Mrs. HM, The Gaslighter, And Loosey

Mrs. HM got a lecture last evening. A lecture on how she should believe Farmer H, and NOT her lying eyes, lying fingers, and lying education.

"Hey! What's with this screen thingy on the sink faucet? It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to put it back on. Because apparently, the universal law of screwing things has been changed to LEFTY-TIGHTY, RIGHTY-LOOSEY!"

"No. It's right. Same as it always has been."

Farmer H grasped the screen thingy with his big paw, and screwed it loose. 

"See? I turned it left to loosen it, and now right to tighten it."

"NO YOU DIDN'T! Look at your hand! Look at the direction you're turning. It's the opposite."

"No. Look."

I swear, Farmer H did that about 10 more times, probably wearing out the threads on the faucet and screen thingy. Each time, he would say, "See? Look. When I turn it right, it tightens."

"NO! That's not what you're doing! LOOK at it. To tighten, you are turning it counterclockwise!"

"Yeah. That's to the RIGHT."

"IT IS NOT! Counterclockwise is to the left!"

"But it's going to the right!"

"NO! So you're saying, if I turn a jar lid counterclockwise, it will TIGHTEN? By going RIGHT?"

"Here. Look at this jar." Farmer H picked up a salsa jar I had washed out for storing leftover spaghetti sauce. "See? I turn it left and it loosens, and then right and it tightens."

"I KNOW! But the faucet screen thingy is doing the opposite!"

"But if you turn this jar upside down, like THIS, it's like the sink faucet. When you turn it right, it tightens."

"NO! It's the opposite when you turn that jar upside down. When you turn the lid right, it loosens. It acts like the faucet then. LEFTY-TIGHTY, RIGHTY-LOOSEY. You can't say it's the same thing, just because you turn it upside down. That's not the rule everyone learns!!! It's NOT: 'Lefty-Loosey, Righty-Tighty and opposite you turn it upside down.' That's not how we learn it!"

"Whatever, HM. It's a standard right-thread screw. That's how they always turn. Just like nuts and bolts. You are turning RIGHT when you TIGHTEN them."

"I KNOW! That's what I have been saying. Counterclockwise is NOT to the right! It's left!"

Really. All Farmer H had to say to explain himself, and the phenomenon, was that if the screwed object is upside down, the LEFTY-LOOSEY, RIGHTY-TIGHTY rule does not apply. That's it. I would have understood perfectly.

Instead, Farmer H had to say the same thing louder, over and over, and still not explain. While trying to make me believe that turning something COUNTERCLOCKWISE is turning it RIGHT! It's NOT, by the way...