You Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry. Or MAIM!

Remember how lightning struck somewhere around the Mansion last Thursday, and knocked out our phone line, resulting in a mind-numbing BEEPing for 4.5 days? Well, the repairman came on Tuesday.

Here’s the thing! The AT&T Guy said that lightning blew a hole in the phone line. Not right away, of course. I was on repairman watch with The Pony, while Farmer H was gallivanting about the county with his gallbladder. Ain't that always how it goes? The ONE day in 20 years that we schedule an AT&T repairman, Farmer H goes off to the doctor! More on that another time.

Anyhoo... The Pony and I distracted the dogs on the front porch pew, to allow the AT&T Guy to crawl under the side porch and investigate the box where the outside telephone line connects to the inside telephone line. I was simultaneously patting Juno and Jack, kind of like the tummy-rubbing/head-patting routine, and The Pony was in the yard trying to befriend Copper Jack. Who of course walked up to let The Pony stroke his noggin.

Anyhoo... it was then that we heard an alarm. A siren. An alarm/siren. Not quite a fire engine, not quite a police car. Just an alarm/siren. The Pony raised his eyebrows and flared his nostrils. "That can't be good!" The alarm/siren had come from some gewgaw the AT&T Guy was using for testing.

The AT&T Guy walked back around front. "I'll be back," he said. Without the drama of Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator. He started across the yard for his truck.

"Oh. We've had an alarm beeping since last Thursday. If that's any clue to what's wrong."

The AT&T Guy looked at me like he was a cardiologist, and I'd just asked him to clip my toenails. Like I was bat-crap crazy. "I don't know what that would be."

WELL! Of course he didn't. Do you know WHY?

The AT&T Guy was way out on the blacktop county road looking for the source of the problem when Farmer H came home with his gallbladder. Two hours later it was fixed. The phone, not the gallbladder. Yet the BEEPing continued! Farmer H and The Pony investigated further, once the phones were fixed and the AT&T Guy left. As I got out of the shower, I heard the BEEPing stop!

Seems that it was not the phone line at all, but a SURGE PROTECTOR high on the wall of the workshop, in the corner above the water heater!

There's a photo of it on our well-buttered coffee table.

This is the view you'd have if you were The Pony, sitting down eating your supper.

Please excuse the view of Farmer H's footwear lined up along the fake fireplace, and the ceramic pets and toy fire engine he got at assorted auctions.

This surge protector had no reset button, so Farmer H just took it off the wall.

Here's the most HORRIFYING REALIZATION:

I LISTENED TO FOUR DAYS OF BEEPING FOR NOTHING! 

Of course I lodged a complaint about this with management!
To which Farmer H replied, “Oh, well.”