits.
ReplyDeleteWhat tune do we sing that song to?
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteI guess Modern English can call Steve Miller to commiserate. They can even call him Maurice.
The Pony and she are definitely birds of a feather.
***
River,
It's Modern English, "I Melt With You."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuN6gs0AJls
I guess she was hungry on a Saturday night, and that's what she had on hand in her apartment! Of course, she is also partial to automobile floor cookies, so I could be wrong.
So many questions ... was she conduction a culinary experiment? Did she add them all at once? Did she add them to separate portions of the oatmeal and taste them one by one? Peanut butter wouldn't be bad, but cabbage? What did she think cabbage would do in the oatmeal? That is just so wrong!
ReplyDeleteI have a record album called Modern English, a follow up album to one called English History, both by Australian rocker Jon English, who sadly is now deceased :(
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteI don't think it was an actual experiment. Having met her, I'm guessing she was hungry, and musing about what to concoct for a snack. I'm also guessing that all ingredients were mixed at the same time, and THEN sampled. Out of deference to The Pony's 2nd Bestie, I will not be calling the SO VERY WRONG POLICE on her!
***
River,
Looks like he wasn't a member of the New Wave band Modern English. Makes me curious how they chose their name, but not curious enough to look it up right now.