The Cost Of Being Stupid

Mrs. HM committed a lottery faux pas last week. It was a boneheaded move, and Mrs. HM's bonehead was about to explode from the repercussions.

I was in 10Box, purchasing not only my personal scratchers, but also a good quantity of $5 tickets that I give as gifts at the annual Christmas Eve gathering at the home of my sister the ex-mayor's wife. I had already gotten a selection from the machine on the left, and a few from the machine on the right. That done, it was time for my own tickets. For this I used cash from my lottery allowance, rather than the Christmas fund I'd been setting aside all year.

There was a lady lurking at the little stand-up podium thingy that holds blank forms you can fill out for draw tickets. I don't like people behind me. She had been there the whole time, fiddling with something. I wasn't sure now if she was waiting for this machine, or watching to see what I was getting. Either scenario was no reason for alarm. Yet I was preoccupied with her presence as I inserted my twenty. When the screen popped up with the ARE YOU 18 YEARS OLD question, I automatically reached up and tapped it to continue. Except I tapped the NO bubble!

Sweet Gummi Mary! How stupid can I possibly be? I know I'm older than 18. I wanted take-backsies. A do-over. But no. The machine told me it was printing a refund ticket.

Oh, well. No big deal. I'd just scan it and proceed, making sure to answer that question correctly this time. Right? That's simple enough. Except it wasn't. The machine kept telling me INVALID TICKET. After three times, I took a closer look.

I could not scan that slip to get my money's worth. To the machine, I was a ne'er-do-well! A young'un trying to buy lottery tickets while underage. The machine can't give cash back. And it couldn't give me credit, because I was TOO YOUNG to play the lottery, which is all the machine sells.

Oh, well. I could come back another day, when I wasn't in a hurry. Or I could have Fave redeem it for me over at the Gas Station Chicken Store. BUT WAIT! Upon reading closer, I realized that I needed to get in line at one of the registers. Due to that message:

MUST be redeemed TODAY in this store.

Ain't THAT a kick in the ol' bonehead! I got in line for the checker who always talks to me about lottery. It was busy. Somebody had left a cart (empty) on the aisle by the line for that register. I commandeered it to use as a walker. I'm not good at standing to wait, with nothing to lean on. Finally it was my turn.

"I don't have anything to buy. I just did the stupidest thing! I told that machine I wasn't 18! Are you able to give me my refund for this ticket?"

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. But I can't. You'll have to wait for a manager to come back."

Well. I knew what that meant. To "come back" said they were out of the store. Perhaps on a dinner break, perhaps on a bank run, perhaps just smoking or shooting the breeze on a break. If there was a manager IN the store, the checker would have called them to the front. They do that all the time. I am familiar enough with their personnel. I had seen the skinny little manager-person on her way out the door as I was getting in line. No way could I stand around and wait. I thanked that checker, and went on my way.

Oh, yeah. The cost of being stupid is $20.