Can't Blame This Attempted Killing On Farmer H

The Universe plots against Mrs. HM. When not using Farmer H as an agent of her demise, The Universe finds other ways to hasten her end.

We had snow on Monday, starting mid-morning, after temperatures overnight in the low twenties. The snow stuck on the Mansion porch, and the rail, and on the cover of POOLIO. Farmer H was in and out, telling me the roads were fine except for bridges, and the pavement didn't seem slick. He was going to an auction that afternoon. In fact, he followed me out the gravel road as I went to town.

I had on T-Hoe's 4WD but didn't need it. A little snow was still flaking down. Not sure if you can see it in this picture from our gravel road as I came home.

The parking lots in town were basically clear. Some had a shiny look to them, so I trod lightly and surefootedly. The trip to town was uneventful. My first stop was the Gas Station Chicken Store, where I got my rightful handicap space. When I came out, I opened T-Hoe's door and stepped my right foot on the running board to get it. Whoopsie! I felt my foot slide. Good to know. I rubbed the sole of my shoe back and forth, to scrape off the film of ice that builds up from road spray while driving. I hadn't noticed it getting out. Maybe it was fresh from the little mist that was falling when I went inside.

Anyhoo... with my right foot planted, I hoisted myself up onto the running board. My decrepit knees make me use an odd method to get in. I turn to face outward, putting my left foot on the running board as well, and sit my ample rumpus onto T-Hoe's leather seat. Then I turn to sit the right way in the seat, rather than facing out.

Welp! Something went terribly wrong! My left heel could not gain traction. I was unable to get my ample rumpus onto the top of the seat. I was a bit sideways, and FALLING off T-Hoe's running board! This was scary! It was so cold! I didn't want to end up on the pavement, waiting for somebody to see me and try to help. I held onto T-Hoe's door with my right hand, while my left hand was being wrenched loose from the door jamb. My left foot slid down onto the pavement, and my right followed, but not before bending my knee too tight. I usually slide that foot off the running board when halfway down, but in my struggle to maintain balance, it stayed on the running board.

I was able to stay on my feet. My heart was racing as I tried to figure out my next move. Holding onto the side of T-Hoe, I moved to the back door, and opened it to get my long ice scraper. Thank the Gummi Mary, it was within reach. That's the advantage of never cleaning out your car between seasons!

Anyhoo... I used the scraping end to get the film of ice loose from the running board, and the brushy end to sweep those shavings away. I made sure I had traction in the areas both feet needed, and climbed back in. I had to do it again at my next stop, Casey's just across the moat.

I'm so glad I had my scraper! Otherwise, I don't know how I would have gotten into T-Hoe to get home. My right arm is sore, and my left arm has a tremor when I try to reach over to the counter to lay something down while sitting at HIPPIE. It doesn't hurt, but I must have strained a muscle needed for that motion. The right knee is swollen and achy, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to survive.

Not today, Universe!