Sweet Gummi Mary! We've entered a new era. Farmer H's feeding habits used to be measured by the Towering Bowl of Soup yardstick. Back when both boys were still home, I'd brewed up a tasty pot of vegetable beef soup. It's self-serve around the Mansion kitchen. I returned to the kitchen to see that Farmer H had filled his soup bowl, and was getting out a serving spoon. That's what he eats with. Which should probably give you another clue about his feeding habits.
There on the cutting block was the bowl of soup, TWICE AS HIGH AS THE RIM! Farmer H prefers HIS soup without "juice," as he calls it. I think he'd taken over half of the arm roast that I'd cooked in this pot. Of course he did not see the error of his ways.
Flash forward to Monday night. Chili dog night in the Mansion kitchen. I called Farmer H to fix his plate. I'd roasted his hot dogs in the oven, and diced an onion, warmed the chili, and portioned out his shredded cheddar.
There was a brief kerfuffle when I questioned him about the order of his chili-dogging. Farmer H had put diced onions on the dogs, then chili, then more onions, then cheese. I thought the cheese should go first, then the chili, then the onions. That would melt the cheese. But since I wasn't eating chili dogs, it was really none of my business.
My attention was taken by rinsing out the opaque plastic container that once held take-out Hot & Sour Soup, but on this night held our leftover chili. It's hard to rinse out, without HOT WATER, of which there was none, since The Pony was already wallowing in the big triangle tub, and had used it all, deciding to skip supper.
WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN!
I turned to see Farmer H's plate on the cutting block. I declare, he had added MORE chili over the cheese. His plate was piled higher than the Soup Tower! He'd taken almost all of the beans and meat (and onions!) from the pan of chili. I had chili soup. The "juice."
FARMER H HAD A CHILI DOG MATTERHORN!
So efficient had he been in using the big slotted spoon to dip out chili for his hot dogs... he'd left barely enough "juice" on his plate to discolor the hot dog buns!
I had to resort to the backup container, half-full of leftover chili, to get anything of substance. Otherwise, I could have eaten my evening meal through a straw.
Some people are just oblivious to common courtesy. Lou Grant and the Veal Prince Orloff comes to mind. And some people are just HOGS.
3 comments:
Get ready for the fireworks when you remind Hick, as I think you should, that the "solids" in the pot are for EVERYONE, not just him. Point out to him, (stick his nose into the pot if you must), just how little of the solids are left in there and pointedly stare at the mountain of food in his bowl.
I think you should store the chili in two different containers. Don't let HIM know where your container is. (Perhaps put it in a not-clear container, and label it "brussel sprouts" or something he doesn't care for. Then he can have his chili beans and no juice, and you have a balanced portion of beans AND juice.
River,
I already got a couple of small explosions when I mentioned the height of his Matterhorn, and my lack of substance. "I DIDN'T take all the 'solids,' as you say. I just dipped out some chili to go on my hot dogs." Uh huh.
"With a SLOTTED SPOON!"
"That's what you laid out for me."
Yes I did. I thought he might take about half as much. They WERE chili dogs, you know. Not A POT OF CHILI WITH SOME HOT DOGS SHOVED UNDER IT. That was more chili than he ate on the first night, when all we had was chili in a bowl!
***
Sioux,
I actually had two containers. The second one had less meat and beans. I figured it would be the left-over leftovers, and I'd end up eating it when I served him something I didn't like. I STILL don't plan to allow Farmer H to eat 3/4 of the GOOD STUFF out of the chili pot. He can leave the juice, but that doesn't mean he gets all the meat!
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