I am living in a horror movie of my own making. Not a serious horror movie. Not like those I avoid, even switching channels to miss the commercials for them. More like a mild horror movie. A Tuesday Night Movie meek enough for prime time. Or an episode of the Almost-Dusk Zone. No shattering glass in my intro. Just the window sash falling down onto the frame with a not-too-loud THUD.
Tuesday I picked up the mail. Only a bank statement, two investment statements, a magazine from my retired teachers association, and a little booklet thingy from a company I ordered from at Christmas. We'll call it by its opposites, rather than the actual name, which might start me receiving emails from it again: Common Bads. Or by synonyms: Unusual Not-Bads.
Anyhoo... I put the envelopes in my purse. The Pony came out to carry in some groceries, and also brought in the bigger mail. Once inside, he was taking the mail out of a grocery bag.
"That's all junk. Just throw it away. I have the envelopes in my purse that I want to keep."
"Are you sure you want to throw away your teacher's retirement magazine?"
"Yeah. I don't have time for it."
I put my lunch on a tray, and got my magical elixir infused with cherry powder and lime powder. The Pony carried it down while I changed into my lairwear. Then I descended to my own private restaurant.
I hadn't even had a chance to sit down when the phone in my pocket made the sound of an incoming delivery to my gmail box. When I checked, I saw that it was from...
MISSOURI RETIRED TEACHERS ASSOCIATION
Of course I had to send The Pony a text.
"The minute I got down here, an email came in from retired teachers. They KNOW I threw away their magazine!"
The Pony did not respond. It's almost as if something didn't want me to be heard.
A similar thing happened to us. We were so tired of seeing the Hershey Kiss Christmas advertisement. We looked it up and it's been playing for over 30 years, for gosh sake - give it a rest. Right after we discussed it the ad showing the Hershey Kiss Christmas tree and the little girl reaching over and grabbing one of the kisses, as her dad is making the cookies that people make and put a Hershey Kiss in the center of each one, came on. We both turned and looked at each other with our mouths hanging open. Then I said I wish the hell they would listen to us a little more often - I've got lots of ideas and opinions. Ranee (MN)
ReplyDeleteBeware, beware! Ears and eyes are everywhere!
ReplyDeleteThey're watching you....
I got mail today too, first mail in a long while. Well, MY today, which is Thursday while you are still in Wednesday.
Big Brother (and Big Sister, since most teachers might be women) is watching you.
ReplyDeleteRae,
ReplyDeleteYou might have to start writing notes! Or using sign language. The phones are bad enough. I can't imagine why people WANT to have that eavesdropping Alexa in their home. Are they so lazy they can't look things up for themselves? I think my son Genius probably has one...
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River,
I'd like to think I have a degree of privacy in my own Mansion! And not have to pantomime what mail I'm throwing away.
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Sioux,
Don't make me think of that Police song. I hate The Police! ROXANNE, especially. Such caterwauling is not allowed to come out of T-Hoe's speakers. And the thought of them watching every cake I bake makes me not want to bake cakes.