I made a promise on my not-so-secret blog, to Blog Buddy River, that I'd blow some luck her way. Let it never be said that Mrs. HM reneges on a promise, or doesn't do her homework! My assignment is DONE, man!
Yes. Since it DID involve geography, I had some research to do. In my mind, Australia is over the Atlantic Ocean, down past Africa, below India. Heh, heh! I was pretty close! So in my mind, if I was going to hike across the U.S., and hop in a canoe to paddle across the ocean, that's the route I'd take from here in Hillmomba, MO. I'd head Southeast.
But NO! Apparently, the most direct route would be to head Southwest! Hike over to California, (because I don't want to be a reverse border-jumper into Mexico), and put my canoe in the Pacific Ocean, and paddle that way, perhaps stopping off in Hawaii for a bathroom break. Seriously. I'm pretty sure I could get there both ways, what with the Earth being ROUND. But going Southwest seems more efficient.
So... when I left for town, I stopped T-Hoe near the end of the driveway, and made sure my bearings were correct, since there was no sun as a landmark, by looking at the mirror compass:
See it in the corner? SW for Southwest! I was pointing the right way.
In my mind, I wrapped up my luck in a little square silver box. Put a nice white ribbon with red polka dots on it to hold on the lid and keep the luck inside. Tied that ribbon into a bow on top. I blew that box (I'm quite the blow-hard) into the atmosphere, so it could hitch a ride on a spiraling, corkscrewing zephyr. So it could loft and waft its way to Australia, to River's front door. No porch pirate would have a chance to snatch it, since River is home most days, and would hear the gentle thump as my pretty box landed.
Yes, such a grand plan I had. My arm was almost aching from patting myself on the back. But then I got home from town and scratched my lottery tickets, and discovered winners of $50, $30, and $25.
Sorry, River. That luck might still be floating along in the upper atmosphere. At least I didn't send it on a haboob... which might have eroded some luck. I recall that the haboob was never very lucky for me, when I had freshmen reading about it in my Earth Science class.
Are you sure you sent River the right tickets? Perhaps you scratched (and won with) the tickets that were SUPPOSED to be River's?
ReplyDeleteAnd is luck transferable? Or, if someone is unlucky, will the fates figure out the tickets are not for you, but for an unfortunate one?
I'm curious...
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteI am certain that the tickets I scratched were not meant for River, since I sent her no tickets, only LUCK! If I led you to believe that I sent tickets, I need to start moonlighting as a junk-mail scam artist. My twisty way with words could trick people into sending me money for something like the "Human Fund," though that organization has already been coined by George Costanza.
Which came first, the ticket or the luck? The Pony relies on ME to choose which tickets I buy with his winnings, except on a rare occasion when he wants a large ticket. He never suggests where I buy them, because he believes in my luck. He would never ask Farmer H to buy a ticket for him!
I don't know if I can transfer the luck itself to someone else. If I CAN, then that will be just one more service I offer!
don't be too concerned, the luck has a few more days to get here. There's a huge lotto draw on Thursday and as long as it arrives by then, all is well. I'll let you know Friday. Of course it could get lost and land in an actual river, rendering it useless, but thank you for trying.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteI will send a backup package of luck today as I leave the Mansion. This time it will be in a virtual padded envelope with the snappy bubble-wrap, labeled for The Twins' Grandma River. That should keep it out of an actual river!