Whew! Call me a master show-woman! I just dodged a bullet and sent it right back to the shooter. Who shall not remain nameless, but be outed as DISH network.
A month or two ago, Farmer H called DISH to repair our receiver, which would deny us channels that we paid handsomely for, on time, for many years. Farmer H actually hung up on DISH. On two separate occasions, I think. Then he bit the bullet I just dodged, and scheduled a house call/home visit/whatever they term it.
Problem was, such a visit would cost a $100 fee. Farmer H said, "NO WAY, JOSE! Forget it then, and I'll drop your like a hot potato, and get a new satellite service!" Not in those exact words. And not meaning to follow through forthwith, because he did not have MY permission!
Anyhoo... the rep said she could sign Farmer H up for the protection plan, and the visit would be free. Farmer H said he didn't want a protection plan, but the rep insisted that it was a free trial, so Farmer H agreed. No charges showed up on the next bill, so we forgot all about it.
On Monday, Sept 9, I noticed an email from DISH.
Hi Farmer H & Hillbilly Mom
We hope you're enjoying the last month of your DISH Protect offer.
Starting on Tuesday, Sept 10, DISH Protect Silver (reg $11.99) will be billed to your account at the regular price.
Heads Up: Your DISH Protect Offer is Ending on Tuesday, Sept 10, 2019.
Manage My Programming (button)
To customize your programming, including removal of your premium channels, call BLAH BLAH BLAH or visit BLAH BLAH BLAH.com/programming.
Update My Programming (button)
If you wish to keep this programming, no further action is required.
Pretty confusing. When I checked my email at 10:00 p.m., I had two hours to delete that protection offer. I felt like MacGyver diffusing a bomb!
It took 10 minutes to get into the website. I could not find the protection plan listed on our itemized charges. So how could I get rid of it?
Aha! Way down the sidebar was a choice of PROTECTION OFFER. Going in it popped up that it was a trial, good until 9-29-19. I don't think so. Because they were going to bill me starting 9-10-19, which was now 90 minutes away!
I had to figure out how to get out of that. Some button, perhaps? What did it say? Remove, maybe? I can't remember what I clicked on, but the next screen SAID my request was completed. We'll see.
I need to be protected from the protection offer!!!
In the meantime, here's a little stolen song about what I think of DISH sending me that email the day before I had to take action or be charged $11.99 per month for eternity or until I figured out how not to.
You're a mean one, Mr. DISH
The elders you would spam
You're as cuddly as a stick-man
You're transparent as a dam
You're an unblocked number with a credit card scam
You're a monster, Mr. DISH
Your methods I revile
You try to bait and switch us
A grievance I should file
I wouldn't trust you for a thirty-nine-and-a-half blink while
You're a vile one, Mr. DISH
Like my bank stealing my loot
You have the statuesque craptasticness
Of T. Jefferson on a boot
Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take T. Jefferson on a boot
You're a foul one, Mr. DISH
You're an icky-yicky punk
Your heart is full of cheap doodads
Like my husband's auction junk
The three words that describe your communication style are: clink, clank, clunk