Sweet Gummi Mary! After 48 hours, this infernal, unending BEEPing is about to disable my brain. I can hear it in every room but the kitchen. As you may well know, I have no desire to confine myself to the kitchen.
To make matters worse (in my almost disabled brain), Farmer H says he doesn't know what is making that sound. That it's not an alarm. It's not a circuit board (which The Pony suggested). He has no idea what is BEEPing! He thought it should have stopped when he disconnected the outside phone line.
Whatever it is, I wish I had invented it! Imagine the fortune I could make, selling whatever is powering that BEEP, as a perpetual battery. It never expires! Of course I'd have to jack up the price, since I would have no repeat business, what with my product lasting forever.
It could have legs, though. If I also marketed it as a crazy-driver. A torture device to use on your worst enemy, to BEEP them away. People have multiple enemies! There's my repeat business! I could even use the exact same device, with different packaging. So the people wanting a never-dead battery (although an annoying never-dead battery) would not think they could buy the cheaper crazy-driver.
Oh! Another idea! I could sell a separate product, a sound-muffler, to the rich people who buy my perpetual battery.
Don't steal my inventions!
7 comments:
Too late. All your ideas are so brilliant, I've got engineers working on them right now. I'll be on Shark Tank within the next few months... and a millionaire I'll be, after stealing your inventions.
If my kitchen was the only place I couldn't hear the infernal beeping, you can bet your *sweet bippy* I'd be living in the kitchen until the issue was resolved.
Is it the 'low battery' beeping of a smoke alarm?
*= old fashioned saying unheard for at east 50 years now, thought I'd bring it back.
Sioux,
Fiddle-dee-dee! Tomorrow is another invention. Besides, I'll always have my Future Pennyillionaire Fortune to sustain me. I already have a Weirdo Repellent in development. I might even pitch a network show about it: "Weirdo Repellent in Development." I've already got the catchy title. I see it as a reality show. I might script you in as a fake weirdo...
***
River,
Ample Rumpus is the new Sweet Bippy!
I can't really describe the BEEP, other than to say it's a BEEP. It's faster than a smoke alarm beep. The closest sound to compare is something hooked up to a hospital patient.
Madam--
No one--and I mean no one--calls me anything less than real. I am a 100% genuine weirdo.
Do not make that mistake again.
Sioux,
Next, you'll be claiming that you're SPECTACULAR...
No, just breath-taking... Those two things on me are NOT spectacular.
Sioux,
At least there's no shrinkage. I don't know how we walk around with those things.
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