That's a little joke my sister the future ex ex mayor's wife used to play on me when we were kids. She'd ask, "Does you face hurt?" And I'd reply, "No. Why?" And Sis would say, "Because it's KILLIN' ME!" Ha ha. So funny. Well, the joke's on Sis now. Because my face DOES hurt!
It's that sinus thingy again. Both top and bottom jaw are aching. I'm sure it's due to the low-pressure system that gave us 4 inches of rain last night. When I got in T-Hoe for my daily town trip, I could almost feel my sinuses squeak on that side. The feeling was there, minus the actual sound.
Dang it! Farmer H is going to grill BBQ pork steaks and bratwursts on Sunday evening, and I don't want to set off this pain any more. Chewing seems to irritate it, even if I don't chew on that side. Just the flapping of my jaws exacerbates it. So Farmer H might get a break from my sharp tongue for a couple days.
Aspirin and acetaminophen haven't had much effect. The only relief comes from using my VIBRATOR on the side of my face! The little vibrator that looks like a bug. I have one in the kitchen, my lair, and by my OPC (Old People Chair). I might need to buy more batteries.
If I touch that vibrator in just the right spot, my nose flows like a faucet. A couple weeks ago, when I had a headache, the vibrator made my right eye pour tears like a cartoon cryer. Isn't the human body amazing? So entertaining. Like a thrill ride.
I guess I'm lucky that nobody walked in and caught me treating my body like an amusement park. [That's a Seinfeld joke for blog buddy Sioux.}
7 comments:
At least you don't have to worry about Mrs. Constanza walking in on you.
A flood from the nose? That sounds like an amusement park ride involving a boat...
Reading this makes me think maybe you should eat more of the chilli flakes spaghetti sauce The Pony makes. It could eventually get your sinuses completely cleared, to the point where you can feel the air flowing through them. Have you seen a doctor about the sinuses?
Sioux,
Nor do I have a doll on my shelf that looks like Estelle Costanze! No boat in this amusement park ride, and no special move ending in a swirl, either.
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River,
I don't like spaghetti, but I'm usually around breathing the fumes of his sauce and pasta. I can feel the air flowing through my sinuses. I can breath through my nose. It's not congestion like you get with a cold, but more of an expanding kind of thing with the tissues. Like they're swollen. I have not seen a doctor about it, because I'm not going to sit around a doctor's office (mine is on the second floor above the hospital) with a bunch of sick people these days!
Oops! Good thing I DON'T have a doll that looks like Estelle, since I mis-typed her last name. She would be judging me from the shelf.
I did too. I guess she'd be so upset, she'd end up in a hospital... and then we'd visit her but only pay attention to the spongebath in the bed next to hers...
Expanding of the tissues suggests an allergic reaction, like hayfever, take some antihistamine!
I never understand people who struggle on in misery instead of taking something that helps, and taking it soon enough before the condition gets so bad they can't get out of bed.
Sioux,
Heh, heh! The spongebath! I hope we don't see a pig-man!
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River,
I can't take just anything, because some of the cold medicines raise blood pressure. I guess you don't understand me, then. I'm not a psychic who knows how long this will last. Sometimes it gets better after my 44 oz Diet Coke and lunch.
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