Farmer H sent me a text on Monday that a guy would be over in the BARn field cutting down a couple of dead trees. Not actually the BARn field, but the one next to it, I figured it out when I came home from town and saw the stump. Which was three feet tall, with two surfaces.
"That dead tree you told me about doesn't look very dead."
"It was dead, HM! In a couple of places. I thought it might fall on the power line."
"If you burn all that wood I see on your burn pile, you'll burn down the woods and your BARn."
"I'm not going to burn it all at once. I have a section behind it that I burn."
"As if the whole thing won't catch on fire. It's a DEAD tree, remember?"
"It won't catch anything on fire."
"Did you pay that guy to cut down trees?"
"Yes. Well. No. He owed me money, so I had him work. You saw the tree. Did you see the fire hydrant at the end of the driveway?"
"What? No. A fire hydrant? What's the deal with that? Who put that in? Surely it's not hooked up to anything."
"I bought it. It's out by the carport."
"Why would it be there?"
"That's okay. The Pony didn't see it, either."
"I guess I'm too busy watching the driveway so I don't run over a cow pelvis or a hammer."
"Well, okay, I can see that. I just saw a fire hydrant for sale and I wanted it. I figured maybe Jack will pee on it."
"Jack has the whole 20 acres to pee on. He doesn't need a fire hydrant. I'm shocked that it's not on the porch with the 2000 other things that don't belong there."
No answer to that. I guess the Master Hoarder didn't have an excuse.
2 comments:
For a minute there I thought maybe Farmer H was confused enough to think just having a fire hydrant would be enough to stop any fires burning anything they shouldn't.
River,
At least he didn't bring home a fire truck!
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