It It Ain't Broke, He'll Break It

I was on the back aisle at Country Mart on Thursday, looking for Hawaiian Bread, when I got a text from Farmer H. 

 

"I'm home down stairs to not working upstairs"

Even I could not decipher this message. I figured Farmer H was telling me he was home, so I could text when I left town, and he would carry in the groceries. The Pony had trotted off to find some pudding for Farmer H, his first effort being Sugar-Free Vanilla, when I had asked for regular chocolate with a stripe. Sometimes, The Pony listens like Farmer H. I called Farmer H to see what he meant, just in case.

"I'm down in the basement watching TV. The one upstairs don't work. The satellite is down."

"What do you mean? It was fine when I left." [I leave it on to discourage possible intruders.]

"When I came in, it was black. I tried to turn it on, but it won't come on. The TV green light is on, but the satellite isn't showin' nothin'."

"The power went off this morning. Just like yesterday morning. I had to reset the microwave clock, and turn the TV back on. But the satellite was fine."

"It ain't now."

"Well, do you think it's going to fix itself? Big Brother is on at 7:00! It's the live eviction! How am I supposed to watch it? I can't get down the stairs!"

"I guess you'll have to call the DISH people."

"Why? Why aren't YOU doing that right now?"

"I don't deal with them. You do every day."

"I do NOT! I don't do anything with the DISH people!"

"I don't have their number."

"I guess you'll have to find it like I would: Google it!"

"I don't know what you expect me to do, HM."

"Find the number and call the DISH people and do what they tell you! Genius used to do it when he was 10. I'm pretty sure you can do it. I'm in the store! I'll barely have time to get your supper before the show comes on."

Farmer H gave a heavy sigh and hung up on me. By that time, The Pony had returned. I explained the predicament.

"DUH! If the satellite isn't working, then neither will the downstairs TV! It's the same satellite for both of them. It might be something with the living room receiver, but it's not the satellite!"

"You know what I think? He came home, and the TV was black because the power had gone off again since I left. Then he tried just pushing the SELECT button on the remote, because that starts the satellite when it goes inactive because nobody has been changing channels for three hours. Since the TV power was ACTUALLY off, because of the power, Dad just saw a black screen. Then when he noticed the light was off on the TV, he pushed both the TV and satellite power buttons. Which turned the TV on, with the green light showing. But it turned the satellite OFF. Then he kept pushing both buttons, which would turn one on, and one off."

"Yeah. I could see him doing that."

We finished our shopping. The Pony was loading T-Hoe's rear with food when he got a text.

"It's Dad. He has it working now."

"Oh. I'm getting a text, too."

Yes. According to Farmer H:

"It's on unplugged and replugged and it's working"

Which was good news, and I returned a text:

"Yay! Thank you!!!"

I'm pretty sure Farmer H just did that on a whim, without calling the DISH people. That's the first thing they do anyway. Tell you to unplug, wait a minute, then replug. I figure Farmer H did the unplugging and replugging while the TV power was still on, and saw the results on the screen, and heard the volume. If something had really been wrong with the receiver, the satellite system would have automatically started the 5-10 minute reloading of the on-screen program guide, which would not have volume and cause Farmer H to declare that it was WORKING now.

Prove me wrong, heh, heh. I'm pretty sure this was a problem of Farmer H's own making. I am not happy that Farmer H was planning to just watch TV downstairs, like this issue would fix itself. Nor that he felt it was unreasonable that I expected him to make a phone call to the DISH people to see how to fix the problem. 

That's Farmer H for you. I AM happy that he felt enough fear of my wrath that he got the problem solved, rather than sitting downstairs in my Old People Chair, watching TV.